She girds herself with strength, and strengthens herself daily. She perceives that her provision for her family is good: she does not retire early but works diligently to see the needs of her family, she is not an idle woman. Proverbs 31:17, 18, 27
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Me and Mama on Mother's Day |
As I look forward to becoming a mother...hopefully sooner than later...I am reminded of all the wonderful role models I have in my life. Women who modeled, and continue to model, the mother that God wants us to be. One of those women is my own mother.
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Kristin and Mama |
One of the biggest characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman I see in Mama is that of strength. In fact, my dad even talked about her strength in his sermon Sunday morning. Any of the measly bit of strength I have, I get from my Mama for sure! Not only is she able to carry more than most men, she is able to handle more than most too. She has always worked to help support our family, and she has always been a full-time stay at home mom too. Those two things alone are difficult to do simultaneously. My mom has always taken every difficult, embarrassing, emotional, sad, or painful moment in stride...usually inserting humor where possible. Laughter through tears...or laughter instead of tears. Taking care of my sister, brother, and I full time...even now! Also taking care of my dad, who pastors a large church in my hometown. In case you don't know what the life of a pastor's family is, please take the time to ask a preacher's family. Meaning a child or spouse. Now that I have married into a family of doctors...I pretty much liken them to each other. Preachers' families do not have the luxury of designated "family days." Ministers' families share their dad (or mom) with the entire church. And we are more than happy to do so. Because my mom raised us to be that way. My parents both raised us as members of a
church family...not just a congregation. My mother selflessly gave her husband to our church family, and she has never complained. In the meantime, she was our taxi driver, macaroni and cheese cooker, forgotten homework and lunch deliverer, field trip partner, back scratcher, problem fixer, laughter inciter, application organizer, tax filer, insurance question answerer, medicine giver, sickness diagnoser, tear wiper, embellished story teller, book fair worker, Girl Scout cookie director, foot rubber, apartment mover, errand runner, house cleaner, video taker, cheerleading camp gift giver, camp letter writer, spelling test reviewer, school project savior, party planner, and memory maker. She was all those things...and still is! These past few years, we have watched my mother take care of her own parents. Moving them both multiple times to separate living quarters, sitting with them through hospitals stays, rubbing lotion on their aging and neglected feet, repeating time and time again where they each were and when she would visit again, making anniversaries and birthdays special in the most unlikely places, preparing for a funeral, giving her own outfit for Nonnie's burial since green was Nonnie's favorite color, making sure every insurance payment was made correctly, taking care of bills and land and a lifetime of possessions, selling their family home, traveling 8 hours in one day to make a visit or take care of their business, knowing exactly what long term health care versus Medicare versus everything else covers, and never talking about it. We have also had the privilege of watching my mother help my dad take care of his mother. From washing her clothes during rehab stays, transporting her to hair and doctor appointments, and picking her up for church to plunging toilets and racing to the emergency room. We have seen her be and do all these things. We have learned
strength from her.
There may come a day when my sister, brother, and I will need to help
take care of her. And we will know how, because we have seen it modeled
correctly. However, many times I question whether any of us has the
strength she has to take care of all that she does.
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Dustin and Mama |
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all. ...She will be rewarded with the fruit of her own hands; and because of her works and deed she will be praised in public places. Proverbs 31:28-29, 31
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Maw Maw and Daddy |
Both my grandmothers have been pillars of model mothers too. I have watched as my parents both rise up and call their mothers blessed...and their husbands praise them...just as the verse says. I have watched the love my grandmothers have for their children and grandchildren. I know the memories and special moments each have made with us. I heard the stories of my parents' childhoods...and how my grandmothers made each moment special and memorable. I am blessed to have loved and been my Nonnie's granddaughter. I am blessed to still be able to talk, visit, shop, and laugh with my Maw Maw. I am thankful for the examples they both set for me as I look to become a good mother.
My side of the family decided to have a cookout after church Sunday. My mom has always asked that we eat in on Mother's Day to avoid the massive crowds. The laid back grilling was just the ticket for a cloudy and misty afternoon.
We all gathered around the dining room table visiting and eating yummy hamburgers and sausage that my brother grilled, salad that my mom and I prepared, and chips and drinks that Kristin and Lee picked up. It was a team effort...and low key fun. We finished the meal with gifts and cards to celebrate the mothers at the table.
God made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
I know that Mother's Day is a difficult day for many who long to be mothers. I know that pain, and I have been there. However, this Mother's Day was very pleasant for me. I know that God has given me this sense of peace and contentment...for it could only come from Him. I know that one day I will look back to this day...and all the waiting days before...and I will be thankful. Thankful for the pain and longing. Because those days will make "someday" even more beautiful!
I am blessed to have family who consider me on Mother's Day as an "expectant mother." I am, after all! Don't you know I'm paper pregnant?! My parents surprised me by taking care of our spa day on Saturday (more to come on that), while my sister and Lee gave me a sweet card and precious guide to making memories with your children! Perfect!
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30
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Russ and his mom Easter weekend |
I am indebted to the mother who raised my husband to be the man he is today. I have told her before, and I still am thankful for her. She is the woman who raised her baby boy to be the man of my dreams. Russ's mom raised Russ to be loving, compassionate, patient, soft-spoken, humble, honest, genuine, and the husband I still fall in love with every day. I am prayerful that I can raise my children to become the kind of person Russ is. I watch and observe. I take mental notes. I soak in all the stories and advise I can. I am learning.
That they may teach the young women to be vigilant, to love their husbands, to love their children. Titus 2:4
I am also thankful for the many other role models in my life who have
shown me the kind of mother I long to be. I was thrilled to find a
Mother's Day card in my mailbox Friday afternoon from my sweet
sister-in-law and friend, Roan. It could not have come at a better
time! I am forever grateful for her love, prayers, guidance, and
example.
I am filled with thanksgiving as I look around at the women in my life who have shown me the mother I long to be for my child. I am hopeful that my next Mother's Day will be one filled with answered prayers and a glowing smile! And, I am prayerful that I will exhibit a piece of each of these women in my mothering so that my children will feel the love, dedication, strength, and comfort I have felt watching and experiencing mothering at its finest!