I have SOOOO much to catch you all up on.  I cannot even explain to you in one short blog post how busy our little family has been this spring going into summer.  And now we are preparing for our big move next week...and we are more excited than you know!  Our hearts are full and burdened for many reasons right now and we appreciate your prayers in the days and weeks to come.

June 8, 2015 - that is the day we stood before the judge in Jackson, MS with our family and officially and legally finalized Smith's adoption.  And the judge called him by name.  Smith Russell Johnson.  Our son.  Of course he was our son from the day we learned of him...although he wasn't placed in our arms until after his birth.  But now we have completed the process full of paperwork and planning and home visits...and we are legally and officially a family of four.

We had a different judge this time around, and she was wonderful.  She introduced herself and wanted to know the name of everyone in our group.  She compared Smith and Millie Janalee to Prince William and Kate's children.  Ummm....yes please!  I'll take that compliment in the most humble manner of course.  Judge Wise then went over the legal paperwork with our attorney while our family stood behind us.  Russ and I raised our right hands and confirmed our desire to care for Smith under oath.  The papers were signed and we were legal!

Judge Wise was kind enough to offer a photo opportunity in the courtroom.  She heard our case in her chambers, so we went out to the full courtroom and posed our crazy crew behind the bench.  The judge put on her robe and even gave the kids the gavel for pictures.  Millie Janalee was just a little too "gavel happy" right next to Smith.  Ha!  I can't go on without mentioning that it was at this time Russ and I realized our camera DID NOT WORK!  Y'all.  Surely you know how devastating that was to us...and how much sweat began to form as we frantically tried to figure out how to fix it.  Thankfully, I remembered that I had my little point and shoot camera in my diaper bag from our beach trip.  Yay!  So we did document the occasion...and with a little editing...they look okay.  Not that I'm picky about pictures or anything.

It was also an exciting time because our social worker, Karen, was able to meet Smith for the first time!  Since he was born in North Mississippi, Karen wasn't able to be there at birth.  It's always fun for her to see how much Millie Janalee's personality has blossomed as well.  Karen has been there with us from the very first question I ever had about Bethany.  I am honored to call her my friend.

Clancy was so thoughtful to invite us all over to her house for cake and punch to celebrate Smith's big day.  We had all just come in from a week long beach vacation, so this gesture was no small task!  I am so grateful and undeserving of my "drop whatever you are doing and be there" family.

Russ and I were happy to share this day with our sister-in-law and her five children also.  They drove in from Tupelo that morning and made it JUST IN TIME for our hearing.  We are so glad they were able to share this special day with us!

Julie and Smith

Julie, Leah, Millie Janalee, Olivia, Smith, Clay, Roan, and Sam

Our camera started working on the way home from the courthouse, so we did some family pictures once we got to Clancy's house. It all worked out!  Of course, my parents don't miss a thing.  They learned this from their parents - my grandparents.  They never missed thing we did if they could help it.  Even living four hours away.  They made it happen!

Susu, Smith, and Pawpaw

Uncle Howard, Selah Grace, Smith, and Clancy

Russ and I continue to be blessed more than we could have ever imagined through our adoption journeys.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have planned this perfectly planned life.  It overwhelms me to consider the many blessings He has given us.  Immeasurably more!

Our forever family...built exactly the way God planned to build it.  He never gave up on us even though we were ready to give up at times.  He held our hands and drug us through the ashes.  Because He knew how to create beauty from ashes.  Beauty far more beautiful than I could ask.

Happy Finalization Day, Smith!  To God be the glory FOREVER!

Dear Birthmother

Written September 30, 2014

Dear Birthmother,

I got word today that you were struggling.  Struggling with your emotions.  My mind immediately went to fear that you had changed your mind.  Then I was told it wasn't that.  I got word that you were struggling as you neared your due date.  The reality of what's ahead and actually saying "goodbye" was hitting you hard.

My heart broke for you.

As much as I long for and love the child you are carrying, I also mourn for your loss.  I can't possibly understand what you are feeling.  I mean, I've never even carried a child in my belly.  I have no idea what it is like to feel those hiccups and kicks and movements each day.  I have no idea what it's like to watch my belly grow knowing there is a human being inside.  I have no idea what it's like to lie awake at night with my hands on my growing belly uncomfortable and scared.  I have no idea.  But I do know loss.  And I understand the love of a mother.  I, like you, am a mother.  I became a mother differently, but I love her the same.

And I mourn for you.  For the sweet moments you will miss.  The late night feedings you won't experience with him.  The joys of witnessing his first smile, giggle, or word.  I mourn for you as his big days pass without your being there.  Please know that you will not mourn alone.  I will be mourning for you too.

I also admire you.  I admire the strength you have to choose this plan for your child.  I admire the determination you have shown as you cared for him while you could.  The careful choosing of the perfect family for him.  I admire your decision to give life...because of a love you have for him.  And because of a strong conviction you have that every life is created for His purpose.  God knew his story before he was conceived.  He was not caught by surprise.  Unlike the two of us!

I am thankful for you.  I am thankful for the love story you are giving us to share with him.  A story full of unconditional love that does not end after birth.  I am thankful that you want to stay in his life and watch him grow.  I am thankful that when he has questions, I will have answers.  And if I don't have the answers, I know I can ask you.  I am thankful for your faith.  Knowing that we share our faith gives me such peace and comfort.  I know you will be okay.  Because He will care for you.  And I will pray for you.

Birthmother, as you probably lie awake tonight with thoughts and fears racing through your head...I want you to know that I am awake on the couch doing the same thing.  Thoughts of you and this precious life on my mind and heart.  Fears creeping in my mind as you struggle through your decision.  I am awake with you.  You are not alone.  The same God that I am praying to tonight is the same God you are praying to tonight.  We are sisters loving the same baby boy.  And that alone is an amazing gift we are giving our son.

I just wanted to tell you that I love you.  I have only met you once, but I love you.  I love your heart.  I love your spirit.  And I love the life growing inside you.  May God wrap you in His arms tonight and every night as the days of delivery approach.

With love,
Megan

I Love to Tell the Story

"I love to tell the story of unseen things above,

of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love.

I love to tell the story, because I know 'tis true;

it satisfies my longings as nothing else can do."

God began writing His story for us long before we were born.  He's been writing your story too.  As Russ and I embarked on the most difficult part of our story thus far, nothing has satisfied me more than telling God's story.  The story of His love giving Him the glory!

"I love to tell the story;

'Tis pleasant to repeat

What seems each time I tell it,

More wonderfully sweet."

It is with complete gratitude and shock that I share the story of His love once again.  Russ, Millie Janalee, and I welcomed Smith Russell Johnson into our family on October 13 at 8:36 pm.  A beautiful 6 pound 12 ounce baby boy measuring 19 inches long.  He was greeted by the love of a precious young woman and a gentle young man who hold onto a part of our hearts just as the couple who went before them did in July of 2012.  Two precious souls who are a part of our life forever - because we share a love for this sweet boy- our son - Smith.

"From His abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another."  John 1:16

Giving thanks to God for this life and the privilege of telling His story..."more wonderfully sweet" each time I tell it. To God be the glory, great things He has done!

"I love to tell the story,

'Twill be my theme in glory

To tell the old, old story

of Jesus and His love"

Before You Were Born

Before she was born, we prayed.  Before she was born, we cried.  Before she was born, we longed to know what it felt like to be called "Mama" and "Daddy."  Before she was born, we dreamed.  Before she was born, hundreds (maybe even thousands) joined us in fervent prayer as we embarked on our journey to parenthood.  Before she was born, we lost sleep.  Before she was born, we instantly loved a couple we had never met.

Before she was born, we loved her.

Before we knew her...we loved her.

Before she was born, God did an extreme work on our hearts.  He listened to our prayers as we asked begged for Him to make his desires our desires.  He heard my cry when I asked Him to change my heart to match His.

God showed us the desire of our hearts and the miracle we never would have known had we not learned to trust Him.  He knew who our hearts were longing for, and He showed us immeasurably more than we could have ever imagined or dreamed.

God entrusted us with the precious life of Miss Millie Janalee.  Our "Baby J".

It is hard to begin to fathom how our hearts would have room to love even more.  But we know love multiplies!  We pray for God to guide us as parents.  To prepare our hearts.  And hers.  Prepare our hearts for big changes in our futures.  When?  We aren't quite sure.  But we know His timing and His plans are perfect.  We know from experience.  Because He got us through life before she was born.

And we have faith that He will do it again...

Over the course of these last couple months, we began working with our adoption agency to adopt again.  We have completed all the paperwork, we had our interviews, our profile books are in, and I took these pictures the day of our home visit.  We are waiting on the official approval, but it should be here next week if all goes as planned.

This adoption will be a bit different.  Since we are moving to Missouri in a couple weeks, we had to rush our process so that our profile can remain active in Mississippi while we are gone.  When we get to Missouri, we will contact Bethany Christian Services in St. Louis to make the appropriate updates...which will include another home visit and paperwork.  In the case of a placement while we are living in Missouri, we need to be covered in both states.  All states have their own laws and regulations.  We will also discuss the possibility of having our profiles shown in Missouri while we are there.  I mean, why not?

This being our second adoption, we will also prepare to wait longer.  Birthmothers typically lean toward choosing "childless couples."  Families with children tend to wait longer.  However, we all know that God has His own plan for all these families...including ours.  So anything can happen!

We are excited and anxious and at complete peace about our future.  We have already begun praying for our Baby J².  We are praying for his or her birthmother.  Praying that God will prepare her heart for us and our hearts for her.

And we ask, once again, if you will join us.  More than all the gracious monetary support we received during Millie Janalee's adoption...your prayers were most cherished.  You were our prayer warriors, and I know many of you still continue to pray for us as we parent Millie Janalee and for her birthparents as they move forward in their lives.

Will you join us again?

We love you, Baby J².  Even before you were born, we loved you!

We are stepping away from the shore again with a tiny seed of faith...knowing He will meet us there.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!  

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!