...continued from yesterday's interview and my guest post on Life with the Bonhams.  Remember to visit Nikki's blog to see more interviews about adoption.

• Do you have any advice for those who are interested in adoption?  This is a book in and of itself. Ha! My biggest advice would be to truly pray over this decision. Adoption is a calling, for sure. It is NOT a plan B. It is either a plan A or a new plan A. Yes, most adoptions are pursued by those who cannot have children. Many times, it is through those trials that God reveals His plan. That’s okay. But, it is also a calling for those who have children. My practical advice would be to talk with as many adoptive families as you can. Research the types of adoptions, the agencies, or other channels of adoption. Get a good grip of which adoption avenue is best for you and your family. We had done this. When we got to the orientation meeting, we pretty much already had all that information from our research. I didn’t consider the meeting a waste of time, though. I considered it a confirmation that we had done the right thing in researching.

•  What about advice for people who want to be supportive of adoption?  First of all, let me say that women who are in the adoption process are excited. They are “expectant mothers.” However, most people don’t view her that way. The public doesn’t view it that way because her belly is not growing, there are no showers, the sex is unknown, and the due date is undetermined. If you are wanting to be supportive, remember to treat her as the “expectant mother” that she is. And, by all means, be thoughtful of what you say! I have seriously been knocked to the floor by some of the comments people actually say without thinking. Remember that this family is praying, hopefully, for the child God chooses for their family. They are NOT going to “get a baby.” No supermarket pickup is going to happen. They are NOT going to be fake parents, as opposed to the birthparents so many refer to as “real parents.” Families pursuing adoption are very excited about THIS child, so please do not tell her you are praying for her to have a “real child” too. Adoptive children are real…last I checked anyway. There is no formula to saying the right thing. It’s as simple as thinking before you speak. Educate yourself on adoption by reading books, blogs, and asking questions to adoptive families who are open to answering them. You should understand that not all adoptive families are interested in answering those questions, and that is okay. No one asked you the details you experienced when giving birth, and they don’t have to give you details of their adoption either. I am very open, and there are many others who are too. Just understand that some families consider it personal. If you want to support families in a tangible way, there are things you can do. Domestic adoption through our agency in our state ranges from between $8,500-$18,000. International adoption can be between $20,000-$50,000 when you add up travel expenses, etc. That is a lot of money for a couple trying to start a family. And, medical insurance doesn’t cover this like it would a birth. Be aware of the financial burden of adoption. Some couples have fundraiser opportunities. You can participate that way by purchasing whatever they are selling, or you can become a “salesperson” for them. Encourage others to support their fundraising efforts too. There is always the option to donate to their adoption fund. Russ and I received an unexpected blessing in the mail a couple of weeks ago. It was the note that touched us the most. It said, “Please use this check toward your adoption or for a night out at a nice restaurant.” Of course, we put it straight into our adoption account. But, her thoughtfulness of letting us know she simply wanted to support us now if we needed a night out. She just wanted to show her support. And it touched our hearts AND helped with our adoption costs. The most important way to support adoptive couples is to PRAY! Prayers are the most effective way to help families at any stage in the process. Pray and pray without ceasing. Let them know you are praying for them. :)

•  What has been the most encouraging thing someone has said/done?  Russ and I began selling t-shirts to support our adoption. We asked people who bought a shirt to use it as a reminder to pray for three things every time they wore it or washed it. We asked for prayers for Baby J, our baby’s first mother, and for our patience. It has meant so much to see the huge support we have had. The most encouraging thing about this fundraiser is when we receive pictures from our “prayer warriors” praying for more from all over the world! People send us pictures of them wearing their shirts from all over. Some send pictures from their living room, while some send pictures of them wearing their shirts in Hawaii. It is truly a sacrifice of time and thoughtfulness for them to take those pictures and send them to us. This has been one of the most encouraging things. We really see how people are thinking and praying for our family…not only when they purchase the shirt, but long afterwards. Some prayed for our adoption journey in Haiti, Costa Rica, Air Force base, kitchens, the beach, feeding donkeys, etc. We have loved it! Another encouraging thing is the unexpected surprises for this “expectant parents.” Our families gave us a Mother’s Day shower when we first started. Friends have sent care packages in the mail with sweet notes letting us know how excited they are to meet Baby J. We love sweet baby gifts randomly given just to let us know we are not forgotten or alone. People haven’t forgotten we are “expecting.” These thoughtful acts have been the most encouraging.

•  Now that you are in the process yourself and see it from a deeper perspective, what are ways that others could be involved in orphan/adoption care and support that they might not have thought of?  There are lots of ways to get involved in orphan/adoption care. Most agencies give their families the opportunities to apply for grants. These grants are funded from ordinary people who have donated to the fund through the agency. This is always a great way to support families…especially if you don’t know anyone personally going through the adoption process. The staggering thing is the number of children in the foster care system. One thing I’ve learned about this system is that it is a mess! I’ve watched sweet friends of mine over the last couple of months deal with the system trying to take care of these sweet children they are trying to adopt. First of all, their foster care situation was horrible. They were passed around, mistreated, and took care of each other at times. It blows my mind how different the process is for foster parents vs. adoptive parents. I knew the process we went through, and I couldn’t even imagine how this particular foster mother was approved to do it. Good, Christian foster families are needed in a big way. I am so thankful for those friends I have who have committed fostering children, who are really “orphans.” These children need to feel loved and like they belong to someone. We need families willing to sacrifice some comfort and convenience to help take care of these children until a forever family is found for them…maybe it will be you. Who knows how God will change your heart over a time of caring for someone! Listen to Him as you try to support orphan/adoption care. Ask around. Ask agencies what their needs are. They will tell you!

•  Any adoption resources that you have found helpful and would like to pass on?  I have read several books that have proved to be helpful for me. Dear Birthmother, Before You Were Mine, and The Whole Life Adoption Book are some of my favorites. There are MANY adoption blogs out there. It really depends on the type of adoption you are wanting to learn more about: international, foster-adoption, domestic, adopting through DHS, etc. There are blogs that cover all of these. Ask around or search online.

I hope some of these answers have been helpful for those who want to understand adoption better. Maybe it has given some practical ways to support adoption. Not everyone is called to adopt, but we are all called to support adoption!

 ”Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27

National Adoption Month Interview

In honor of National Adoption Month, my college roomie, Nikki, is posting a series of guest posts from those whose lives have been or are being touched by adoption.  I cannot wait to read everyone's point of view from the various types of adoptions and different points in the process.  Join in here and you can read more from adoptive families too.  You can see my guest post here.

Below is my guest post for Nikki's adoption series...

My husband and I have been together since 2000.  Wow!  That sounds like so long ago, and it feels like just yesterday!  We were married in 2005, and we began trying to grow our family in 2006.  At first it was just as simple as "seeing what happened."  It became a little more of a concern after a year or so.  Over the next 3-4 years, I endured a series of surgeries, tests, bloodwork, oral medication, injections, and hormones.  It was the summer of 2009, I think, when we decided to take a break from fertility treatments.  We were physically and emotionally drained.  I also felt spiritually drained.  I felt frantic trying to make something happen when I knew God could simply breath a pregnancy into existence if he chose.  We had decided that we would pick the treatments back up in the late fall of that year.  It never happened.  We were at peace with our lives.  We were enjoying our lives again.  We were happy.  Yes, we still longed for children.  Yes, we still prayed for God to intervene every night.  But, we were at peace with His will.  It was around this time that I FINALLY began to pray the very prayer we should all be praying.  I began to ask God to align my desires with His will.  Because I knew that without that change of desire, my heart would continue to break every time a friend called to tell me she was pregnant.  I would continue to avoid baby showers.  I would continue to have emotional roller coaster rides.  I sincerely wanted my desires to be changed to match His will.  I knew being in the center of His will is the absolute best place to be.  I heard a song during our worship service last week that gripped my heart.  It was my prayer, has been my prayer, and will continue to be my prayer.  However, this song put to words what I could not.  It simply said, "Keep me in Your will, Lord, so I won't be in Your way."  You see, I began to feel like I was frantically trying to grow our family all by myself.  Like a toddler yelling, "No!  Me do it!"  It's quite silly, really.  My heart began to change.  Russ and I had researched adoption for about two years, but it had never been a reality we saw in our immediate future.  But, my desire had changed.  I began to daydream about our gotcha day, our birthmother, and the tangible example adoption sets for what God has done for us.  This was the beginning of a prayerful, thoughtful, and exciting decision to pursue the miracle of adoption.

• How did you know you were called to adoption?  Russ and I came to this decision at different times and in different ways.  I've heard it is very common for a wife to initiate the conversation.  So, I will speak only for myself here.  Over a period of time, when my desires were changing/changed, I knew that I could not have changed.  I had dreamed of nothing more than to give birth to a baby, cute ways to tell the family we were expecting, cute ways to tell friends/family the sex of our baby, and the crowd of family at the hospital.  I, like most of you, dreamed of those things all my life.  There was no way that I could have just changed my mind.  Nope.  That was God.  He literally changed the longing of my heart.  I no longer yearned for a growing belly.  I no longer longed for positive pregnancy tests.  My heart was longing for something different.  I began to see all the beautiful things about adoption.  I began to see long term effects of adoption on others, myself, and a child who couldn't possibly know how loved he/she already was.  
• What type of adoption are you pursuing and why?  My husband and I decided to go with Bethany Christian Services, a private adoption agency, to pursue domestic adoption.  We had previously researched international adoption for the previous two years.  We talked with a few agencies about facts, figures, expenses, and timelines.  There are many good things about international adoption...one of those pros is that a timeline can usually be estimated because you are pretty much on a "waiting list" and you know what number you are.  There were some things about international that are a little more difficult: the cost is much higher, travel time (range from 3 days-6 weeks in another country) to pick up your child, and unknown background information.  Really, our biggest holdup was financial.  I had previously been afraid to pursue domestic adoption for a number of "Lifetime movie" reasons.  However, after talking with various agencies, my fears were eased.  We prayed over the options and researched as many things as we could.  We made a decision based on our peace of mind and what we felt God calling us to.  
• Where are you in the process?  We began our process in February of this year...February 19th was the actual day that we really both saw our plan revealed.  We sent our preliminary application with a $50 fee on March 8, and we attended an orientation meeting on April 15.  Once the preliminary stuff was out of the way, we sent in our first big investment of $600 with our formal application on April 27.  Because the number of waiting families was increasing, we waited about a month before we were assigned a case worker on May 26.  After this, our home study process went by quickly because of our readiness to complete the paperwork.  The home study process is really in the hands of the adoptive parents as they have to turn in quite a bit of paperwork.  We did take nearly a month to complete our self study, but we had two sudden deaths in the family and a family vacation during that time.  Once we got the ball rolling again, it was super fast!  Our first home study visit was June 3, where our case worker conducted a joint interview.  Next, we took time to fill out self studies and complete official paperwork.  My individual interview was on July 12, and Russ's was on July 15.  Our home visit was immediately after on July 16, where we turned in our $1350 check for our home study fee.  Our case worker was so great to fit us in as soon as possible!  We were officially approved on August 5.  So, now, we are simply waiting for a phone call.  It could be today, or it could be two years from now.  Only God knows, and we are trusting in His timing.
• What is it like "to wait?"  Well, it depends on the day.  Today, waiting is great.  It is a time when I can prepare at my own pace and pray for our little one and the angel who will carry, or is carrying, our Baby J.  It is a time of excitement and unknowns.  That's today.  Now, if you ask me on a "bad day," I would probably sound a little different.  Some of these "waiting days" have been filled with sleepless nights, dreams of a baby without a clear picture of a face, anxiety, worry, depression, and tears at times.  Usually those bad days come after seeing another family with a placement.  Although, I am always very happy for those families...I am very sad that it wasn't us.  It doesn't take long for me to become thankful.  I realize that if that placement had been ours, we wouldn't be able to match with the Baby J God has chosen for our family.  Unlike pregnancy, we have no idea when our baby is due.  We may have weeks, months, or years to prepare a baby's room.  We took the approach of keeping busy by preparing Baby J's room.  So, I guess you can say that waiting is difficult, exciting, depressing, and a roller coaster.  Those emotions sound very much like the emotions I felt when trying to get pregnant.  But, these feelings come with a greater sense of HOPE.  In the end, I know God will bless us with the child(ren) he has chosen for us.  I can't think of anything better!
• What are you most excited about?  Most nervous about?  Oh my!  There are so many things I'm excited about.  I suppose, at this moment, I'm most excited about THE CALL.  I dream of what I'll be doing at that moment, what the caller will say, how far along the mother would be or if the baby is already born, and how I will tell our families.  I'm probably most nervous about the same thing.  In one single phone call, our lives could be forever changed.  I'm also VERY nervous about meeting the birthmother, if we are afforded that opportunity.  How in the world do you tell someone how incredibly grateful you are for her loving plan she is making for her child?  How in the world do you celebrate at the same time she is losing a part of herself??
• How has the whole process been for you/your family emotionally? Were there any emotional surprises?  I alluded to this in the previous question.  However, I would say that there have been so many emotions during this journey.  In the beginning, we were filled with fear of the unknown, fear of what others would think about our decision, and the fear of actually giving over all control to God.  I know that sounds silly...especially since He was in control the whole time.  But, we literally quit trying to get in the way.  We gave it all over.  Then, we were filled with excitement as so many of our friends/family began to rejoice with us.  We were overwhelmed with the love we felt.  We knew that this was God's will.  There were emotional surprises too.  Throughout the process, we have also been hurt, offended, and disgusted at some of the comments and misunderstandings about adoption.  These are always much harder when they come from loved ones.  It took some time to realize that many people simply don't understand adoption, and we began to use this time as a chance to educate others through our journey.  Adoption is beautiful! 

To be continued.....

MSU vs. Bama

For those of you who don't know...last week, the Smith family made a historical decision.  Russ traveled to our hometown so that we could join up with the family for the Homecoming game against UT Martin.  I was in Jackson with Mama and Kristin for Mistletoe.  However, after much arduous debate, we opted to stay at home so that we could watch the LSU-Alabama game.  Yes.  We did.  No, it wasn't the second coming.  No, no one died.  It was just a decision that had to be made.  Whoever decided to play our dinky little game at the same time as the "biggest" game on television had lost their mind.  And we weren't happy about it.  So, we set up two television sets in the living room...the big screen was showing the big game, while the smaller one allowed us to keep up with our Bulldogs.

Now, we are back on track with our tailgating festivities! 

Saturday, my beloved Dawgs hosted the Crimson Tide in a little game of SEC football.  It was a gorgeous day!  Cool, windy, and completely sunny!  We set up around lunchtime with a minimal spread of food for the day.  It was all we needed.  Daddy and Dustin walked over to the Hump to watch State's basketball game.  The rest of us relaxed, visited, and watched some football on our TV.

Sherra and Mama

Russ and I took a stroll to the bookstore before the big crowd made its way there.  We finished up a little Christmas shopping and picked up a few necessities for the day.

Me and Russ

A full day of relaxation in the fresh air was a little unfamiliar!  We didn't know what to do! Ha!  There were many laughs, a good bit of silliness, visitors, and yummy snacking.

Sisters

Lee and Kristin

Smithites

This family never travels unprepared!  We brought entertainment as well!  So, there were constant games of cornhole played throughout the day.  I lost quite badly during my one game.  But, it appears that Kristin and Daddy are quite the match.

Me....losing

Daddy...battling

Kristin....trying to defend her title

No Smith tailgate is ever complete without a slew of visitors...regulars and new ones!  We love visiting with friends, especially those we haven't seen in a while.  It brings Russ and I back to our "college days."  It's hard to believe it's been six years since I graduated college!  Craziness!

Zach, Seth, and Russ

Lee, Matt, and Russ

Kendall, sweet Ella Kate, and me

Jordan and Dustin

The pregame activities incited quite the excitement!  A speech by Coach Mullen, cheering from the team, and an explosive defensive game plan brought the fans to their feet!  Our defense played one fantastic game!  Our offense struggled...as usual.  But, the possibilities of actually pulling ahead were too much to keep me in my seat.  Well...that and the fact that the girl behind us threw up on Dustin and Jordan.  I just wasn't feeling it.  I'd rather stand to make sure I cheered the team on and steered clear of any grossness.  Ha!  Don't worry.  I told you we never went anywhere unprepared.  Daddy whipped out his garbage bags after we covered everything with paper towels.  All was well.  But, I sure hope the guys washed their clothes several times that night!

We loved catching up with two more sweet friends we haven't seen in a while.  Jennifer and Jaysen had tickets just below us and joined us for halftime.  We sure do miss all our college peeps!  We must get together soon!  Before all their kids get too old and busy!

Jaysen, Jennifer, me, and Russ

Well, I'm sure you know by now that we didn't pull of a win.  In fact, the final score looks even worse than it actually was.  Bama scored twice pretty close to each other in the fourth quarter, and we lost our edge defensively.  Exhausted, I'm sure!  We were cheering for our defense to force a turnover and try to score for us.  It seemed to be the better plan, since our offense was taking it easy.  Oh well.  Another Saturday, another gameday!  Next week...Arkansas!

I still believe!

Praying for More...

Baby J's "Susu" and "Aunt Jenny" Praying for More at Merry Marketplace

Thankful for Blogging

Today I am thankful for blogging.

My reasons for blogging have changed over the years, but my love of blogging is constant.  Blogging, for me, has become the most amazing journal of my life, my thoughts, our struggles, our successes, and a photo album full of story-telling pictures.

I began blogging as a fun way for family and friends to keep up with our daily life when we lived four hours away.  It wasn't long until I shared our infertility story and realized just how many readers I actually had!  These readers became my support group.  They would "listen" to me ramble about daily nuances and support me when I was reflective on my longing to become a mother.  Soon, my readers became a special part of my life because they knew things about me that I never would have verbalized.  They were reading a "window to my soul," as one sweet friend called it last week.  Since we began our adoption journey, blogging has become even more than a support group and sharing of our life.  My blog has become a place where our prayer warriors can check in to see exactly what our prayer needs are, where the process is, what our struggles are, and watch as pictures of prayer warriors grace the pages time after time.  This blog has become a letter to Baby J and precious reminders of our journey.  This blog is my outlet.  It is my little area of internet space to say what I like, how I like, and feel safe doing so.  This is my own little corner of the world wide web to share what I know to be true.  To show others how God has worked, and continues to work, in my life.  This is my little space to share God's story for us as we pursue this adoption.  This is my little page where I can encourage others going through similar trials, excitement, and waiting.  Bottom line...this is my space to speak.

One of my favorite parts about blogging (and any blogger will probably agree) is the precious comments our readers leave.  As much as we'd like to be content with writing for ourselves, there is just something so nice about knowing others are reading.  We have opened our blog up to anyone.  My blog is not just for family and friends.  This blog is not even only for prayer warriors.  My blog is open to anyone who enjoys reading it.

I've made one little change to my comment section.  When you comment, you may notice that your comment will be moderated before it is published.  This simply means that I will have to click the "okay" button before it's published on the blog.  This is helpful for several reasons: I will make sure to see every sweet comment (I don't want to miss a single word from the precious readers) and I will be able to keep my blog purposeful.  There are SO many things that are welcome here.  Your fun anecdotes and life stories after a fun family blog post are always welcome.  Your encouraging words and prayers and praises are always welcome.  Your confirmations are always welcome.  These comments let me know that I'm not alone.  They let me know that I'm still doing okay.  That being said, I want to let you know that your disagreements are also welcome here.  We don't all have to agree to love each other and enjoy blogs.  Disagreements and discussion help us understand each other.  Healthy debate is good for the order, I think.  "Anonymous" comments are welcome!  I know that many of my sweet family and friends don't have Google accounts and can't link up.  That's okay.  Comment anonymously and sign your name! 

Now, given my purpose for blogging and the tone of my blog, I do have one little thing that is not welcome here.  Lengthy "anonymous" debates filled with sarcasm, character attacks, snide comments, and undercutting remarks (especially when it comes to our choices in our adoption journey) will absolutely not be welcomed here.  The points of debate are welcome...not the other "stuff."  If, for some unknown reason, you feel like you just must tell me everything you think in those unflattering terms...I have my email address on the sidebar for you to use.  I would very much like to be able to get back in touch with you after such a monologue.  I would like a chance to not only debate my viewpoint, but also to let you know exactly what your words meant to me.  I would like to, hopefully, get a better understanding of your intent because I like to hope that your intent wasn't to be sarcastic, snide, and undercutting.  I like to hope that your intentions were pure, but your word choice was poor.  So, if those comments are left anonymously, especially, they will not be welcomed here and will not be published.

I am so thankful for this little space that I have been able to use for the last three years.  I am so thankful to meet new friends, encourage others, learn from others, and love others through this venue.  I am so thankful that my blog, unlike Facebook, is a site that one must choose to read.  I am thankful that those who enjoy our blog can choose to read it and join our journey.  I am also thankful that those who don't like this blog can choose not to read it.  I am thankful for how supportive you have all been on my openness throughout our struggles and high points.  I am thankful to have this "journal" printed out as a life story that I'm sure our kids and grandkids will LOVE, laugh over, and talk about all the time.  I love that when I forget something, I can look it back up on the blog to find the answer.  I am SO incredibly thankful for blogging!

And, I am thankful for my readers!  You keep me going.  If you are a blogger, take a minute to thank your readers for their support, comments, and for joining you in your life journey. Thank YOU!

Thankful for Freedom

I am thankful.

Today I am so thankful to live in a country where men and women fought and lost lives all for me to have freedom.  These men and women fought so that our God-given freedoms were not taken from us.  I'm forever grateful for precious friends who have served, or are serving, in our military.  I am thankful for their families who sacrifice as well.  Take time today to thank those who have fought tirelessly to keep our freedoms!

I am thankful, on election day, that I have the freedom to vote how I choose.  I am thankful that I have the freedom to speak out how I choose.  And, I am thankful to be able to debate topics without condemnation, but with facts and questions.  I am thankful for those who have listened, even without agreeing.  I am thankful for those who have taken a stand regardless of popularity, ridicule, name-calling, and fear.  I am thankful for those sweet friends who have taken a stand respectfully - full of facts, faith, and a strong desire to do the will of their Father.  I am thankful for friends earnestly searching out the facts to be as informed as possible.  I am thankful for the debates I have encountered, because through them I have been forced to research even more.  I am thankful that I am an INFORMED voter.

I am thankful for His Word that guides me in my decisions.  I am thankful that I was raised to stand up for what is right unashamed.  I am thankful for friends who challenge me to view all things, not just the "hot topics," through the lens of scripture. I am also thankful for those who don't condemn me for doing so.  I am thankful for friends who challenge me to accept the consequences of choosing what I know to be right. 

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong." 1 Corinthians 16:13

But, most of all, I am thankful that my Creator...the One who creates life...is bigger than any of these issues facing us today.  I am thankful that I can leave all the "what ifs" in His hands and TRUST that He has control.  I am thankful that my past experiences have taught me more and more to trust Him and His will.

My prayer today is that all pro-life voters, no matter what the outcome, will come together for the lives of the unborn.  I pray that those who vote "no" will work as hard for "better" legislation as they have pushed against this one.  I also pray that those of us who vote "yes" will continue the fight just as much as we have throughout this debate and accept the responsibility that comes with our YES vote!

Separated...But Still Praying for More

Today I'm thankful for sweet friends and prayer warriors like Holly and Dale.  Russ and I couldn't have made it this far without you all, and we cannot make it to the end without you either.  We are so thankful and overwhelmed by your generosity, support, prayers, and positive comments throughout our journey.  I know I use the word "overwhelmed" a lot, but that is truly how we feel!  We LOVE getting all your pictures of you and your loved ones "praying for more" from all over the world.  We have our book started with all your pictures to show Baby J.  There is really no better way to show him/her how much love and prayers there are for him/her!  So...thank YOU!

Military mommy Praying for More

Praying for More at the Air Force Base

We are so thankful for YOU!  May God bless you just as He has blessed us through you.

3 Months

Sweet Baby J,

Well, today marks three months since your daddy and I have been approved to adopt you.  I know this sounds like it has been just a number of days, but I must tell you that it seems like an eternity!  We know that the day we meet you, the difficult days will simply melt away.  We will be so overcome with love and thankfulness, I'm sure the hard times will not even cross our minds.

I haven't shopped quite as much for you this past month.  I did order you one cute sock monkey, and I LOVE him!  I hope you love him too!  Your room smells so good, by the way.  I found the long lost Island Margarita Wallflower I've been looking for.  Ha!  I know the name doesn't sound very much like a baby, but it is delightful!

This past month has been a month of great friends and prayer warriors!  We are forever grateful for the tens and hundreds of people praying for you, praying for your birthmother, and praying for us.  How do I know they are praying?  Well, we constantly receive texts, emails, messages, letters, fun gifts, and we still have new people ordering shirts!  Just last week, your "Aunt" Felicia and Pat sent us a fun package in the mail!  Felicia knows my love of Candy Corn, so she sent me a king size bag.  She also knows how obsessed I am with anything owl, so she sent a cute owl Wallflower plug, and they sent you a precious owl pacifier clip.  I love it!  For an October touch, they added a cute kitchen towel for fun!  Trust me...I will introduce you to the Robbins very soon after you join our family.  They are such a precious part of our lives and your journey.  We love them dearly!  And they love YOU!  If you are a boy, you will probably be best buds with Toby and Nate.  And, if you're a girl...well, we might just try to arrange a marriage with one of those little boys!  I can ONLY imagine the fun family holidays that would ensue!  Ha!

We haven't seen any placements online this month, so that helps keep me sane I think.  I sure would love for the next placement to be you.  I also know that God's timing is perfect, and I choose to wait on Him.  My heart is aching for you in my arms.  My eyes are dying to see your sweet face.  And my dreams are full of mystery when I dream about you, because I can't get a clear picture of your face. 

I know I tell you every month, Baby J, but hurry home!  We are ready to meet you, hold you, kiss you, teach you, and love you!  We pray for you every day...several times a day.  We pray for the angel who is carrying you, or will carry you.  We pray that you are growing strong (or will grow strong).  We pray that your first mother will allow the Lord to guide her as she chooses your forever family.  And, we pray that He use us to minister to her or comfort her however she may need.  We pray that you always feel the respect and pride for her that we already do.  I'm sure you will, because we will teach you to be proud of her decision. 

November is such a wonderful time.  It's a month that we all focus on giving thanks.  It is also National Adoption Month.  So, today, I'm especially thankful for adoption.  And, I'm thankful for your journey.  I never could have imagined such a wonderful journey!  God truly is able to do immeasurably more!  This journey has taught us so much...most importantly, it has taught us how to be totally dependent on Him and trust His plan and timing.  Adoption also gives such a tangible picture of what our Heavenly Father has done for us...adopting us into His family for eternity!  I'm so thankful for this experience.  I hope you will feel the same as you grow.

The holidays are coming soon, and I can't help but wonder if you will be here to enjoy our family celebrations this year.  I'm up for it!  Are you?  For the record, we would LOVE to welcome you into our family traditions this holiday season!  So, come on, little one!  We are waiting!  And, while we wait...we will trust God's timing. 

 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:14

Love,
Mama

Birthmothers

Today I'm thankful for birthmothers.

Birthmother (burth-muhth'-er) n. a person's mother related biologically rather than by adoption.

During this month that we place an emphasis on thanksgiving, I want to make it very clear how thankful Russ and I are for birthmothers.  Not just the woman who is or will carry our child...but all birthmothers.  Have you ever stopped and considered for a moment what it must be like for birthmothers?  No?  Well, let's take a few seconds to consider a birthmother's journey.

Every case is certainly unique, but every birthmother shares one decision (or more).  These women, who for whatever reason, make a huge decision.  Their first decision is one of LIFE.  These women are courageous enough to choose life for the little person growing inside of them.  I cannot tell you how much respect I have for these women and their support systems who encourage and support throughout this selfless decision.  Birthmothers have made a life-changing decision to carry this baby for nine months.  These women will feel each time that child kicks, moves, squirms, and hiccups.  These women will grow, over time, out of their regular clothes.  These women will face gossip and ridicule.  These women will make a plan for their child.  These women...really not much different from you and I.  Some of these women made one mistake, and it changed their lives.  Have you ever made a mistake?  I'm guessing the answer is yes.  Then there are women with a house full of children, and she is barely able to care for them financially...much less another one coming into the home.  Some women make a decision to protect their child from the environment they are living in.  Some women have become pregnant through a tragic event such as rape or incest.  Each of these women make a decision.  Make a plan.  For their child.  This child that may share their eye color, hair color, nose, and attitude.  Can you imagine that decision?

If these women chose the "easy" route simply to "get rid of" this child, I'm quite sure they would not have chosen LIFE.  These women, expectant mothers, make SELFLESS decisions to make a future plan for their child to live a life they could not provide for one reason or another.

More women, today, make a second decision.  Most adoptions, now, are open to some degree.  These women look through profiles, books, letters, and videos to choose the family for their child.  Can you imagine that decision?  Brantley, at For This Journey We're On, recently created her will for their sweet daughter.  While trying to make the decision about who would be best left to care for their child in the event of their death, she couldn't help but think about her daughter's first mother and the decision she made to choose a family for her child.  Possibly never to see her again.  Sometimes to get updates through the mail.  At times, to visit.

Let's take a moment to give thanks for these selfless, courageous, and beautiful women who not only make a selfless decision to give LIFE and face the difficult decision of choosing just the right family, but let's take a moment to give thanks for these women who give HOPE to so many families waiting to love on their children forever.  God truly can work all things to the good of those who love Him.  I want to shout it from the rooftops!  I'm so incredibly grateful for these women and the decisions they make.  Not only to provide a future for their child, but to offer such a gift to families who long for a child from the deepest parts of their heart.  Let's take a moment to give thanks for these women who lie in their hospital beds after hours of labor and face the pain of knowing she will soon hand her precious newborn over to someone else.  Because of her love for her child.  Such a gift.  Such a sacrifice.  Such a blessing.

Take a moment, if you know a birthmother, to thank her for her sacrifice, selflessness, and love for her child.  Thank her for me.  It is because of women like her that I have hope.  If you don't know a birthmother, maybe you could take time to thank God for birthmothers and pray for those facing these decisions right now.  Pray for God to comfort them, guide them, and give a peace to them as they journey this road.  I know I pray those things over our birthmother.  I truly want God's will, because I know it's the best place to be (even though it can be hard).  I pray that our birthmother allow God to guide her as she chooses a family for her child.  I pray that she feel peace with her decision.  And, I pray that she feel comforted by Him and those around her.  Take a moment and pray the same.

With Amendment 26 looming around the corner, we have raised much public discussion on the topic of abortion.  One lady made a great statement that if we mothers and families will band together to support these women facing these decisions and glorify the adoption option, abortion might become less of an issue in our country.  It seems that so many fail to recognize the honorable role birthmothers play in the life of each adopted family.  Recognize that today, and give thanks.

Thankful

Well, I can't believe it!  October came and went.  I mean, really...where did the time go?  Of course, I'm happy time keeps flying by because each day that passes means we are one day closer to meeting Baby J.  And I know when we meet him or her, we will be begging for time to slow down. 

It's officially November!  A month of thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is so often overlooked between the fun of Halloween and the excitement of getting ready for Christmas.  But, I love how Thanksgiving is a day set aside specifically for everyone to think about what they have to be thankful for.  Shouldn't every day be a day of thanksgiving?  YES!  If you are in a rut, and you are having a pity party or are going through a blah time, I encourage you to get encouragement on giving thanks.  One Thousand Gifts is one of the greatest, life changing, and thought changing books I've ever read.  If you haven't read it, please do so.  Ann Voskamp's writing style is a little different from most things I read.  But I LOVE how her style forces me to really pay attention and dig in to the everyday miracles around me.  It pretty much just thumps you in the ear (like your mom used to do during church) and wakes you up to the idea of being thankful and content right where you are.

I could certainly use a little thump right now.  I somehow got stuck in a pity party as we wait aimlessly on Baby J.  And, when I say "aimlessly" I mean no date to aim for.  It could be tomorrow.  It could be a year from now.  We just have no idea.  Yes,  I know that God knows the perfect time.  I know that.  I still wish that he would share some of that information with me!  Ha! So, I think I'll pick this book back up and get a good old fashioned thump in the ear.  I need to stop pouting and live fully right where I am!

While I'm giving thanks, I'll start with a view of our refrigerator at the moment.  This is what is covering my fridge today.  Babies.  All these precious babies born in the last few months.  Some surprises, some prayed for and longed for, some planned for, and some miracles.  All of these babies are pictures of HOPE for us.  I join with these sweet families giving thanks for their precious lives. 

So, today, I'm choosing to be thankful.  I'm thankful for these sweet friends and their adorable itty bitty babes.  Thankful that God has our Baby J picked out for us and thankful for all the prayer warriors keeping us going.  What are you thankful for this month?