Saturday was the big game.  Our first home SEC game.  Nevermind that it was against LSU.  SEC games are fun no matter the opponent.  This was also Russ's first game now that he's finished with boards!  Can we get an AMEN!?  Hallelujah!  Our little family met the rest of the crew in Starkville around lunch time.  Millie Janalee settled right into her little tailgate chair to eat and watch the ballgames with the big kids.

She enjoyed her lunch and all the attention of course.

Since this was Millie Janalee's first "real" tailgating day, I came prepared with a quilt, lots of toys, books, and lots and lots of food.  She enjoyed her "playroom" in front of everyone, and only tried to run away from the tents once.  Ha!  We read books, played with water bottles, visited everyone, and took nearly a two hour nap...half on Auntie Kristin and the other half on her quilt.  

When 6:00 neared, we began packing up and loading the tailgate into the cars.  This is one of the best things about our new tailgating spot.  We can easily load up and be ready for our exit on late game nights.  Millie Janalee was refreshed and ready for game time!  I was able (actually Auntie Kristin managed) to get Millie Janalee to eat a mandarin orange cup before going into the game.  She may not have had a proper meal all day, but she never went hungry.  Ha!

My cute little cheerleader!

Getting ready for her "touchdown" motion

While everyone else packed up and put the tents down, I sat with Millie Janalee and did the motherly things like change her diaper and sneak kisses.  I may have also gotten a little overheated and stood up too fast after diaper change.  So, we sat a while on the baby quilt.  I'm telling you, this girl is just the cutest little thing!  I love her so!

"Hmmm...I wonder how those tents just fold up..."

Sweet kisses!

My little Bulldog family!

A little walk with Daddy

"Do y'all need any help over there?"

"It's game time y'all!  Let's GO!"

 Once everything was loaded, we began making an early walk to the stadium to enjoy the pregame festivities and cheer on the players.  I took on the "bag lady role" while Daddy and Uncie Bucket took the precious cargo.  She was ready to see some football!

And I kid you not!  This girl stayed seated or standing in her own seat the entire game! She never whimpered to get down, and she never fidgeted.  She watched the game, watched the jumbotron, and danced to the band.  Oh, and she ate a few snacks too!  Ha!

The first half was too exciting for me to even explain.  We stood, screamed, rang our cowbells, clapped, and smiled ear to ear!  I can ride that excitement for a while!  One of the highlights of the game was when we surpassed LSU in the second quarter.  I took a picture just to prove it.  I hate that the final score did not show how close this game was for the majority of the night.

Basically, we fell apart in the fourth quarter and LSU did not.  Millie Janalee was not impressed and decided to take a nap.  We stayed though.  Til the bitter end.  We were there.  Sometimes it hurts to be "True Maroon", but I was proud of our team and proud of our performance during the first three quarters.

In the end, it didn't go our way.  But sometimes it's the little things that go your way.  Like this sleeping Baby Bulldog in my lap.

Until next week...Go Dawgs!

The Friday Five

1. {Boards are OVER!}  As of yesterday afternoon, Russ was finished with his boards!  Hallelujah!  The rest of his afternoon was spent with friends taking in the Chicago experience.  We look forward to his arrival home in a couple hours.  Millie Janalee and I missed him, and we look forward to saying "Goodbye" to the books for awhile!  I see lots of family fall fun in the coming weeks.

2. {Malinda's Story}  I am absolutely loving the God Gave Us Love adoption series on Wednesdays!  If you have not already started following these amazing and touching stories, start now.  This week, Malinda shared her story.  It's a difficult one to digest, but I am touched by their willingness to let God build their family.  Even when it hurts.

3. {Toddler Time}  In case you wondered, we still follow my "toddler time curriculum" very loosely and as we have time.  I mean...she is only one.  Our favorite part of toddler time is the books we are reading together and art projects.  The girl seriously brings me books to read to her all day long, and I have to make myself only bring out the new books when it is time.  (One new book a week.)  I open my hands and she thrusts herself into my lap...chest first and head back with a giant smile.  It's the best ever!  She is really enjoying the painting too.  Today, I let her eat Cheerios with one hand while we played in the paint with the other to make our fall tree.  It turned out so cute, and she loved watching her hands as they turned colors.  I may or may not have let her eat a Cheerio with paint on it and dug a Cheerio out of a green leaf when we finished.  I'm pretty sure it was non-toxic since it was washable kids paint.  It may even be Crayola.  I can't remember at the moment.  Regardless, she's fine.  All is well.  I think I'm going to take her to the local library soon to just enjoy watching her choose books and reading as many as her little heart desires.  Maybe I can find a story time schedule too.

4. {Back in the Habit} If you've been around long enough, you know Russ bought me a sewing machine when we lived with his parents for a few months.  His mom and sister are master seamstresses (and his dad can sew too!), so I was trained while Russ commuted to and from Memphis.  Since Millie Janalee was born, I haven't brought it out of the closet at all.  Until this week!  I finally began working on the Christmas countdown calendar my mom gave me the Christmas before Millie Janalee was born.  Anyway, it is exactly like the one we had growing up...only I had to quilt it and put it together.  I am almost completely finished.  All that is left is sawing off the end of the dowel rod, making another bow, and adding the Velcro.  It looks good, don't you think!?

5. {Her order shipped.}  Millie Janalee's Zulily order has arrived.  It is a nice set of Eric Carle wooden magnets for our refrigerator.  It turns out she actually ordered them on my mom's credit card since she was the last one to order off my account.  So, Susu will take these home and give them to Millie Janalee for Christmas.  I'm sure she is thankful for Millie Janalee's assistance to begin her shopping.

That pretty much covers the top five moments of my week that I haven't already shared.  How was your week?  Link up with us and share! 

My Top Baby Picks

So last month, I tried out Citrus Lane.  Citrus Lane is a subscription based company that sends you a box full of top-rated baby items each month based on your child's age and gender.  I received our box, and I was quite happy with the contents.  I did cancel my subscription solely because we need to save our money for Christmas and other things at the moment.  But, if the opportunity arises...I will happily pick it back up.  (It was super easy to cancel, by the way, if you want to try it out.)

As I looked through the contents of my September box, I got to thinking about what I consider to be my top-rated baby items.  People ask me all the time about what Millie Janalee loved and what I found most useful.  So, I've compiled a list of a few of my favorite things.  There are others I wanted to add, but I'm leaving it to my "cannot live without" list + a couple fashion favorites.  Ha!

1. {ZCush Baby Nap Mat} At first glance, this just looks like a cutesy accessory that you would only give as a gift.  Ummm.  Not the case!  We could NOT live without this nap mat for the entire first six months or more of Millie Janalee's life!  She did not sleep well without it.  She napped it in and slept in it.  It traveled with us everywhere.  We kept it in her bassinet until she moved to the crib, we put it in her Pack 'n Play when we traveled, and we moved it with her to the crib.  It made the transition SO MUCH EASIER.  She pretty much decided when she was okay without it when she moved off of it as soon as we put her down to sleep one night.  My mom and I like to give this as baby gifts.  I did not pay full price for this item, by the way.  I purchased it on Zulily.  If you are not familiar with Zulily...oh my.  Leave your email address in the comments, and I will send you an invitation to join.  Discount clothing, accessories, toys, and more for women and kids!

2. {Aden + Anais blankets} Most moms everywhere know about this and recommend it to others.  I am among them.  I don't typically jump on bandwagons. (For example, I'm not a huge fan of the Wubbanubs like everyone else.)  But we used these swaddling blankets for Millie Janalee all the time.  They were light enough for her summer birth, and they swaddled so soft and nicely.  It is also large in size.  And they come in very cute designs for boys, girls, and gender neutral.  You can find them at most baby boutiques like The Square Cupboard and Target has selection.  They can be pricey.  But they are fabulous.  We also used the Aden + Anais burpy bibs.

3. {Gerber Cloth Diapers}  Oh my goodness.  In case you are new around here, Millie Janalee was a spitter!  And when I say spitter, I mean the girl spit up constantly.  I'm not exaggerating like the majority of the moms who have tried to sympathize with me.  I am talking serious vomiting.  Many have said, "I have never seen a baby spit up that much."  We tried every formula out there.  I asked my doctor at every single checkup.  She still spits up occasionally, but she just eventually outgrew the majoy 8-10 times within the hour.  And when I say 8-10 times...I mean 8-10 vomits.  Not dribbles down the chin onto the bib.  I mean splatter all over the floor, carpet, upholstery and anyone holding her.  Bless her little heart!  The child only took bibs off when I took a quick picture, and then I slapped that bib back on.  We seriously have an entire dresser drawer packed full of bibs.  And another drawer packed full of these cloth diapers.  I'm not talking about the thick ones people use to cutesy up either.  The best burp cloths are these thin ones.  She would sit in her swing with these rags laying across her chest at all times.  They are just like square rags basically.  They clean up easily, quickly, and can be reused by  just folding it a different direction.  They can also hang out of your back pocket like a busboy...I had no pride during that phase.  Burp cloth in my pocket or on my shoulder AT. ALL. TIMES!  No lie.  Thank goodness I had it in my pocket when we saw Santa in the mountains!  These win the prize!  My mom bought them for me before Millie Janalee was born, and it was what she used with  us.  The only time I used the cutesy ones was when we went to church or a special occasion.  But these thin rags are my all time spit up rags for sure!

4. {Baby Swing} First, please take a moment to notice the burp cloth laying across her body.  I told you I wasn't joking about the spit up.  I think this is self explanatory that all mamas will want to purchase or ask for a baby swing.  She napped in this thing.  I took showers while she was in this thing.  She played in this thing.  We didn't move the swing out of our apartment until...maybe 6-7 months old (maybe older).  Only because she started sitting up and could easily fall out.  I loved our swing. 

5.  {O-Ball}  When we first got this from my cousin, I laughed because I had no idea what it was.  It looked like a dog toy.  This O-ball was Millie Janalee's favorite toy by far!  It is easy to grip, rattles, and is lightweight.  The first time she "played" with a toy, it was this ball.  We have two...a red one and a pink one.  Now we also have a big O-ball walker toy thingie.  You can get these anywhere I think.

6. {TessieLou hairbows} I do realize that hairbows on babies are a controversial topic.  People either love them or hate them.  And if they hate them...they are usually pretty critical about babies who wear them.  This "I don't care mama" proudly stuck these bows on my baby's head.  Ha!  I never thought I would do it, but they looked so cute on her.  People ask me all the time where I got her headbands.  I ordered them in various sizes and every color from TessieLou on Etsy.  It looks like TessieLou is temporarily out of the office. But, I did find another place...Simple & Beautiful.  Try that one.  The bigger bows were called boutique bows.

7. {Video monitor} Do you remember when our parents used audio monitors to hear us when we cried?  Or maybe they didn't use a monitor at all.  How did they do it?  When we first moved Millie Janalee into her room, we watched the monitor all night long.  I never got that SIDS monitor thing.  But, a video monitor is peace of mind...and fun to watch.  When she cries at night, I am able to see if she is bothered or just crying in her sleep.  This could mean the difference between sleep and no sleep.  Trust me.  You'll want sleep.  We also love watching her play and talk to her little stuffed animals when she wakes up.  On those hard nights when you hate to let her cry, but you know she needs to learn to soothe herself...the monitor helps you know that she's not hurting.  And it breaks your heart to see her sad face.  We use Summer brand, and we now have it on the wall.  We attached it to her bed until she could stand.

8.  {Round the Bend appliqued dresses}  I was obviously obsessed with Erin's work.  We have owned four dresses in the last year of Millie Janalee's life.  Round the Bend is an Etsy shop, but I think she also travels around to some of the Mistletoe Markets...I know she was in Memphis last year.  There are other shops who do similar work, and I just ordered one from Julieanne Originals because it was less expensive.  But, I know I have seen, worn, and washed these dresses by Round the Bend and can attest to the quality.

9. {Exersaucer}  Okay.  It's time to get back to practicality.  Russ's sister gave Millie Janalee this exersaucer for Christmas, and we have used the poo out of it.  Most sites call it an "activity gym" I think.  Once Millie Janalee became barely mobile (rolling over, crawling, scooting, and even now) this piece of baby equipment has been a lifesaver.  I bring it into the bathroom still when I need to shower, and she just plays and talks to me.  I would sit her in there when I ran to the car for something or let Farley go out to potty.  She would play in there forever when she was younger.  I think she was five months old when we began using it, and she loved it.  Now, she still likes to stand on the outside of it and play with the contraptions...and most recently, she enjoys crawling under and through it.  Ha!

10. {Cart and High Chair Cover}  Okay.  Some experienced moms will most certainly may roll their eyes and laugh when you break out this cover, but please know that we have used this thing to death!  Have you seen some of those high chairs?  Have you felt the stickiness?  I have.  And it's gross.  I wouldn't sit in it, so I didn't make Millie Janalee.  Especially when she was just beginning to sit up and use high chairs.  There are also little tags for her to play with while shopping or eating.  We also attached some of her rings to the tags to play with.  Very useful.  Also, Millie Janalee liked to bite the shopping cart handles.  This keeps her tongue on something that I know contains my own dirt.  Not someone else's.  We haven't used it in a while, but it was well worth the $23 spent.

11.  {Carseat Cinema}  Listen people.  I do not care how you feel about babies or young children watching TV.  It does not matter when you are traveling long distances.  Because you will go crazy when the crying doesn't stop.  I've only had to endure such an experience for about an hour or so at a time.  And it was awful.  We travel.  A lot.  And our travels are completely uneventful and pleasant (with one exception five minutes from home) because of this miraculous contraption.  If you have an iPad, iPhone, or other similar device...I recommend this.  Hang it on the headrest of your car, grocery cart (I've never done that, but it is advertised on the site), or car seat.  Upload Sesame Street or your child's favorite show or movie from iTunes, and you are set.  I really only use it on long road trips or nighttime trips to the store.  And I still don't always use it then.  But, there are so many times that I do not know what we would have done without it!  Once again, I did not pay full price for this.  I ordered it on Zulily.  And, again, leave your email address in the comments, and I'll send you an invitation to shop with Zulily.  No membership fee or anything like that.

12. {Baby Headphones}  This is pretty self-explanatory.  If you have a baby...say 5 weeks old...that you plan to take to a college football game, you will want these.  Especially if you are going to a stadium filled with cowbells.  You all know that Millie Janalee went into the stadium at 8-9 weeks (and tailgated at 6-7 weeks).  She slept during nearly the whole game, because of these wonderful headphones my mom found.  We took her this year, at 13 months, and she took an hour nap wearing them.  Thank you, Lord Jesus, for helping the creators of these headphones.  I love football, and I love my baby girl.  And because of these, I was able to enjoy both.  And snap hilarious pictures to be used later...

I am going to force myself to stop now.  If you want more of my top-rated baby products for something more specific, just let me know in the comments.  I hope this was helpful for someone.  But, I also think I will enjoy looking back at this years from now to see what I couldn't live without in 2012/2013.

What are some of your top-rated baby items??

God Gave Us Love {Malinda's Story}

One of the many reasons behind my hosting this adoption series is to share the stories.  The uplifting stories that make you smile and praise Jesus.  And the hard truths that come with adoption.  The difficult adoption journeys that still point us to Him and lead us to praise Him in the midst of our disappointments.  Malinda and I have have a mutual friend, but I have been following her blog for awhile now.  I asked her to share one of her most difficult adoption decisions with you.  Please read this and share with others if you feel led.  It has certainly spoken to Russ and me as we prepare to continue growing our family how God leads.  And yes, it may even scare us a bit (or a lot).  But it is a truth that needs to be told and heard.

About 15 years ago Reagan and I did what most married couples decide to do at some point in their marriage. We began trying to start a family. We ceased using any form of birth control. I talked with my doctor about our plans and, we assumed, as many do, that we'd be pregnant sometime in the next few months.

Now, what some may not know about me is, I'm an "all in" kind of person. When I begin working on a project, I become consumed by it. I create a timeline with a checklist. I research. I Google everything I can on the subject. I buy books and do everything to become an "expert" (in my own mind) on what I'm about to do. I've told people many times that I am the "Alex P. Keaton" of my family. So, as we began to think about and plan for a family, I began researching and reading. I read countless books on conception, birth, babies - anything that remotely spoke of preparing for adding a child or children to your family. I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" from cover to cover. I was scared to death, but I was ready.

Well, those books, while educational, turned out to be of no use to me. Our expectations, as they were, soon changed. When we found that we were unable to conceive biological children, my reading material changed to books such as "Infertility: Finding Hope in the Journey." Then as we turned toward adoption, I read "Dear Birthmother." There were many other books and articles that helped me through each of those steps in our journey.

We suffered adoption loss after adoption loss. It's been no secret that I reached a point from which those closest to me thought I might not recover. And I might not have were it not for my strong, faithful husband and a few very close friends who counseled and loved me through that deep, dark time. On the other side of that loss, I read what was probably my favorite book/Bible study ever, Angela Thomas' "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?" The scriptures and illustrations Angela shared from God's word showed me that I could lift my head, and dance, even through pain.

Reading, searching, praying, seeking counsel - through all of those things that God used to lift me through those dark days, there was one thing that I read early on, in a book or article that I can't remember at the moment, that has stuck with me through every decision we've faced on this journey toward the family that God planned for us. I read something similar to these words, "Don't place a period where God intends a comma. And don't place a comma where God intends a period."

I thought on those words many times. What those words impressed on me was that there are times in my life when I'm going to feel like giving up and saying I'm done. But, really what God wants me to do in many of those situations is take a breath, like when I see a comma in a sentence, then keep going. Oh the commas we've seen in our journey these last 15 years. Then, there are also times, when I really want to continue in a path, but I have to be mindful that perhaps God is telling me, "Ok, that's enough. This is the end of this part of the story." In those times, if I continue with the analogy I've started, God wants me to place a period.

We tried everything we possibly could to conceive a child of our own, only to find it was not possible, and were heartbroken beyond words... Comma... We began to pursue In Vitro Fertilization, then found out even that was not an option for conception... Comma... We pursued adoption, and had failure after failure... Comma... We continued even after loss and were given the most beautiful, smartest little girl we could have ever prayed for...

We tried embryo adoption, and had no resulting positive pregnancy.... Comma... More calls… Comma… She changed her mind… Comma… Take a breath... Keep going... Comma...

When Sara Madalin was about 18 months old we began preliminary paperwork with our adoption agency in hopes of adopting a second child. Going in, we knew we had two strikes against us. For one, we already had a child. Most birthmothers, when looking at profiles, prefer to place their child with a couple who does not have children. We've been told, by birthmothers who've placed through our agency, that they feel they are giving couples a special gift by giving them their first child. And, indeed they are. Second, our age is working against us. This might be a surprise to a few who read our blog, but we are getting on up there. Reagan more so than me. (Ahem) Most birthmothers prefer to place their child with a couple younger than us.

But we continued with our paperwork. Again. Every year since 2005 (with the exception of 2008 and 2009, right after SM was born) we've had blood drawn to test for HIV. We've had needles stuck our arms to test for TB. We've reported our financial earnings. We've been fingerprinted for background checks. We've been to doctors for full physicals. We've answered numerous questions, paid more money in fees than I want to think about, and sat through countless seminars, training, and counseling sessions. All for a family... Comma, after comma.

Last Summer, when we began to fill out our yearly paperwork to renew our home study for the next year, we began to talk about how much longer we were willing to wait with our agency. We certainly don't blame the agency, but having been with them for so long - on and off since 2005 - and not having a placement - it just seems a little futile to us. We discussed on and off all year what we would do when it was time to renew our application this Summer. Little by little, we came to the same conclusion. In the area of waiting - something we've done for so, so long - it is time for a period.

Are we still open to adoption if God brings a child into our lives? Yes. We've had numerous calls from friends who know someone who knows someone, etc. in the past year. We usually have a call or two every year like that. But nothing ever works out. So, given that track record, we feel pretty confident in saying that Sara Madalin will be our only child. If God sends us a child in the way He brought Sara Madalin to us, yes we'd adopt again. But we have decided that we will no longer actively wait with an agency. It's a difficult, and for me especially, emotional decision. But it's time.

I want to say thank you to anyone who reads our blog who has prayed for us these past 15 years, through every tear and every joyful moment as God worked to build our little family. Thank you for your encouraging emails. Thank you for reading as I have blogged all the events and emotions that we've faced throughout our adoption journeys. We've been truly blessed to have such caring, loving, encouraging people in our lives. We have always said, and continue to believe, that God is good, and He is faithful. He always has been to us, and we know He always will be.

Period.

Here We Go Under the Tunnel!

This past weekend was one for the books.  You know the ones?  The weekends where nothing is planned and the best fun happens?  After a full and fun family day on Saturday morning, we woke up Sunday to join our home church at worship.  We have been in and out of town so much lately that we usually end up going to church in our hometown these days.  It was nice to see everyone.  Millie Janalee had a great time in the nursery.  This time she was promoted to the "Toddler Room!"  [Tear!]  She fell asleep in the car, and Russ and I enjoyed a nice lunch at McAlister's while I held my sleeping beauty.  I put her in bed when we got home, and the whole family napped until 2:00.

I can't remember the last time I took a nap during the day! (Except for Saturday.  I forgot to mention that yesterday. Ha!)  See?  I told you it was a wonderful weekend!

Sunday afternoon, Millie Janalee and I hung out while Daddy studied.  He came home in time for bath time and a little playtime.  I don't know about your house, but at our home play time gets a little more exciting when Daddy is home!  Ha! Daddy and Millie Janalee built a tunnel with my quilt, and it just looked like too much fun not to join in!

There were lots of squeals, giggles, and smiles!  There was also a breathless baby who lost her breath crawling back and forth and back and forth under the fun tunnel.  Santa is watching these days, and I'm thinking Millie Janalee may ask for her very own tunnel for Christmas...

And then I'll teach her the song Nonnie and Pops taught me when we drove under the tunnel headed to the beach..."Here we go under the tunnel!  The tunnel!  The tunnel!..."