I'm waiting on the pictures from the day we introduced Millie Janalee to family.  So, I'll share a little about our life these days until I get them in. 

We have had a big couple of weeks since Miss Millie Janalee was born!  Since we've been home, Millie Janalee has had visitors each day.  It was especially fun to have visits from some of my friends from high school!  These girls are actually all related to us in some way or another...which is funny!  Russ has a large and in charge family tree!  Ha!  I claim them all as friends, though, because that's what we were first.

Me, Millie Janalee, Season, and Hunter

Prentiss, Bowlin, me, Millie Janalee, Mary Elizabeth, and Callie

My oh my!  How things have changed!

Taking Our Love Home

Thursday night was filled with nerves, prayer, excitement, prayer, and more prayer.  We prayed for Millie Janalee's birthparents.  We prayed for protection of our hearts.  We prayed for Millie Janalee.  We just prayed.  Millie Janalee and her birthmother were discharged Friday morning.  Nancy, the pregnancy counselor, was with the birthparents when they left.  I cannot imagine the emotion and sadness.  I grieved for them...and still do.  Nancy has such a special job, and I know she was right there to comfort them as they left their baby girl at the hospital.

Millie Janalee was ready for us to pick her up around 11:30...2 hours earlier than expected!  We were still at the agency signing papers and our photographer wasn't in town yet.  So, Mama inherited the job of photographer!  Ha!  If you know her, you know why this is funny.  She did a great job though...even if the nurses gave her a hard time for taking so many pictures!

We met Nancy in the lobby, and she walked us up to where our baby girl was waiting.  Carla, one of the nurses with a great sense of humor, met us in the hallway.  You can tell from the picture above how excited she was to have her picture taken!

We walked to a back room where the nurses would give us a rundown of the "how-to manual" before taking Millie Janalee home.  It's funny, because I remember very little about what they told me!  Everything was a complete blur!

Waiting on Millie Janalee

Here she comes!

While Carla went through the checklist of umbilical cord care, suctioning, changing her diaper, taking her temperature, etc...we just stood there in awe of this sweet baby girl.  Our girl!  It's still unreal.  Nurses were standing around, Mama was taking pictures, and Nancy watched as we stood there as parents to Millie Janalee.

She was a little fussy, and Carla told us it was probably time for her to eat.  Then we realized she had a dirty diaper.  Enter sweat.  In passing, Carla tells me, "This is great practice." And tosses me a tiny diaper.  I've changed diapers many times.  I've changed nieces' diapers and many when I babysat.  But, I've never changed Millie Janalee's diaper...in front of everyone.  Like it was a test.  Would they not let me take her home if I messed up?!  Ha! 

So, I began.  It would have helped if I had known how much she dislikes being naked.  Because she screamed the whole time, and I sweated more and more.  Finally, the nurse informed me that I was doing great.  Thank you for that, but I sure wish I didn't have an audience.

Once the diaper was changed, Millie Janalee was happy and snoozing again.  We picked up our girl and held her close.  It may not be official yet, but we sure felt like a "Party of Three!"

Our next task was getting our sweet smocked gown on our girl to go home in style.  Once again...we realized that Miss Millie Janalee does not enjoy being naked or changed.  Plus...whoever invented these dresses with tiny buttons on the back obviously didn't mean for it to be done alone.  It was a two-person job.

But, she as OH SO SWEET when we got her tiny hands through the sleeves.  Sweet little bundle of ours!

Carla asked us if we had fitted her in the car seat yet.  Of course, we had not.  So it was time for yet another test while the audience of experts watched on.  I'm glad I wore sleeveless!  Ha!  Millie Janalee was screaming, Russ was trying to twist straps, I was trying to console the baby and help Russ know how to strap her in, and the nurses just watched.  I just knew they were thinking..."These two are taking her home?" 

Once we got our girl strapped in and calmed down, the nurse told us that they usually just carry the babies out.  She just wanted us to be sure she fit in the car seat.  What?!  Nancy, very quickly, informed her that lots of parents carry their babies out in car seats.  So that's what we did.  Thank you, Nancy!  The thought of doing this again in 105 degree July heat made me sweat in all new places!  I'd rather carry my sleeping babe out and have a pleasant loading experience. 

Daddy, Mama, and baby makes THREE!

As Russ went to pull the car around, I looked down at this bundle in my hands.  Wow!  Just like that, we have become parents to this sweet girl.  How great is our God!

Loaded and ready, we headed to the hotel for more pictures...and prepared to meet the family!

We were taking our love home!

Love at First Sight

Since we all expected Millie Janalee to come early, we were on pins and needles for the remaining days and weeks.  Her due date was July 16, but we were sure she would enter this world earlier.  Every doctor's appointment, the agency called us to give us an update.  Still...waiting.  The closer to her due date, the more anxious I became.  Finally, we received the call that gave us an ending date...The birthmother would be induced July 19th if she didn't go before.  Russ and I were already off work the week of Millie Janalee's birth, so we decided to drive on down to Jackson and stay with friends to keep our minds busy and ease our anxiety.  To be honest, I had what I consider to be a nervous breakdown before leaving town.  It's hard to put into words the emotions, feelings, and doubts that flood your mind when you are waiting on news like this.  In Mississippi, birthparents cannot sign papers until 72 hours after the birth, so we knew nothing would be 100% until those papers were signed.  We also knew these birthparents from our meeting and started praying for them by name that day.  We grieved for them, we smiled for the possibility of parenting such a precious angel, and we cried and fretted over the possibility of "what if."  Just like our journey to become parents...it was completely out of our control.  And totally in His hands!

We stayed with Pat and Felicia, dear friends from med school, Tuesday night.  We intended to have a fun night the following night as we waited on the induction date.  However, Millie Janalee had other plans!

"God made everything beautiful in His time." Ephesians 3:11

Wednesday morning around 8:45, Karen called from Bethany and said, "Megan...It's time."  She told us that the birthmother went in at 6:30 that morning and already had her epidural.  We began texting family for prayers.  By 10:00, Karen called back to say that Millie Janalee was born at 8:58.  She was 6 lbs. 13 oz and 20 inches long.  WOW!  That was fast!  Russ and I were in a state of shock and excitement and prayer.  It was such a surreal feeling.  The rest of the day, the birthparents and their families and friends spent the day meeting their sweet girl.  We would wait until Thursday afternoon to meet her for the first time.

Thursday morning, we loaded up our gifts for the birthparents and our nerves.  We left in time to stop by Sonic for a big sweet tea.  That's all I could do to calm my nerves!  Ha!  We met Karen at the agency and rode together.  Walking up to the hospital room, my mind whirled with what I would say...how I would react.  There is no manual to meeting your child for the first time and balancing your emotions and being there for the birthparents.  But, just like our last meeting, it was a-ma-zing!  Russ and I truly feel so connected to this couple, and we have such a respect for their decision.

As we walked in the room, Millie Janalee threw her arms in the air as if to cheer while the birthmother laughed and said, "Yay!  They're here!"  It was a moment only captured in my heart and memory, but one we will never forget.  There...lying on the hospital bed between her birthmother's legs was a perfectly precious angelic baby girl.  My baby girl.  Love at first sight!

We spent the next two hours holding her, staring at her, passing her back and forth, and talking with the birthparents.  We heard all about her waking up at 4:30 am and coming to the hospital.  We heard about her visitors and all the information she had been given from the hospital.  She was making a stack for us.  So surreal.  We listened to the birthfather play the guitar and sing.  Russ played some too. 

We cried overwhelmed with this sweet moment.  A moment very few will experience, but a moment I wish all people could.  I stared at this sweet face while the guitar played in the background.  We took pictures, and the birthmother took some too.  We exchanged gifts and tears and hugs and kind words.  We left the hospital room...leaving that precious angel with her birthparents.  Not knowing if or when we would see them again.  Whispering prayers as we walked down the halls.

The bottom fell out while we were visiting, so we decided to sit with Karen and get a cup of coffee while waiting for the monsoon to pass.  We received word from the pregnancy counselor that the meeting went great, and the birthmom loves us.  Let me say that Bethany Christian Services made our adoption journey more than special.  Karen, Nancy, Peggy, and Margaret made our journey immeasureably more than we could have ever asked or imagined.  They have such a precious job.  They truly touch the lives of ALL of us involved in adoptions.  I cannot express how much this experience has meant to us and our families.  Immeasurably more. 

"God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!"  Ephesians 3:20

The Real World

I think I need to clarify.  I suggested that we were in the real world when we arrived home with our sweet Millie Janalee.  If you made that assumption, I should let you know that we have in no way been in the real world.  Because my mom has been with us since the day we picked up our baby girl from the hospital...and my dad has been here a good bit too.

My mom has been invaluable as I adjust to my new role of mommy.  She calmly talks me through things that nurses make you crazy nervous about.  She knows when I'm about to sweat even though I'm keeping my cool on the outside, and she interrupts my thought process with "You're doing fine."

She's walked me through, shown me, and talked me through things like bathtime, getting formula stains out of clothes, organizing baby drawers and closets, diaper duty, spit up, germaphobe moments, and more.

She and my dad have grocery shopped for us, picked up dinners and lunches for us, carried closets full of old clothes back to the consignment shop, slept on couches and chairs, and been moral support since the day we arrived home.

Today, they left to get back to their "real life."  There were tears...all around!  Now, I'd say we are in the real world.  We will no longer be met in the hallway in the middle of the night with a bottle of formula or able to pass Millie Janalee to Susu or Paw Paw in the morning so I can catch a couple more hours of sleep.  Nope.  Now, it's me and Russ...and this new little person.  Totally dependent on us.

Just like I have always been dependent on my parents.  I'm thinking the future is looking good.  Because I've been taught by example pretty well.  And if not...they are only a phone call away.  Probably checking their phones for the next opportunity or excuse to spend more time with their first grandbaby!  Ha!

Thanks a million, Susu and Paw Paw!  We couldn't have made it through the first week without you!  Can't wait for your next visit!

It's a....

Like I said, it has been a whirlwind month for our family!

On June 19th, I called Karen at Bethany office to ask a few questions and get advice on an issue.  As we were getting off the phone, she asked if she could call me later that night when Russ got off work to talk with us together.  Thinking she just wanted to be sure we were all on the same page, I nonchalantly told Russ to make sure to be home by 6:00.  The last thing we expected was "You were chosen by a couple.  The baby is due in July..."  After filling us in on full background information and facts we needed to know about the birthparents and baby, she asked us to pray about it.  Then she said, "Ask God to work fast.  We'd like to set up a meeting for you to meet the birthparents on Friday." Three days away!  We immediately began praying.  We were thrilled, nervous, prayerful, and overwhelmed. I called Karen on Wednesday to let her know we would love to meet the birthparents on Friday.

Russ and I left town Thursday afternoon for a last minute, incredibly anxious, amazing beginning to an overwhelming journey.  Friday morning, we arrived at the Bethany office full of nerves and questions.  I made sure I knew where all the restrooms were in case I needed to throw up.  Meeting birthparents is nothing you can prepare for.  How do you look into the eyes of parents who want to trust you with their most precious baby.  Indescribable respect and love!  That is what we felt for these two people.  Our meeting was a-ma-zing!  All I can say is...meant to be!  We talked and talked and talked.  We laughed and laughed.    We cried...well Karen and I did.  Ha!  We hugged.  We shared a precious moment. We spent 2-3 hours with Millie Janalee's birthparents, and it was an amazing meeting.  One day, I can talk to Millie Janalee about the day we met her birthparents...and what a wonderful day it was!  I can talk to her about their interests, their personalities, their love for each other and for her.  I immediately felt a love for these two.  Truly special people.  Incredibly special bond.  What an honor to be a part of their life and for them to be a part of ours.  I never could have imagined how special this experience would be...and it was just the beginning.

After our meeting, the pregnancy counselor predicted Millie Janalee would be born July 4 week.  Two weeks away!  Wow!  There was so much to take in.  Everything in adoption is up in the air.  Yes, the birthparents made a plan to place their sweet girl with us.  However, there is always the possibility of changing their minds and deciding to parent.  We knew we didn't want to share with everyone yet, but I also knew we would need some help getting things together in the coming days.  So, we decided to tell our families.  We immediately began trying to plan how we could get our families together and how we would tell them.  Amazingly, everyone was in town at the same time!  We traveled all over town, but we were able to tell our families together the following day.

I wanted to make it special.  It was a completely unexpected, long-awaited surprise!  We stopped by Hobby Lobby before leaving Jackson to pick up black envelopes, chalk, pink ribbon, and white notecards.  I woke up early Saturday morning to print "It's a Girl" cards and tie ribbons.  Our stomachs were in knots!  We still had so many emotions, anxiety, and doubts.  But, we were thrilled with the news and absolutely elated with our meeting with the birthparents.

We stopped by Pickwick first for a short boat ride. During one of our stops in the water, we sprung the news on the Smithites.  They were in shock...surprised...so excited!  Auntie Kristin cried.  Uncie Dustin and Uncie Lee were completely shocked.  Sheila was so excited!

Guesses...

It's a Girl!

Next, we drove into town to my grandmother's apartment.  We did have to ask her to end her card game with her friends.  They were all gone by the time we arrived.  Sorry ladies!  Ha!  My parents met us over there to be surprised with the news that "We were matched!"  Tears were shed around the room.  I'm pretty sure Daddy was still crying when we left!

Guesses

"It's a Girl!"

Lastly, we drove over to Russ's parents' home for a family cookout.  I can't believe everyone was able to be there on such short notice!  As we gathered for the prayer just as we always do, Russ interrupted to share the news.  Tears were shed and everyone was shocked and excited!  We made them wait until after supper to reveal the gender.  It was so hard not to let a "she" or "her" slip during conversation.

Guesses...

Sweet Sam guessed "Boy!"  So cute!

"It's a Girl!"

Did I mention that our families were sworn to complete lock-down secrecy!?  It was painful for everyone, I know.  Russ and I were so anxious and we tried to stay guarded until everything was over.  So, I apologize for so many of you who didn't know anything!  It was for our protection...and for yours.

If you are doing the math...it was one month before we would meet our sweet Millie Janalee!  One month of private family conversations and secret purchases and quiet excitement and nervous tears and desperate prayers.  It was another month of growth and another month for God to show out!

And He did!

One Week

 
Our sweet Millie Janalee is one week old today!  Really?!  I'm contemplating withholding her feedings so she will stay itty bitty!  Ha!  Seriously, it has been unreal how fast the last week has gone!  We have been home with Millie Janalee for 3 nights, and things are getting settled.  You can imagine trying to do nine months worth of organizing and purchasing necessities in such a short time.  Baby girl has adjusted well to being home and sleeping in her sweet bassinet.  We are thanking God for sleepless nights.  We may be running on adrenaline, but I know how much we have prayed and cried for nights like these.  And now they are here!  Thank you, God!

At one week old, our little "Party of Three" has experienced several firsts.  Millie Janalee had her first bath.  Let's just make it known that sweet girl does not, under any circumstances, like being naked.  She does the cry where she squeaks when she breathes in.  I kinda feel guilty saying it...but it is so darn cute!  And, wrapping her little itty bitty body up in that towel is the absolute sweetest!

We have also found a bottle that she likes best.  We've been through our paci collection, and I think we have found her favorite.  She's not too into pacis, but if the timing is right and she is fussy enough...she goes to town on it.  The hospital sent us home on ready made bottles of formula.  We began looking for the powder form (mainly because it saves money and is easier to travel).  We are still trying to decide the verdict on that one.

Farley met his baby sister when we came home.  He sniffed her a little, and he was done.  He's pretty uninterested until she cries.  When she cries, Farley comes running in to check on her.  When we are holding Millie Janalee, Farley wants to sit with us too.  It's pretty cute!  We already see that we will have to start talking to Farley about sharing.  He has found a new favorite place to nap...Millie Janalee's bouncer seat.  Hilarious!  It probably doesn't help that we take pictures of him every time he sits in it.  Ha!

Millie Janalee had several first time visitors this week!  Russ and I have an open door policy these days.  I've heard a few friends say, "I would be a nervous wreck with all these family members and friends around."  Russ and I were talking on the way home from Jackson, and I told him that I felt that Millie Janalee was as much everyone else's answered prayer as she was ours.  So, I am happy to share this sweet miracle with her faithful prayer warriors.  I hope she grows to really know how loved she is!  She will probably never understand the full magnitude of love pouring out from so many friends, family, and many we don't even know!  She is one special little one!  Russ and I are blessed beyond measure!

Auntie Jen

Mrs. Cynthia

Yaya TT

Charlie, Jamie, and a Party of Three

 Auntie Kristin also surprised Millie Janalee with her very first pair of jeggings!  Oh my!  This girl is in for some spoiling, no doubt!  Ha!  Kristin has been in Florida, and besides meeting her at the placement ceremony...this is the first time she has really gotten to spend time with my sweet girl.  We have been so thankful for my family during this first week with Millie Janalee!

Please note that her feet are not really this big!  Ha!  Everyone knows a girl can wear any size shoe as long as they're cute!

Millie Janalee,

This week has changed my life forever!  I am speechless and in awe as I look into your sweet blue eyes and watch all your many facial expressions.  I am thankful for so much these days.  I am thankful for your birthparents for their love for you and their responsible decision to make this plan for your life.  I am thankful for friends and family and the outpouring of love, congratulations, sweet sentiments, tears, and shared joy this week!  I am thankful for the waiting days...all 6 years of them!  I am SO INCREDIBLY thankful for those days, because they led me to you!  I knew I would feel that way, but it was so hard to wait.  Today, I now know that God was preparing us for you.  God was preparing your story to touch hundreds of others.  So many have followed your story and have been touched by your sweet life.  God has used you in such big ways, sweet girl!  I cannot wait to see what else he has in store for you!  You will change your little world one day.  You have already changed mine.

I love you,
Mama