Baby J,

Yesterday marked eleven months since your daddy and I were approved to adopt.  I can't believe it has been almost a year!  I know I say this all the time, but some days it seems like the days drag by.  And other days just fly!  I know that the day we meet you, all our days of waiting will be a fleeting memory of time that is well worth it!

I just cannot wait for that day!  I can't wait for the day I get to see what your sweet face looks like.  I can't wait to dress you in your sweet little clothes just in time for you to spit up all down the front!  Ha!  I can't wait to change 10-12 diapers a day.  I can't wait to stay up at night rocking you back to sleep while I pray over you.  I can't wait to share pictures of you with all your prayer warriors who have literally carried us through the last few years of waiting.  I can't wait to see you with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I can't wait for you to meet your great grandparents.  I just can't wait.

But I will.

I will wait, because I know that when that day comes...all the other days of waiting will be precious.  I try to soak in every waiting day so that I can remember all the blessings we have received through our waiting.  The last couple of weeks have kept me up at night.  I've been up praying for you, your birthparents, and your little life.  I've been up praying for others too.  At some point, during all those prayers, I fall back to sleep.  I guess when I surrender my thoughts to God, he eases that anxiety and gently rocks me back to sleep. I love that time though.  I love my time praying for you!  And that, Baby J, will never change.  I will never stop praying for you and over your little life.  I know God has big plans for you, and He has already used you in so many ways.  I will continue to pray for you as you grow.  That's what parents do.

Until our day of waiting ends...we will still be ready for you!  So come on, Baby J!  Grace us with your presence whenever you are ready!

Love,
Mama

Praying for More

...in Grafenwohr, Germany!

We are still so humbled and in awe of how many of you are STILL "praying for more!"  I realize you didn't sign up for nearly a year of prayers...but please know how much we covet and cherish each prayer lifted on Baby J's behalf!  Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!

Ten Months

Baby J,

Here it is.  Another month has come and gone!  Time is flying by, and I am more and more anxious and excited...because I know that each day brings us closer to you!  This month has been a whirlwind of activity, fun, and our first beach vacation.  All our plans have kept our minds super busy.  This time last year, I just knew we would be headed to the beach with you in tow.  However, God has other plans!  I can't wait to see what they are.  So instead, we headed to the beach as a "Party of Two" and embraced every opportunity we could...just in case it was our last. 

We also spent our Memorial Day weekend at Pickwick with your aunts and uncles.  We are doing as  many last minute things as we can before we switch our roles to parents.  Your dad and I aren't known as "planners."  We get an idea that sounds fun, and we just go with it.  I know that as our family grows, we will need to plan better.  Ha!  Or maybe it's accurate to say we will need to plan a LOT better.  We are more than happy to plan for you!

You would have loved the beach, Baby J!  It was beautiful!  I watched so many families with their little ones playing under umbrellas or dipping their little toes in the water.  I noticed how different each child was, and it made me wonder what you would look like in your little swimsuit.  I daydreamed about how different our trip will be when you join the fun.  It will be a good different....the BEST kind of different I can imagine.  I prayed for you as I sat along the beach watching the waves rush over my feet.  I know that you are coming, and I pray that you feel the love so many have for you!  While we were gone, I noticed another placement on the agency's website.  I was so excited, because it has been a LONG time since I had seen one.  I am always encouraged when I can see things happening.  I can only imagine the joy that family feels this summer.  It will be a summer they will never forget!  Our time is coming.

It's hard to believe that it is June!  Wow!  Your dad and I celebrated our seventh anniversary this month.  I am so incredibly blessed that your daddy chose me!  Your daddy is a strong man.  He is the spiritual leader in our home.  He is compassionate, kind, and sensitive.  He makes me want to be a better person.  Everyone loves him...and his goofy comments, jokes, and interests.  He makes me laugh every day!  I just know you two will be best friends.  I am also fully prepared for your daddy to be "that dad."  You know, the one that waves a goofy wave and yells "I love you!" while dropping you off in the car line.  I'm fully prepared for him to knock on the car window with a huge smile when you are on a date just to remind you that he's there.  I'm fully prepared, and I want you to be too.  Hehe!  Try not to be embarrassed, because you will come to learn that he is the greatest person on this earth.  You will cry for him to hug you because he has the best hugs.  You will call him just to hear his voice because he always loves to talk.  You will ask him to tell jokes because they are incredibly corny!  You will want to be around him because he is so fun.  I am so grateful to be seven years blessed with a wonderful marriage!  I pray that you find a strong, Christian spouse that makes you laugh and feel special every day.  I pray that you listen to God as He guides you to that person.  I am praying for that person too...even though it will be a very very very very very long time before you even think about marriage!  Ha!  I am still praying for God to prepare that person to be your best friend and partner in life.

We have a couple more vacations planned this summer...unless you want to surprise us with your arrival.  We have another beach vacation in July with your dad's side of them family.  It is always fun to vacation with children...eight of them to be exact.  Well, I'm not sure we can call your older cousins children...one of them just got engaged!  Wow!  But, I can remember when they were definitely all children for sure.  Sometimes I wish time would just slow down for a minute, because I look and they are grown.  I'm sure I will only feel that feeling more and more as I watch you grow.  In August, we have another fun trip planned.  For their anniversary, your SuSu gave your grandaddy tickets for the whole family to see the American Idol tour in Nashville.  I'm very excited about seeing a few of my favorites: Skylar, Colton, and of course Philly Phil!  I wonder if American Idol will still come on by the time you are old enough to realize it...  I wonder if you will be a good singer...or a good dancer...or a ball player...  See how my mind wonders?!

I may not know many things about you right now, but there are a few things I know for certain.  I know that God has His hand all over your story.  I know that your dad and I already love you more than you will ever know.  I know that God loves you even more!  And I know that my heart will be overflowing with joy at the very sight of you...or at the very sound of our social worker letting us know about you.  I know that I will want to study every inch of you...your toes, your toenails, your fingers and fingernails, your elbows, your baby fat rolls, your little knees, and your little nose.  I will study your eyes and eyelashes.  I will run my fingers across your little bald head...unless of course you have a head full of hair.  I will shower you with kisses and I love you's.  I'm also pretty sure I will shower you with tears.  Get used to it.  I'm an emotional crier.  All these things I know for sure...yet so many I can't wait to learn!

As we inch closer to our one year update, I never stop thinking about and praying for you!  You are so very loved.  You are so very wanted.  You are so very special!  We cannot wait for you to share your life with us.  We are waiting...

I love you,
Mama

Praying for More...

...at The Square Cupboard during A'fair

These sweet Delta Gamma friends really took one for the team...wearing OWLS in public! Thank you so much...Mary Gates, Caroline, and Jamie Lou!  Anyone in the Hernando area can still pick up "Praying for More" t-shirts at The Square Cupboard during the week!  There are a few short and long sleeve shirts left.  You can also still email me pictures of you all "praying for more" to mssmith_14@yahoo.com!  I LOVE the sweet book we are making for Baby J!  Thank you all, again, for joining us in praying our sweet baby home!

Nine Months

Baby J,

Today marks nine months since your daddy and I have been approved to be adoptive parents.  Some days it's hard to believe, and others I feel every day of that nine months!  Although we didn't really think we would be waiting this long, we are thankful.  We are thankful for the things we have been able to do as a "Party of Two" while we wait.  We are thankful for this time to grow even more as a couple before bringing you into our home.  We are thankful for these days because we feel like each day we wait, we are becoming better parents for you.  We are learning, loving, daydreaming, and having fun!  I'll be honest, I had a rough March as I anxiously waited for you and wondered about you.  But, God has turned my April around!  This past month I have consciously tried to embrace this time and be thankful for each waiting day.

This past month, we celebrated Easter.  Easter is always such a special time for our family, and I would even say it is one of my favorite holidays!  Springtime is such a beautiful time as flowers begin to bloom, grass becomes greener, and the weather warms a little.  Days get a little longer, and we are able to enjoy the beautiful sunshine.  Oh, Baby J, I cannot wait for you to experience all these things!  Easter is also such a wonderful time for us, as Christians.  We celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. "Because He lives, we can face tomorrow!  Because He lives, all fear is gone!  Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just because He lives!"  Easter is also a special time with family.  We always attend the Johnson Easter Egg Hunt at Aunt Roan and Uncle Jimmy's home.  I can't wait to see you in your little Easter outfit with all the children!  Sunday morning, we attend church as a family at our hometown church.  Your Susu always cooks a delicious  meal and we eat off her fine China.  It is the one time a year we use those dishes!  Then, we have our adult hunt.  I know you will love watching your daddy and me race around the back yard with your aunts and uncles!  Don't worry.  We will let you hunt your own eggs too.  Even though we had such fun over Easter, we didn't forget about you!  In fact, the Easter Bunny left you some goodies too...including some of your daddy's little jon jons.  So sweet!

I also took some time to make a "fly by the seat of my pants" trip to Jackson this past month.  I was able to really take time to visit a few friends and family.  I never get to do that, and I know traveling with you will probably take some planning.  Since I'm embracing our waiting, I decided to hit the road for a long four day weekend.  I am so thankful for the friendships I have made over the years.  I pray that you will have such cherished lifelong friendships too!  Friends that you can pick up with after months of not talking.  Friends who will cook tomato gravy and biscuits just for you.  Friends who discuss everything from their relationship with God to things I will probably never talk about with you!  Ha!  Everyone needs friends like that!

So, Baby J...we are working our way into the summer months.  In less than a month, your daddy and I will join the Smith and Coon side of the family on the beach.  We will lounge, soak in the sun, laugh, cook, eat, laugh, soak in the sun, lounge, probably sing some, laugh, eat, and laugh some more.  This family vacation is one that I look forward to taking you one day!  I can't wait to share all our stories about our beach vacations with Nonnie and Pops...from our days vacationing in the camper to our fun in the condo.  Oh, those stories are priceless!

We are still ready for you whenever God decides to send you to us.  We pray for you every day!  We love you already, which is so strange since we don't know you, haven't felt you kick, haven't bonded with you.  We just love you.  It's hard to explain.  I'm so thankful for this journey to you!

I love you!
Mama

Eight Months

Baby J,

Today marks eight months since your daddy and I were approved to become adoptive parents.  It's crazy to think that it's been a year since we announced our plans to adopt.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  We sent cards out to our close friends and family asking them to pray for our patience as we wait, for your birthmother as she travels this difficult journey, and for YOU!  Man, have we felt those prayers!  A year ago, when we announced the beginning of this journey, we were overwhelmed with the response: calls, texts, emails, blog comments, and the demand for our "Praying for More" shirts.  Overwhelmed completely!  We never felt more loved and supported.  To this day, we have been carried through every day of these past eight months by precious prayers lifted on our behalf.  We could never ever express how thankful we are for every thought, prayer, kind word, hug, email, card, and gift given to us by those who have joined us on this journey.

So many people know about you!  You are one special little one.  You are a special child that is thought about, prayed for, longed for, talked about, cried over, dreamed about, prepared for, and loved indescribably!  It's amazing how much love I have for you...this child I have never met, never felt kick, never heard or seen your heartbeat, and have no idea your due date!  God is good.  All the time!  He has given me this love for you...a sweet Baby J that is growing in my heart instead of my belly.  Adoption truly is a miracle.  And, I have not even met you yet!  I'm overwhelmed at the miracle yet to be seen!  I can only imagine.  And, trust me, I DO!  I try to imagine it all the time!

God has used your story already.  Before you are even here, He has used your story to touch and reach others.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5  

We have met and grown closer to many families waiting to adopt or just starting their journey.  I am so happy that God is using your story to touch other families as they make the beautiful decision to start out on this journey of faith and trust.  I told you that God has big plans for you!  I just wish you could see it.  I'm trying to remember everything, or at least blog about things, so that I can remember to tell you every detail.  I pray that you continue to allow God to use you in big ways all your life.  I pray that you learn to trust Him with everything and allow Him to write your story.

This past month has had some tough days and wonderful days.  Some days have just been hard to get through as I try to get to the next day...in case the next day is THE DAY.  It's easy to get down.  But, I am always reminded of all that we have to be thankful for.  Your Aunt Roan has lifted you up more this month than ever.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a major surgery, and is now cancer free!  That is a lot to take in in one month.  But, she lifted your sweet self up in prayer the entire time.  She said that she used it as an anecdote for her fear and stress...praying for others.  I was so humbled and overwhelmed by her love for you and our family.  I can't wait for her and all the others to meet you - the answer to their earnest prayers.

This weekend, we will celebrate Easter with our families.  Saturday, we will join the Johnson side of the family and many friends at the annual Easter egg hunt Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Roan host.  I look forward to having as much fun as I always do in hopes that you will be with us next year.  We will celebrate Easter at our hometown church Sunday morning.  This service is always so special!  I have pictured you in your little Easter outfit, and I can't wait to see what you actually look like to complete my picture.  After lunch, the "big kids" on the Smith side will have our annual Easter egg hunt.  It's a pretty big deal, and you will not be able to participate in this hunt.  It could be very dangerous for you!  Ha!  There are so many things I'm looking forward to coming up...things I would love for you to be a part of.  One day you will.  And it will be perfect!  Perfectly timed!  I know this for certain.

Until then, sweet Baby J, we will continue to pray for you and the sweet angel who is/will be carrying you!  We will pray and long for the day we meet!

I love you!

Love,
Mama

Seven Months

Sweet Baby J,

Yesterday marked seven months since we were approved to adopt.  It seems like I just wrote your six month letter...and now, here I am writing a seven month one!  Wow!  Your daddy and I have stayed pretty busy this past month.  I think staying busy is the best thing to keep us sane while we wait on your arrival.

Your daddy turned 30 since our last letter.  Yes!  30!  We had a fabulous celebration that lasted over two days!  In fact, our living room is STILL decorated with balloons and a Happy Birthday banner!  We celebrated with both sides of the family, and we were quite successful in embarrassing him and torturing him.  Bless his heart!  You would have loved it, I'm sure!  Hopefully, you will be here for his next birthday.  But, I must tell you that it will be quite a while before we put him through anything like that again!  Ha!  I wish you had been there, because he might not have been such a grumpy old man.  It does make for one hilarious story though! 

Your daddy joined your granddaddy and your uncles on a fun trip to Montana.  They went snowmobiling!  Doesn't that sound fun!?  They had a blast, and I'm pretty sure they still haven't told us everything that happened.  While the boys were away, the girls did play.  Ha!  I went with your SuSu and Aunt Kristin (and her college roommate) to Gatlinburg.  We played around and ate lots of good food.  You'll get to know, soon enough, that our food is pretty important to us.  Especially on vacation!  We certainly all thought about you while we were on vacation, though.  When we planned these trips, I wondered if you would make your appearance before we left or while we were gone.  I guess when you are waiting to adopt, you always have those thought when making future plans.  Obviously, you waited. 

Your daddy brought you "happies" from West Yellowstone.

For the record, we will be home until the summer.  There is plenty of time for you to join us.  Just sayin'! 

We watched a fellow blogger bring her twin babies home this past month.  They have patiently waited for about a year and a half...and have been through a lot.  I'm so excited for them!  At first, I checked her blog daily to see those sweet faces.  It's surreal to think that one day, they were going about their everyday business....and the next day, they were parenting TWO baby girls!  Wow!  Only one reason adoption is so exciting and special!  You, sweet little one, are a part of something wonderful!  And, I am honored to be a part of your story!  God has big plans for you.  This I know.

We have been blessed by so many who are lifting you, your birthmother, and our little family up in prayer.  Your prayer warriors have consistently prayed for you for nearly a year now.  I hope you grow to understand how blessed we are to welcome you in such a way.  You are longed for, waited for, and prayed for!  We can NOT wait to share you with all those who have been praying for you!  We can't wait for the day that we can show your picture and let everyone know how wonderful it is to trust Him with our future!  Your sweet story is such a testimony!  And, we are already so proud of you and who you will become! 

All we need now is...YOU!  So come on, Baby J!  We are waiting!  And praying!  And waiting!  And praying!  We are ready!

Love,
Mama

Lessons

One of the many lessons learned through this journey is the power of thoughtfulness.  We have been extremely blessed by the thoughtfulness of friends, family, and many we have never met.  Last week, we had a surprise from one of Russ's fellow residents.

I have never met Kelley, but Russ and I have had her in our thoughts and prayers lately as her dad recently passed away after a battle with cancer.  When she returned to work, she gave Russ a gift for Baby J.  I was overwhelmed with her thoughtfulness during such a difficult time in her life.  Russ and I have certainly learned from so many of you what a blessing it is to think of and give to others.  We are blessed, and we have been especially blessed by Kelley and her family.

Just look at this!  How precious is it!?  Kelley has little boys and said that when she was expecting, she and her husband loved all things handmade.  So, she thought we would like it too.  She gave Baby J these super cute handmade items for some newborn pictures since she knows how much Russ enjoys photography.  And, we absolutely LOVE it!  More than that, we love the thought and prayers that it represents.  

Russ and I are challenged to do more for others and think of others more.  We are challenged to not only lift others up in prayer, but to let them know we are doing so.  Such a blessing!  Thank you, Kelley and family!  You have blessed us!

Six Months

Baby J,

Yesterday marked six months since the day we were officially approved.  Wow!  It does not seem like it has been that long AT ALL!  Things seem to be flying by (most of the time).  Of course, the last six months were filled with football, Thanksgiving, Christmas, vacations, and celebrations.  That helps to make the time move a little faster.

I'll be honest.  I really thought you would be here by now, so I put off planning my 2012 vacations.  But, I know that God has that timed perfectly.  So your daddy and I are planning away at some fun vacations coming up!  Let's see....your daddy is going with your Uncle "Tat", Uncle "Leeroy", and your "Dendy" to Montana this month on a snowmobiling trip.  But if you want to come before then, that's fine!  I don't mind!  Ha!  Your "SuSu", Aunt Kristin, and I are trying to decide if we will take a girls trip during that same time to Gatlinburg.  It's just a road trip, and it is easy to get back home if I need to (Hint. Hint.).  Then, in June, we are all going on our annual Panama City Beach trip with "Susu's" side of the family!  We'll be happy to take you with us if you wanna go!  Your daddy and I are also planning to join your Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Roan, Uncle Jeff, Aunt Jenny, and all your cousins on another beach vacation to Seaside.  Doesn't all that sound fun!?  I'm sure we are keeping ourselves busy enough for the next however many months to fly by as well.  We have to keep ourselves busy so that we won't go crazy!

We've had several special happies given to you this month!  One special happy was made for you by your cousin Julie.  She and her sisters are extremely talented!  They can do anything!  But, they all love to crochet.  She crocheted you this adorable owl hat!  How cute is that!?  I LOVE it!  I can't wait to put it on your itty bitty head!  Since I saw this precious gift, I have given the girls a list of things to work on for your room!  I can't wait!

To celebrate the new year of waiting, I stopped by Ginger's and found a sweet newborn outfit for one of your early days in this world.  I love to look at it and picture your little body wearing it!  I can't wait to see what you look like in this sweet gown!

Once again, you will see that we have not forgotten about you!  We think about you every day.  We talk about you every day.  We are praying for you every day.  Not just us...TONS of people are praying for YOU!  In fact, one of our sweet friends came up to me yesterday at church and told me that she prayed for you Sunday morning before church.  She had a feeling that Baby J was coming soon.  We'll see!  Just remember, sweet one, that you are being covered in prayer from all over the world!  You are loved, longed for, and anticipated!  I hope to meet your sweet face very soon!  We love you already, and we haven't even met!  Imagine how much love we will have for you when we actually get to hold you, care for you, and take you home!

Love always,
Mama

Special Mail

When I checked my mail today, I was in for a sweet surprise!  Baby J had mail!  Not just any mail.  Special mail from some very special friends!  Leah was my block partner in college, and she became such a special friend to me!  When I opened the package, I was giggling with joy as I saw the precious owl!  She knows me well!

Her sweet letter is what brought tears to my eyes.  Such a sweet and genuine heart, and incredibly thoughtful.  Baby J had his or her own stationary with a heartfelt letter inside.  Matt and Leah included some owl tissues for Mommy to use when I first lay eyes on that sweet baby face!  I was tempted to pull one out the second I read the words.  I sure needed them!

Russ and I are so incredibly blessed with such cherished friendships and loving acts even by those we have just met.  We are antsy with anticipation most days, and content with our time together some days.  We are anxiously awaiting the day God shows us immeasurably more!  Thank you to all of you who have not forgotten.  Thank you for your continued prayers and words of encouragement!  You have no idea how much we cherish them!  Thank you seems so inadequate, but it's all the words I have for now.  We are overwhelmed with love from you all!  And we are overwhelmed with love FOR you all too!

Praying for More...

Five Months

Baby J,

Well, little one, it wasn't quite the Christmas we had hoped for.  Don't get me wrong.  We had an amazing Christmas holiday filled with family, friends, and fun!  But, I'll admit that I was secretly hoping to meet you by Christmas.  There were LOTS of people praying for that, as a matter of fact.  Obviously, God has other plans...plans better than anything I could ever ask or imagine!  I spend a whole lot of time reminding myself of that.  I hope to share that promise with you one day!  I hope that you spend your life anticipating His plans for you.

Don't worry, Baby J.  We didn't forget about you this year!  Our families and friends spent precious time choosing Christmas gifts for you!  I got to open most of them, because your daddy had to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I was so excited...almost giddy...as I opened each one!  I have some favorites for you.  I have some priceless ones for you.  I also have some fun ones for you!

Can you believe all that love this Christmas?!  Your daddy and I are so ready to show you all your fun gifts!  I just know you will love each one!  Your Aunt Roan even gave you a girl bib and a boy bib that says, "I Love My Aunt."  She says she has a funny feeling that twins are on the way!  Oh my, Aunt Roan!  Ha!  She also said that we could use the color you need and save the other for future Baby J's.

I had one special gift that I absolutely canNOT wait to see you with!  When I was a little girl, my parents hung a quilted countdown to Christmas on our bedroom door.  It was on mine and your Aunt Kristin's door for years (we shared a room).  When we "outgrew it" (or became 'too cool'), it hung on Uncle Tat's door.  It was the most fun part of our day!  We took turns moving the bear from place to place as we counted down to Christmas!  It is a treasured memory for me!  It was made for us by a family friend, Suzy.  I knew I wanted some type of countdown hanger for your sweet room, so I mentioned it to your SuSu.  Your SuSu spent hours looking for a special surprise for you! She researched and researched and was able to find the EXACT ONE we had!!!  I was shocked!  I just know you are going to love it as much as I did!  She found out that they don't even make it anymore.  But so many children from the 80's are looking for the one they grew up with, they are selling the pattern again!  Score!  SuSu tells me she is going to help me make this.  I'm definitely going to hold her to it!  I'm a little intimidated, but you are very worth it!

Maw Maw has prayed and prayed for you to be here by Christmas.  In fact, she let me know that "she was taking care of it."  When she realized it wasn't time for you to make your appearance, she made sure she was around for the adoption creed.  Maw Maw gave you two Cabbage Patch dolls...a girl and a boy.  With each doll, there were adoption papers with a creed.  She had us read the creed so that she could witness it.  So special!  She also brought you a Christmas outfit for next year.  To top it off, Maw Maw gave you the little pillow we all slept on at her house when we were little and the itty bitty fork and spoon we used at her house.

Do you see how loved and anticipated you are?!  We are praying for you daily.  We think about you, sometimes, all day!  And, I'll admit it right here.  I'm praying to have your first Christmas next year.  Does that sound okay to you?  I guess I better get busy on that quilt!

Some days it feels like yesterday we were approved to become adoptive parents.  Other days it feels like years.  It's only been five months, and I can tell you that it is worth every day of waiting to see who God has in store for our family!

Love,
Mama

3 Months

Sweet Baby J,

Well, today marks three months since your daddy and I have been approved to adopt you.  I know this sounds like it has been just a number of days, but I must tell you that it seems like an eternity!  We know that the day we meet you, the difficult days will simply melt away.  We will be so overcome with love and thankfulness, I'm sure the hard times will not even cross our minds.

I haven't shopped quite as much for you this past month.  I did order you one cute sock monkey, and I LOVE him!  I hope you love him too!  Your room smells so good, by the way.  I found the long lost Island Margarita Wallflower I've been looking for.  Ha!  I know the name doesn't sound very much like a baby, but it is delightful!

This past month has been a month of great friends and prayer warriors!  We are forever grateful for the tens and hundreds of people praying for you, praying for your birthmother, and praying for us.  How do I know they are praying?  Well, we constantly receive texts, emails, messages, letters, fun gifts, and we still have new people ordering shirts!  Just last week, your "Aunt" Felicia and Pat sent us a fun package in the mail!  Felicia knows my love of Candy Corn, so she sent me a king size bag.  She also knows how obsessed I am with anything owl, so she sent a cute owl Wallflower plug, and they sent you a precious owl pacifier clip.  I love it!  For an October touch, they added a cute kitchen towel for fun!  Trust me...I will introduce you to the Robbins very soon after you join our family.  They are such a precious part of our lives and your journey.  We love them dearly!  And they love YOU!  If you are a boy, you will probably be best buds with Toby and Nate.  And, if you're a girl...well, we might just try to arrange a marriage with one of those little boys!  I can ONLY imagine the fun family holidays that would ensue!  Ha!

We haven't seen any placements online this month, so that helps keep me sane I think.  I sure would love for the next placement to be you.  I also know that God's timing is perfect, and I choose to wait on Him.  My heart is aching for you in my arms.  My eyes are dying to see your sweet face.  And my dreams are full of mystery when I dream about you, because I can't get a clear picture of your face. 

I know I tell you every month, Baby J, but hurry home!  We are ready to meet you, hold you, kiss you, teach you, and love you!  We pray for you every day...several times a day.  We pray for the angel who is carrying you, or will carry you.  We pray that you are growing strong (or will grow strong).  We pray that your first mother will allow the Lord to guide her as she chooses your forever family.  And, we pray that He use us to minister to her or comfort her however she may need.  We pray that you always feel the respect and pride for her that we already do.  I'm sure you will, because we will teach you to be proud of her decision. 

November is such a wonderful time.  It's a month that we all focus on giving thanks.  It is also National Adoption Month.  So, today, I'm especially thankful for adoption.  And, I'm thankful for your journey.  I never could have imagined such a wonderful journey!  God truly is able to do immeasurably more!  This journey has taught us so much...most importantly, it has taught us how to be totally dependent on Him and trust His plan and timing.  Adoption also gives such a tangible picture of what our Heavenly Father has done for us...adopting us into His family for eternity!  I'm so thankful for this experience.  I hope you will feel the same as you grow.

The holidays are coming soon, and I can't help but wonder if you will be here to enjoy our family celebrations this year.  I'm up for it!  Are you?  For the record, we would LOVE to welcome you into our family traditions this holiday season!  So, come on, little one!  We are waiting!  And, while we wait...we will trust God's timing. 

 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:14

Love,
Mama

Two Months

Sweet Baby J,

I can't believe it has been two months since we had our home study approved!  Time is flying by!  I hope it continues to fly by as we wait to see your itty bitty face!  We have seen several placements in the last month or two.  Although I was sad that it wasn't you, I am trusting in God's perfect timing.  Because if those placements had been for us...it wouldn't have been YOU.

Your room had one more addition this month.  Your Granmomma and Aunt Jenny made your crib skirt.  It looks so sweet!  They also made a fun pillow with owls on it!  Your room is looking nearly complete.  I'm going to put a few frames on the walls, and I'm waiting for you before I put the final touch above your crib.  So come on, Baby J!  We are ready to meet you!  I jokingly told everyone that whenever I see a placement on the Bethany website, I run out to buy you something as consolation. I stopped buying gender neutral things though.  I figured I bought all the yellow ducks I could stand for a while.  Ha!  I've started getting one boy and one girl outfit or accessory each time.  Your daddy isn't too excited about that, but I'm saving the receipts to return whichever one we don't need.  I may even save some for future baby shower gifts.  Your little closet it coming along.  You got your first piece of mail last week from "Aunt Kelly" and "Uncle Aaron."  I was very excited!  I guess you can see how things are coming together for you.    We have a few more necessities to purchase like bottles, diapers, wipes, etc.  But, I'm holding out for the phone call I guess.  Probably because I have no idea what to get!  There are way too many choices out there.  There are also lots of things on our baby registries that we have saved.  We want everything perfect for your little life.

So many people ask about you all the time.  Most of the time they ask, "Have you heard anything?" or "Where are ya'll in the process?"  We just smile and say, "Not yet.  We're just waiting on a phone call."  That's exciting to think that one phone call will change our lives.  Lots of friends and family want to know if we have picked out names yet.  We smile and shrug our shoulders.  The truth is that we do know what your name will probably be.  But, we want to tell you first!  I think it's more fun that way.  I'm sure our families would disagree.  Ha!  It's so fun for your daddy and me to refer to you by name!

We are all still "praying for more" here!  More friends, family, and even more we haven't met have asked for long sleeve shirts as reminders to pray for you.  So, we have placed two orders of long sleeve shirts already!  We branched out on our colors to True Maroon and navy.  Can you see my team spirit coming out?  To be honest, our Bulldogs aren't doing very well right now.  Maybe by the time you come to us, we will have won more games!  Ha!  We are still getting pictures of others "praying for more" all over the world.  In fact, your daddy's cousin just sent us a picture of her "praying for more" in Haiti!  Wow!  We are all praying for you, Baby J!  Praying that you are growing healthy.  Praying that you will feel all the love we have to give you.  We are praying for the angel who is/will be carrying you.  We pray that she feel God's arms wrapped around her and seek His guidance as she looks for a forever family for you.  We cannot express how thankful we are for your angel that she chose a future plan for you.  I hope you understand the difficulty of her choice and respect her as much as we do!

We are ready for you, Baby J!  Come to us soon!

We love you,
Mama

Handmade by Granmomma

Tuesday night, Russ and I had our regular Tuesday visitors...his parents.  With so many nieces and nephews, I just call them Granmomma and Pop.  Ha!  Whenever Granmomma has a doctor's appointment in Memphis, which is pretty regular, they stop by our apartment and take us to supper.  Cracker Barrel is our usual spot.  This time, Granmomma brought Baby J a couple of handmade goodies.  Russ's sister and mom made a precious crib skirt for Baby J's crib, and it is perfect!  I told them what I wanted, and left the details up to them.

Now, the room is complete except for the walls!  I had someone make the curtains for me with fabric I found.  The crib sheet and and bedding came separately too.  Yet, it looks like the bedroom was bought as a set!  Perfect!  I love it!

Russ's mom brought a surprise happy too.  She made a pillow with owl fabric she found.  Very cute!  I placed it right in the glider with Baby J's zebra. 

Now, Baby J is not only prayed for all over the world...he/she has a bedroom handmade and put together with love!

Now, if we could just fill that room up with a baby and all the baby things!  Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Praying for more...

Baby J's First Mail Call

When I went to college, I was so excited about this new life living by myself...with all my friends from home.  I wasn't good at meeting new people.  I'm still not.  I wasn't interested in putting myself out there in fear of others not approving.  I still struggle with this too.  I was rooming with someone I did not know, went through rush and chose a different sorority than my friends, and I was all of a sudden on my own.  Of course, I knew the older Chi O's, but as you know, pledges pretty much spend most of their time in their own meetings and in dorms with other freshmen.  So, there I was...forced to make friends.  I still wasn't good at it.  I remember crying after bid day, thinking to myself, "What did I do?"  Most of my friends were all together a few houses down, and they had each other to eat with, ride to meetings with, etc.  I had to figure this out.

Then there was this girl.  She knocked on my door and asked me about the BeautiControl magazines I had outside my door.  I should add that I also tried to sell that for a little while.  Ha!  Then, there was another girl who stopped me outside the bathroom and asked my name.  Fifteen minutes later, I was walking back to my room with a new friend.  It turns out, my choice during rush turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.  I left college with some of the best friends I'd ever had.  Ladies who genuinely cared about me, knew my faults, made fun of my "teachery" style, were scared of my roommate, lived with me for years, and were in my wedding.  I still consider these ladies some of my best friends who hold some of my favorite memories ever!  I could probably write a book about our escapades and silliness, but I won't.

Yesterday, I went by the mailbox to find Baby J's first package.  Inside was a letter from my college roommate of three years...my best friend from college.  She was the girl who knocked on my door.  She sought me out.  She befriended me because I was too shy to do it myself.  God placed her in my life.  I'm so glad! 

Kelly wrote such a sweet note to Baby J...including a note for him/her to ask me about a hot tub adventure one day!  Not sure I'll be showing Baby J this particular letter until he/she is much MUCH older!  Ha!  Some things are just better left between friends!  With this treasured letter, Kelly sent the most adorable outfits and bibs!  And, of course, they have OWLS on them!  What else would you expect?

Her timing could not have been more perfect!  Earlier this past week had been a tough one for me.  My patience had run thin, I was losing sleep, and I was making myself crazy!  It has only been a little over a month since our home study approval, and I'm acting like a crazy person.  There have been many Mississippi placements since August, and I must admit it's hard to watch.  However, I am reminded by such thoughtfulness how many people are praying for us and our sweet baby.  I am reminded how excited I am to allow God, in all His wisdom, to choose the makeup of our family.  And, this means I must wait for His perfect timing.  I have absolutely no problem with that part.  It's the not knowing when that has bothered me!  I am so thankful for the friendships shared between these sweet ladies I met nearly 10 years ago.  Little did I know how my life would be impacted by their examples so many years later!

Thank you, Kelly and Aaron!  I'm so grateful that God placed us in each other's lives.  I laugh at the most random times, still, when I think about all our shenanigans and conversations.  I also tear up when I think of the moments we shared.  Thank you for your perfect timing.  Thank you for pulling me out of my slump.  And thank you, most of all, for your continued prayers for our little family.  We love you!

"But, I trust in you, Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands..." Psalm 31:14-15

Praying for more...

One Month

Sweet Baby J,

It has been one month since we were officially approved as adoptive parents.  I still have a hard time believing this dream journey the Lord has put in our lives.  It's surreal to think that any day now, we could receive one phone call that will change our life for the better.  We have watched several friends complete their adoption journey, and the joy we feel for them is overwhelming...yet so small compared to how we will feel when we learn of your arrival!

While we wait, we have been busy preparing a sweet place for you.  We received your stroller last week, and we hung your curtains too.  I even got crafty making a cute wreath for your door.  Your room is beginning to look so sweet!  I love to sit in the glider and imagine what it will be like with you in my arms.  I wonder what you will look like, what sounds you will make, what interests you will have, and how you will handle all the love our families have to give!  There will be a lot!  So, I hope you are ready.

I think about the angel God is preparing to take care of you, or who already is taking care of you, while we wait.  The angel that will give us such a precious gift...a child to love and care for forever!  I pray for that angel too.  I pray that she feel His comfort and peace.  I pray that she listen to God as He guides her in choosing a family for her baby.  I pray for her story...your beginning story.  I pray that God will give us the words and the way to share your story with you one day.  I pray that you feel proud of the angel God sends.  Proud of her decision and happy with her choice to give you life and a plan for your future.  We are already so proud of her...whoever she may be and wherever she may live.  We pray you feel the same way.

When we are shopping, we always stop by the baby section.  Your daddy and I have picked out some super cute outfits for you!  We chose a coming home outfit for you too!  In fact, we bought one boy and one girl outfit.  They are both precious, and we can't wait to see which you will wear!  Your little closet looks so sweet with those tiny clothes.  I started saving things I wanted on registries so that I won't forget anything.  I love to sit and just look at all the things babies need.  I can't wait to wash the bottles, pick up thrown pacifiers, search for tiny socks (that I'm sure Farley will stash under our beds), change dirty diapers, read sweet books, swaddle your sweet body, and wash your tiny fingers and toes.  I can only imagine all the shopping we will do when you finally arrive!  Your daddy has no idea what he's in for!  Ha!

Although the waiting is hard, we are thankful for the wait.  Because we know that God teaches us and molds us through these periods of waiting.  We learned this over the past five years of waiting.  We have changed so much as a couple since we first decided to grow our family.  Our God worked so much in our hearts.  He prepared a place for you in our hearts just like we are preparing a place in our home.  There is a spot in our hearts for you!  A place that God put there.  I can't imagine a better place than one that God prepares, can you?  We cannot wait for the day you fill that place!  We are comforted by God's promises to us.  We know that He is able to do immeasurably MORE than anything we could ever ask or imagine!  So, we know you will be immeasurably more!  We know that God is good to those whose HOPE is in Him.  We love you so.  We love you now...even when there is only the hope of you!  We also know that since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor has the eye seen any God besides Him, who acts for the one who waits for Him.

So, for now, we rest in His promises.  We wait patiently for you.  As one of your Susu's friends said, "All we can do now is PUSH...Pray Until Something Happens!"

I love you, sweet child of mine!
Love always,
Mama

Baby J's Room in Progress

 So, we have no idea when the call might come for us to pick up our sweet Baby J...or to meet his or her birthparent(s).  For now, we are going on with life as best we can.  With the constant thought of possibilities in the back of my mind!  Trust me.  It'll drive you crazy sometimes!  Ha!  I started my new job at The Square Cupboard, and it's keeping me pretty busy.  Football season has started, which brings a new excitement into our home.  And, I can keep myself busy preparing a sweet place for our little one.  I got a little crafty this week, and decided to try out this craft.

So, I stopped by JoAnn's and picked up a foam wreath, yarn, and a piece of felt.  That would be an inexpensive addition to the baby's room, I thought.

Supplies

Tie knot in the back to start.

It's amazing what hot glue will do!

Looking good!

 I'm very happy with the finished product!  Take a look for yourself...

As for the rest of the room...there have been a few additions since I last shared.  Please excuse the stark white walls.  So goes the life of apartment dwelling.  We are still working on the walls, but the main attractions are in place.  Well, all the main attractions except, you know, the baby part!

Crib and curtains!

Dresser, glider, and window painting by Aunt Kristin

 We also had a special delivery last week...

Car seat and stroller!

 Aunt Jenny and Granmomma are working on the crib skirt, and I got a sneak peek of cute accessories in the making from Jenny today!  We are all just chomping at the bit!  The call can't be soon enough, but we know it is in God's time.  Until then, we pray for patience!

Praying for more...