As Christmas Eve Eve ends, I'm getting more excited about everything Christmas.  The babies and I traveled south to visit my parents last week, and we will be here through the holidays.  Russ is coming in after work tomorrow for a few days, and we will celebrate our first Christmas as a family of FOUR!

I have had Smith's birthmother on my heart so much the last couple of weeks...and even more so today.  We are in fairly regular contact now, and I heard from her again today.  She is struggling through this first Christmas.  While we are joyful and excited, she feels anxious and sad.  Struggling through her first Christmas with empty arms while mine are overflowing.

I don't know anything about what she is going through.  I cannot even pretend to.  But I do know the feeling of Christmases with empty arms.  Arms I wanted so desperately to fill.

Christmas can be a very difficult time for birthmothers.  So, even if you do not know a birthmother personally, please take just a moment over Christmas to pray for them.  Pray for Smith's birthmother...and birthfather.  Pray for Millie Janalee's as well.

These precious eyes, tiny noses, sweet smiles.  So so many things I love about my babies came from them.  Their arms are empty, and ours are full.  I am so thankful.  And that word even seems so inadequate.

There's an article floating around Facebook, and I just love it.  I read it at the perfect time as I have prayed over Smith's birthmother today.  None of our lives are perfect...and if your life is so perfect that you have no room for Jesus, then you are missing the point.  "All I want for Christmas is to be broken enough to be the stable and not the inn."

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalms 147:3

Tonight, as many of Santa's elves are busy with last minute preparations, I am praying for all those celebrating a broken Christmas this year.

2014

Happy New Year from our little family to yours!  What a beautiful year it has been!

I am not big on making New Year's resolutions.  I always break them anyway.  I have been inspired by a few of my favorite bloggers to be better.  And do better.  I don't have a specific plan on how I am going to do that.  I have little things I'd like to do of course like read through the Bible from beginning to end and rereading One Thousand Gifts (If you haven't read this book, stop what you are doing and do so NOW!).  I'll start small and take it day by day...being conscious of my mindset as I go.  Choosing JOY for myself and others around me.

2014 is a big year for us.  We have some big changes ahead, and I am excited to see where our path takes us.  Will it bring another little one?  Will it bring new opportunities?  New friends?  Will it bring our final destination after all these years of medical school, residency, and fellowship? 

I don't know the answers to those questions, but I do know this from experience - our 2012 and 2013 experiences - if we pray that our desires are His desires, He can do more than we could imagine.  I'm clinging to that promise that I've seen proven in my own life as we venture into the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable, and the exciting things ahead!

May your 2014 be filled with the blessings only His will can bring!  May we look forward with excitement to what He has planned for us!

No looking back.

Thankful for Answered Prayers

"Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

This is one of the verses I clung to during the 7 years of waiting to become a mother.  Someone encouraged me with the verse.  She was on the other side of the promise, so I trusted her words.  This promise changed in meaning for me over the years too.  My prayers changed from, "God please give me a positive on this test" and "Please allow it to work this time" to...

"Change my heart, Lord.  Change my heart to match Yours.  I cannot stand the hurt anymore, and I want to desire what you desire for me."

It wasn't until my prayers changed that my heart changed.  God's promise is true.  If we take delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts.  But many, like me, misinterpret what the verse is saying.  I thought this meant that He would give me what I'm asking for if I just spend more time with Him and walk with Him and study Him and follow Him. 

That is not the case.

If we truly take delight in the Lord, our hearts will change.  We will begin to desire what He desires.  We will find His plan for our lives.  And OH!  It is immeasurably more than anything we could ask for!

My true desire was for this little blue-eyed sweet girl!  God knew my heart's desire.  He knew I needed her and she would be waiting on me.  He knew the days that would lead up to her birth, and He chose a family for her. 

And now I pray Psalm 17:8 over her...and many others.  I pray that I will continue to pray for His desires...that they will become mine.  I pray that I desire for her what God desires for her.  I pray that He will remind her daily and hourly what a delight she is.  That He takes delight in her!

I know He is able.

Because He's done it before, and He can do it again.  And again.  Even the years of "unanswered prayers" were answered prayers.  I just didn't know it yet.

There are many unanswered prayers that we may never see answered on this side of Heaven, but I trust the One who knows the desires of my heart better than I do.  Because He has proven Himself over and over again.  His plan for our life is immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!

I am thankful.

Thankful for Change

It is Fall.

No matter how many Christmas lights and trees (including my own) you see.  It is still Fall.  The colors that cover the landscape are breathtaking.  Everything about it makes me happy and smiley and feel energized.  As I do at the changing of every season.

I am thankful for change.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..."
Ecclesiastes 3:1

All these physical changes remind me of the changes found in the human spirit.  People change too.  Priorities.  Interests.  Goals.  Behaviors.  Appearances.  Thoughts.  And more...

I am thankful for change.

I sometimes let my mind wander back to my younger years.  [That makes me sound old.  And I'm not.]  Most of us have years of our life we wish we could forget.  There is a year or two of high school I wish I could sweep under the rug and forget.  Most of the time I do.  But then there's a person or a comment made that brings it all back.  And I cringe.

People always say they have no regrets because mistakes make them who they are.  I disagree.  There are some mistakes that helped mold me.  Then there are mistakes that just made me look like an idiot.  Seriously.  And what's funny about the whole thing is all (with the exception of one thing I can think of) the things I regret happened during the small amount of time I was "cool" or in the "popular crowd".  Eleven years later I cringe at even the pressure and desire I felt to be "cool."  And I look at my life now.  I'm anything but "cool," and I certainly don't hang out with the "popular crowd" as seen by the world.  I am surrounded by family and friends who have a love and passion for living their lives for God.  They encourage me, love me for the mess I am, and are genuinely concerned with the ups and downs of my life...and my heart.  My friends and family?  They are way above my "coolness" and way above my character.  And they aren't going anywhere.

I am thankful for change.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-change.html#sthash.IC3whZ1z.dpuf

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-change.html#sthash.IC3whZ1z.dpuf

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-change.html#sthash.IC3whZ1z.dpuf

As I watch my daughter grow and change, I am thankful.  Thankful for the change she will experience when she makes mistakes.  Even mistakes that serve no purpose but to make her look foolish.  I'm not naive enough to think she won't need change.  We all do.  I am thankful to a Father who already knows the days of her life, and I pray that He prepare her heart for His plan.  And I pray that she actively seek His plan.

Because it's perfect for her.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will."  Romans 12:2

Today I am thankful for change.

Determination

We do have one very silly and playful girl on our hands.  I love that we can have fun with her all the time!  And, we also have a pretty determined little feisty thing too!  When she makes up her mind to do something...she pretty much better get to do it.

Or else.  Ha! (And we have certainly lived through some "or elses".)

I mean just look at that determined look in those eyes and her focused face as she pushes her Cabbage Patch baby around the living room.  It's the cutest thing to watch her love her babies, "pat" them (looking more like beating their face to a pulp), and push them around in the stroller.  I snapped one from the back too just because it was cute.

Determination will help you in life, sweet girl.  There will be times that you will walk uphill toward your goal.  There will be times when you have to stand firm in your beliefs.  Determination will keep you focused and working hard.  Working toward the goal God has set for you.

 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galations 6:9

There will be times He will put up walls and close doors on you...

And you'll want to sit and cry.  You probably will.  It's okay if you do.  I did.  During those days of longing for a child, I cried.  I cried hard.  And I fought.  I fought for my own way.  And you might do the same some day.  Because we can't see past our here and now.  We can't see how God is working all these walls and closed doors and tears and frustrations into something far better than we envisioned.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Keep that determination strong and change your path.  Pray about it, and ask God for direction.  Then follow His direction.  He will lead you to something great!  It probably won't be what you originally thought you wanted.

It will be something so much better than you ever even knew was out there!  So much more colorful and playful and fun and rewarding than that closed door!

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! Ephesians 3:20 (Message)

And when you have your heart's desire (whether it's the original desire or something better), you can sit back and praise Him for all He has done.  Looking at all the sweetness in your life that comes through the hard times and determination.

Those are the moments the old hymn finds its way back to your heart.

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

And to take Him at His Word...

"Every Story Whispers His Name"

A week or so ago, I was reading a blog by one of my new favorite bloggers I found through Mississippi Women Bloggers.  Have you joined, by the way?  You most definitely should.

In Kasia's blog post, she mentions a quote from The Jesus Storybook Bible.  On the front cover of this storybook Bible, it says "Every Story Whispers His Name."  Part of the description on Amazon is..."The Jesus Storybook Bible tells the Story beneath all the stories in the Bible. At the center of the Story is a baby, the child upon whom everything will depend. Every story whispers his name. From Noah to Moses to the great King David---every story points to him."

Gosh, how that tagline grabbed my heart.  Oh, that my life and my story may be described in such a way!  Where every story I shared or every blog post I wrote whispered His name.

In the days prior to reading her post, I began working on a project to better my blog.  Working with Mississippi Women Bloggers has really motivated me to blog with purpose for myself and the readers who follow our story.  Our life story.  My journal.  One of the tasks in the series I am working through asks that you create an "elevator pitch."  There is a long detailed Wikipedia definition for this I'm sure.  But, I'll describe it the way I see it.  An elevator pitch is a brief description of your blog that you could tell someone in the few seconds you might be with them on an elevator.  [I totally assumed that's where the word elevator came from]  The challenge was to describe my blog in ONE SENTENCE.  Have you ever tried to do that?  One sentence to describe the years of transformations, writings, events, etc.  To help me along, the series suggested you ask 2-3 friends or family members to describe your blog in one sentence.  So I did.  It was so refreshing to hear how others viewed my little space of the world wide web that I asked even more people...my Facebook followers.

Here are a few responses I received...

• "An inspirational record of a Southern girl leaning on God's promises through her journey of yearning for, receiving, and sharing His blessings."
• "It is a heartwarming read of not only what is going on in your life, but what is in your heart; funny sometimes, tear-jerking sometimes, ALWAYS uplifting, and reminds me to always be grateful no matter what the Lord chooses for me."
• "Spoken from a beautiful heart, Megan lovingly provides a refreshing perspective on every day life; a life that is anything but ordinary." 
• "It's an insight into the familial, spiritual, and personal growth of a wife and mother."
• "Tis So Sweet is a heartfelt Southern blog that shows the love of God, faith in prayer, the road traveled to adoption, and the beauty of knowing just how sweet it is to trust Him."
• "A remarkable journey of God's neverending love."
• "Tis So Sweet, a blog written by a sweet young mother who lives out her faith, will encourage, challenge, and entertain you as you read about her daily life - ups and downs included."
• "An inspirational journey of faithfulness, family, and friends proving God's love and grace for us all on a daily, hourly basis."

Some had trouble coming up with just one sentence.  Ha!

• "Your blog inspires me with every entry!  It reminds me to cherish ever second with my little girl and reminds me how good God is for creating and giving us such perfect gifts to care for and love."
• "One of the highlights of my day! I love watching your little miracle grow up!"

See what I mean by refreshing?!  

I encourage you to do this for your own blog.  You will gain insight into why people choose your blog, why they stick around, and what they think about your writing.  I was blessed by the responses I got from these friends, family members, and even a few I didn't know personally.

As I waited on these responses, I was brainstorming my own words to describe my blog.  How I viewed my blog in snippets, phrases, words, or sentences.  After receiving the suggestions from these friends and family members, I began looking for words that appeared over and over again.  Words I felt very strongly about.  And words I wanted to aspire to.

I first came up with a tagline to describe my blog...

In the Sweet Day by Day

This is a perfect tagline for what my blog is about.  The sweetness of His promises in the daily life of this young mother.  I also love that it's a take off one of the precious old Hymns, "In the Sweet By and By."  Maybe you already realized the influence old hymns have on me since my blog title is one too!  There's nothing quite like them!

Once my tagline was nailed down, I looked through my scribbles and those descriptions from others to come up with my own elevator pitch.  The ONE (long) SENTENCE I would use to describe my little blog space...

'Tis So Sweet is a heartwarming blog written by a young Southern mother who hopes to encourage, challenge, and entertain you as she shares God's love and faithfulness through longing for, receiving, and sharing His blessings in her everyday life - a life that is anything but ordinary."

I told you it was long.  Hehe!  But, I love it.  I've been sitting on it a few days to make sure I still like how it describes my writing, inspires me, and challenges me.  My prayer is that this sentence helps keep me purposeful - even in the everyday.  Praying that this will help my life writings...my story...be a story where "every story whispers His name."

What will your story whisper?

Our Memorial...So That ALL Will KNOW

Yesterday at church, the sermon was taken from Joshua 4 where the Lord told Joshua, after crossing the Jordan, to choose 12 men to take up 12 stones on their shoulders from the middle of the Jordan River and build a memorial at Gilgal.  A memorial to remind generations of the time the Lord dried up the Jordan until the Isrealites could cross...just like he parted the Red Sea 40 years before.  "He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” (vs. 24)

The question posed to us was: WHY?  Why was it so important to make much of God here?  Everyone knew about his power and how He had worked in the past.  Why did God make much of Himself here?  The answer: "He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” (vs. 24)

 Here's what I found interesting as the pastor took us back to a little history of Gilgal (the place where Joshua was to build the memorial).  Gilgal was a major spiritual/holy location.  This was one of the three locations of the annual circuit court.  It continued as a special location where sacrifices were made.  It was the place where Saul was crowned as king.  (I'm sure I've forgotten other important events held there.  Sorry!  I'm not a theologian and I forgot a pen, so I didn't get to take notes.)  These were events that drew large crowds.  And, when those crowds gathered at Gilgal...they saw the memorial of 12 stones that should have reminded them about how God led the Isrealites and dried up the Jordan for them to cross.  When parents and grandparents told this story, they probably could've gone into even more history of the Lord's work...like when he parted the Red Sea.  And when he brought the Isrealites out of Egypt.  This memorial was built so that "all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful..."

What we must wonder is if this actually happened?  Did all the parents and grandparents continue to tell their descendents about what happened and what this memorial reminded them of?  We have to wonder if it did not.  Because, you see, Gilgal eventually turned from a "holy" location to a place of idol worship.

What happened to change the purpose of this location?

It's really speculation, but the pastor brought up his own thoughts.  And his thoughts slapped me in the face, to be honest.  He spoke about how when things become familiar, we tend to lose our reverence and respect for them.  We don't notice them as much.  We fail to see their significance like we once did.  We are left to wonder whether the people became too familiar with the memorial at Gilgal and failed to notice its significance anymore.  Did they fail to continue to tell the stories to their children?  Did they get so used to seeing the 12 stones at Gilgal that they lost respect and reverence?  This memorial was intended to be a sign "so that all the peoples of the earth would know..."  Not just know about God's power.  "So that [they] would know" his power and fear him.  

As the pastor's sermon continued, I began to find my own life lining up...more and more.  What memorials do we have in our lives that we have become too familiar with?  Do you have a memorial that God built "so that all the peoples of the earth would know that the hand of the Lord is powerful..."?  What in your own life is meant to be a reminder of how God has worked in the past, is working, and continues to work?  Have you become so familiar with it that you've lost reverence or respect for it?  Has it become unnoticeable?

A year ago, Russ and I were losing sleep and our appetites as we prayed day and night and dawn and twilight.  A year ago, friends and family members were sending us pictures of them "Praying for More" from all over the world.  Literally.  A year ago, we were trusting completely in God's power to build our family and fulfill the longing of our hearts in His way.

A year ago, God was preparing a memorial for our lives.  A memorial "so that all the peoples of the earth would know that the hand of the Lord is powerful..."  Not just a story of his power that others had heard about.  God's power was in the face of a beautiful blue-eyed baby girl.  God's power was in the weight of a sleeping baby in her mother's arms.  God's power was in the tears and smiles of a new daddy.  God created this memorial - not so others will know about his power - but for "all the peoples of the earth to know that the hand of the Lord is powerful..."

May Russ and I never become a "Gilgal of idol worship".  May we always remember to tell others about how God's power worked in our lives.  May this memorial, in the form of my angelic nearly one-year-old daughter, always be a reminder to our descendents, friends, family, and others..."all the peoples of the earth"...that the hand of the Lord is powerful.

The last part of that verse says "and so that you may always fear the Lord your God."  The verse changes from talking about "all the peoples" to talking about me.  "...And so that YOU may always fear the Lord your God." God created this memorial for others to know his power...and so that I may always "fear" him.  Some words used in translation for "fear" are: revere, worship, serve.  And plain old fear.  Not that we are scared of God.  Perhaps it's a different kind of fear.  A fear that we may defame the name of God.  A fear that we may disappoint Him.  A fear that He is fully capable of condemning me to hell.  But, because of His grace and mercy...I know He will not do that to those who believe in Him and accept Him as the Lord of their life.

Today, I was reading the blog of my college roommate (I labeled Nikki in the first picture collage in this post).  She and her family are anxiously and desperately waiting on THE CALL to go pick up their little boy.  They are adopting a 3 year old little boy from Colombia.  Luis turns 4 this month, and Nikki and her family cannot stand the idea of her son spending another birthday in an orphanage.  And they wait.  Oh, how that blog post took me back to a year ago. 

When we were waiting...

Waiting for our longing fulfilled.  Our memorial God created for His glory.

Waiting on the powerful hand of God "so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that [we] might always fear the Lord [our] God.”

There's power in the waiting.

May She Find Us Faithful...Memorial Day 2013

I hope you and yours have enjoyed a fun-filled Memorial Day!  I also hope you took time to honor and remember those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we may enjoy the freedoms we have been blessed with in our country.  I hope that you took time to pray for those who are risking all for our beloved country.  And perhaps you even took time to pray for a revival in this land.  Our country is full of so much sin and corruption that it can be difficult to watch or listen to.  What will we do for our country?  May our generation be the difference makers.  And may ALL who come behind us find us faithful...

"Oh, may all who come behind us find us faithful

May the fire of our devotion light the way

May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe

And the lives we live inspire them to obey"

Oh, may Millie Janalee find us faithful!!!

"Unplanned Pregnancy"...Perfectly Planned Life

There's been a pit in my stomach ever since I began reading about Gosnell and the horrors in his practice.  A pit in my stomach, because of the graphic detail in which he "ended pregnancies."  Yes, I've heard how it's done before from time to time.  But, this was a named man in a for real trial that actually did these horrible things.  He didn't just "end pregnancies."  He ended LIFE!  Not to mention the lives of the mothers he endangered.

I realize that you all know by now my stance on abortion.  If not, you can look back here.  I am not a politically-minded person, and I don't plan to blog politics here.  What I will not do is stand idly by while innocent lives are being murdered.  Lives.  That's what these babies are.  Not a fetus.  Not tissue.  Life.  Life that is unable to stand up for itself.  Life that depends solely on the woman carrying it.  

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." Jeremiah 1:5

These babies are your children.  Your 10 year old or your 40 year old.  They are lives.  Most of these abortions are "unplanned pregnancies."  Those babies are Millie Janalee.  And I'm guessing that many of you have even had "unplanned" pregnancies as well.  Even if it was a complete joy to find out. 

So, you see, I will NOT stand by and say nothing.  There are heroes out there.  I know one of them.  I know her name.  I know what she looks like.  I've even met her.  Millie Janalee's birthmother is a hero.  Her birthfather is too, for that matter.  These heroes stood against something "unplanned" and knew that this pregnancy may not have been planned...but that this LIFE was perfectly planned.  In case you missed my feelings about birthmothers...you can see that here.  Praise God for their strength and their decision to give Millie Janalee life! 

"...and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you, and I ordained you a prophet unto the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

What many women, I fear, neglect to realize is that there is a better option.  It's not the easiest option.  But it is better.  I've heard women say, "I could never do that to my child!" when offered the adoption option.  And, what I want to scream to the top of my lungs is, "You would never make a plan for your child to live a life you cannot give them...but you will kill them?!"  It makes absolutely no sense to me.  Except that these women may not realize how much better adoption is now.  Open adoptions are the norm these days, and birthmothers are updated all time through letters, emails, and sometimes even meetings.  It is OUR job, as adoptive parents and those whose lives have been touched by adoption, to educate these women on the better option.  It is OUR job to help alleviate the fear and let them know that THEY can choose the plan they desire for their child and the degree of openness they want.  Adoption is beautiful!  It takes courage.  It takes maturity.  It takes a great deal of love.

Once upon a time, Millie Janalee (and your child) was just a blip on an ultrasound.

And now, that "blip" looks like the beautiful, spunky, smiley, blue-eyed little girl I rock to sleep each night.  That "fetus" claps her hands and giggles and squeals.  That "tissue" sticks her tongue out and blows raspberries at us every day.  That "unplanned pregnancy" is full of beauty and has a beautiful planned life ahead of her!  A life God has planned perfectly. 

I love what I read today, and I'm going to use it for myself.  Changing just two letters brightens the lives of my little family of three forever!