I would like to introduce myself to you. My name is Ginger and I am married to the most kind and compassionate man named Michael. We have been waiting to grow our family for almost 7 years. We were led to adoption through infertility struggles, but God is the one who placed the desire in our hearts to adopt. Michael and I did not want to adopt when we first started our road of infertility. {Gasp} I know! (we were trying to plan out our life) We wanted biological children. What we didn’t know was God had another plan in mind.

The start of 2012 we begin to pray for God’s will for our life. I had exhausted all measures and was extremely tired of trying to force my plans to line up with God’s. I noticed as I prayed for His will my heart’s desire started to change. It was not instant, but over time the desire to become pregnant was no longer as important as it once was. He was changing our hearts to fit His perfect plan.

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalms 37:4

We did not feel the call to adopt at the same time or the same way, but God led us to adoption together in His time. We are adopting because God called us to show the love of Christ. Through Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection, we have been adopted into the family of God. We believe through adoption, not only can we share the love of Christ with a beautiful child, but others will be able to see a picture of that love through our story.

Michael and I are still in the waiting process of our domestic adoption with Bethany Christian Services. We were approved on April 9, 2013, which means we have been waiting for “the call” almost 11 months.

God calls us all to “wait” for different things but the 2 main reasons for the wait is the same no matter what we are waiting for… 1. For our Good! 2. For His Glory! Think about Abraham and Hannah in the bible… Abraham waited for the fulfillment of the promise of a son. And Hannah waited for a son and then gave him back to the Lord. They were called to a season of waiting. And they were witnesses and beneficiaries of the grace and glory of God. The waiting season in your life has a purpose. Just like the waiting season in my life has a purpose. I am learning to embrace our wait with grace. Are you?

During my season of waiting I have been learning to gracefully wait and fully trust God. Waiting does not come naturally to me. I want to “do” instead of “wait.” To be completely honest, the wait drives me crazy most days. Sometimes I am almost sure God says, “My child, I need you to relax and know that I am not going to harm you. I just want you to love the Giver more than the gift. I want you to grow as close to me as possible because I am only preparing you for BIG things. I just need you to wait.” Then I take a breath, slow my thoughts down, and know that my wait is in His hands. He is the one who made the blind to see, the lame to walk, and raised the dead to life. He has got this. I just have to wait, trust and continue to grow in Him.

I know God is teaching me how to fully trust in Him. He is allowing me to grow closer to Him. I just have to be patient and learn to gracefully wait on His perfect timing. God knows my heart, my desires, and my longing. He also longs for me to experience His best for my life. And just knowing that helps me welcome my season of waiting.

I am not going to tell you that it is easy to wait. Because it is NOT!! It has been one of the hardest things I have had to do. I can only hope and dream and pray for my day to get to experience being a mother. I know that I will cherish the gift of being a mother and I will cherish that sweet little baby. But most of all I will always love and adore the Giver! I will never forget our season of waiting because that my friend is when He drew me closer to His side.

We don’t know how long this season will last or what the exact final outcome will be. But, we are learning to gracefully wait on His timing. God is faithful in His plans to provide a future and a hope. Please continue to pray with us through our journey and this season of waiting.

Praying for Our Happily Ever After…

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights… James 1:17

Phyllis's Story {God Gave Us Love}

God has a way of providing for His children in just the right time.  I will attempt to share as much of our adoption story as I can but please understand there are some details of her story that are very personal and we wish to keep those private.  So here goes ...

Nick and I married June 18, 2005.  I knew long before our marriage that I wanted children...I've always loved children.  So about a year after we were married we agreed to start trying the "natural" way.  Well a year turned into 2...then 3...then 4....then 5....so on.   We saw several doctors, heard lots of advise (some good and bad), and even had some procedures but needless did we know God had other plans for our family. y.  After 4 1/2 years of fertility treatments in April 2011, we were finally PREGNANT!!!! Excited was not the word...I was one top of the world.  But, I soon began to have problems and at 5 1/2 weeks we lost our sweet little innocent baby.  I did not realize you could love someone so much you had never met.  Devastated was not the word; I can't begin to describe feelings we experiencing individually and as a couple.  Well of course the doctors all said "don't give up...it will happen again...it's a great sign you can get pregnant."  So I tried to remain positive. The days seem to pass more quickly and before we knew it 6 months had passed and there I was PRENGANT AGAIN.  Well of course this time I tried to protect my heart but there is just no hiding the love a mother has a for her child (even if is unborn).  Well as you can guess within a few weeks here we were having problems again.  I tried to remain positive but as a nurse practitioner I soon realized the road we were headed down again. At 8 1/2 weeks I miscarried again but this time there were complications associated with the miscarriage and I found myself admitted to the hospital and in surgery on a Saturday night. The 2nd loss was even more devastating than the first but by God's grace we have survived.  The holidays were hard but with the love of our family and friends we made it through.

Through much prayer and debate about our next steps in our adventure to be parents was dealing with the feeling we were being called to ADOPT.  If you would have told me how blessed we would be just by saying "Yes" to God's will and perfect timing for our family I just might not have believed you.

Many of you will never fully understand the heartache that comes with years of infertility and while I would not have chosen this path for myself I am glad that God chose me for this journey.  Although it wasn’t easy, I wouldn't change a thing.  God definitely made me a better, stronger person through this journey.


On Thursday, August 1, 2013, we received a call from a friend informing us of a potential private adoption.  All we knew at the time was she was 26 weeks along and it was a girl... well that was enough for me.  Two days later, Saturday, August 3, 2013, we met the birth mom and a friend of hers for dinner.  You could tell from the moment we met God had his hand all over this sweet girl and on the precious baby she was carrying.  As we sat and talked for a couple of hours and we shared our story with her she made the decision that night that she wanted us to be this precious girl's parents.  WOW ... we were shocked, scared, excited all in one.  So imagine how hard it was to keep this great secret for 2 months!!!.  



 As the weeks passed and we met with a lawyer and she did the same we began secretly preparing our home for the new arrival.  We made lots of trips to Memphis or Tupelo and late night runs to our local Wal-Mart hoping not to get caught with our purchases.  As we secretly awaited the arrival of our sweet girl we began falling in love with the thought of becoming parents; however, little did we know just how much our hearts would grow once we met Nora Kate.



Nora's expected due date was set for November 3, 2013.  I too am a November baby so I was excited to share my birth month with our little girl.  On Saturday, October 12, 2013, Nick and I went to have dinner with the birth mom and her mother just to catch up and begin preparations for our little arrival.  We arrived home around 10pm and when I text the birth mom to let her know we were home safely her response was quite a shock.  It read, "well I'm at the hospital my water broke when we got home they are keeping me waiting on delivery!"  I immediately sprung into action gathering up a baby bag for Nora (yes I was unprepared I thought I had a little more time) and throwing some things in a bag for us and most of all making sure we didn't forget the car seat!! Off we went to await the arrival of our greatest blessing.  We made it in record timing!!! Glad there was no traffic and no cops!!



The next several hours are somewhat of a blur.  As we made camp in the family waiting room pushing chairs together managing to sleep a few minutes here and there the night lasted forever.  Into the next day time inched by as we waited for the notice of the birth.  Nora Katherine was born on Sunday, October 13, 2013 at 2:35pm.  She weighed 5 pounds 8 ounces and was 18.5 inches long and absolutely perfect.  As we anxiously awaited the time to meet this little miracle my heart was overflowing with love for someone I had never met.  As the nursery nurse placed the infant arm band on my arm tears of joy and sadness filled my heart.  For in this instant I knew my dreams of motherhood were finally coming true yet my heart ached for the birth mother and the decision she was making.  Nick and I instantly began praying for this sweet, innocent, miracle we had yet to meet and we prayed for the birth mother and her family as they began dealing with the hours and days to come.  



It was love at first sight!!!

When this sweet little miracle was placed in my arms for the first time you can tell from the picture it was a very emotional time.  I had waited for 7 years to be called "momma" and as the nurse laid her in my arms and called me momma my heart melted.

In the 10+ years we have been together I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen by husband cry ... but this one topped this list!!! I've never seen someone cry such tears of joy (besides myself).  It's amazing how quickly this little baby has melted his heart!!


After we were able to spend some alone time with Nora Katherine we decided we better share our little miracle with the rest of the family.  As you can see from the pictures below the grandparents were just as excited as we were.  Nick is an only child so this is the first grandchild for his parents who are pictured below.


Even though my parents are a pro at this grandparent thing with little Nora being the 5th grandchild, they were just as excited to welcome this miracle baby we had prayed for, for so long.

So as you can tell, October 13, 2013, will be a day my family will remember for many years.  While the seven years of waiting was hard and often tested our faith, God’s plans had been in the works for many years.  For you see, the number seven means completion ...

“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all His work.  Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it He rested from all the work of creating that He had done " Genesis 2:2-3.

Our family of three is now complete!!!



A Birthmother's Story {God Gave Us Love}

I am so glad to bring you more stories in our God Gave Us Love series during the month known for love.  There is no greater love, besides that of our Heavenly Father, stronger than the love of a mother.  This includes birthmothers.  I am incredibly honored and humbled to share the story of a precious birthmother.  You will understand the sensitivity of her story and her anonymonity.  This is her story...raw and real.  Soak it in.  Cry with her.  Love with her.  And  pray for her even now.

People have always said, through life you will be tested and tried. I never thought my life would take me down the path that it has the last ten years. Through heartbreak, tears, smiles, and laughter, I made it to who I am today. When I was a child people asked me all the time what it was like to be adopted. For me, I never gave it a second thought. My birth mother was only 17 years old when I was born. I always wondered, did she want me? Was I a mistake? Was I something bad that happened to her or was it very difficult for her to make that sacrifice? When I reached 17, I realized how young she really was and how there was no way I could ever have had a child at 17. For the first time in my life I had respect for my birth mother. The questions always remained though, why did she decide adoption? My answer came twice but took years before I saw it.

My boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant with my first child when I was 26 years old. We were in a tiny apartment and had very little money. We tried and tried to make ends meet and save for the baby but never could. Finally we decided adoption was the best answer. I knew in my heart that it was the only option because I was living the gift adoption brings. I did not want my son to grow up not having everything at his finger tips. I knew then that if we were to keep him, we would be so selfish and would only end up hurting his chances in life. Now, I'm not saying that everyone who ends up keeping their babies out of wedlock or being a single parent is selfish. In fact the majority of the parents in those situations make a bigger sacrifice by working nonstop to provide for that child. However, most of them have help from family members, which was an option we did not have.

I remember the first time I walked in to Bethany and met Nancy, our adoption counselor. I was terrified. My whole life I had been judged.What is this stranger going to think of me? I never thought being adopted myself I would be on the other side. After roughly five minutes, I felt like I was talking to one of my closest friends. I never felt awkward about telling her anything. My boyfriend met her and he felt the same way. She very quickly knew every detail and every secret of our lives. She was with me through every step of the process and held my hand through the hardest times. She even met my mother. I decided that due to my adoption being closed, I wanted my child to have the access to any questions he may have later in life. The answers that I will never have. I wanted to meet the family we had chosen to make sure they were going to be the right match for us and for the baby. I will never forget that day. My boyfriend and I were so nervous. We had read their profile and loved what we saw. We could almost feel through the pictures and their words that they were the perfect couple for our child. Upon meeting them it was as if God himself had held our hands to lead us to each other. We sat in the Bethany office for 2 hours, talking, laughing, carrying on like we had been old college friends who hadn't seen each other in years. We had so many things in common and so many things different but the main thing we had in common was the well being and love for this precious baby. I wanted them to have the experience of taking the baby home from the hospital and wanted them to be able to see him in the hospital. I wanted it to be as natural as if the adopting mother had given birth to him herself, just without all the pain. On a hot summer day I knew it wasn't long before he made his grand entrance into this world. Sure enough, by 8 pm that night I was headed to the hospital and by 2 am, he was in my arms. A beautiful, gray, big brown eyed, 6 lb baby boy who never cried but maybe once, had graced us with his presence.

The next day the adoptive family came to see their new born son. It was yet again just like a party. We hung out in the hospital room and talked and talked. I don't remember too much at this point, the pain medication is pretty awesome when you have a very easy but rather painful post delivery like I had. I remember though the night before I left the hospital. I sat in the bed with my son singing "Baby of Mine" from Dumbo, a lullaby my mother sang to me when I was a baby, to calm him to sleep. I cried and cried that night. We watched as the nurse laid him down in his bassinet to go to sleep before he took his journey to his new home with his new family to begin his new and wonderful life. The next day the nurse brought him in for the last time so we could say goodbye. We took pictures, told him how much we loved him and sent him off with Nancy.

After months and months of communicating through pictures and letters, the bond between us and the family had grown into an extension of our own family and just when we thought everything had begun to settle down and return to normal, I found out I was pregnant again. I was mortified. Not only was I pregnant, I was 31 weeks pregnant when I got the news. I never had any symptoms, never had any indication I was expecting again. We immediately called Nancy. We were still struggling to make ends meet and could barely afford to feed ourselves, much less our two cats. We had to come up with a plan and fast! In the first selection of profiles, just like with the first family, we kept looking at this one couple. The same feelings came flooding back to both of us. We never said which one felt the most to either of us until the end when we said "Okay, I think this one". We had both picked the same couple just like the first time. Every word, every picture just spoke to our hearts and once again God led us to this amazing couple. We met them and explained to them about our situation and that we had picked them. The meeting went exactly the same way. We left 2 hours later feeling like we had met up with old friends after years of being apart. It all felt so natural. I was in communication with my son's mother the whole time and Nancy actually came with me for the gender reveal at the doctor. Once again, on a warm summer night I gave birth to a stunningly beautiful baby girl. Everything went smoothly with the delivery, the parents came in to meet their new addition. We hung out in the hospital room playing music, talking and laughing and enjoying this precious baby. I arranged for an open adoption again so that if she had any questions, she would have the answers. I sang the same lullaby to her, even though she slept through most of her stay, unlike her brother. I never let her leave my arms except for when my boyfriend held her or it was time for the nurse to take her. I watched as the nurse laid her down the last night we were there. The next day wasn't as easy as the first time.

After the birth of my daughter, I began to wonder, why doesn't anything work out for me? Why is it that so many of my friends can have babies and have them with them and watch them grow. Would I ever get to the point of my life that I could have a child of my own? Why couldn't I have what I want? Then I realized, God was not punishing me, he was giving me what I needed and what I did always want. I've always wanted a large family and now I will have one. I've always wanted a man who would stand by me through hell and high water. We are one of the very very few couples to make it through, not just one, but two adoptions and are still going strong. I haven't lost my children. I still have the ability to watch them grow into beautiful amazing adults. We have four of the greatest people I have ever met now in our lives. My children later in life will know their brother and sister and will be able to spread the word of adoption and hopefully will give the world a new perspective of what an amazing gift adoption is. People now ask me "how could you do it? How can you just let go and give away your child?" I just smile and say " I didn't". I will always be with them in their hearts. They will never have to question themselves and why they were adopted. They will never have to wonder if they were wanted. They will grow up knowing they are two of the most wanted people on the face of this Earth. They will know they were loved so tremendously that I had to do what I did to give them the life they deserve.

I will now have the amazing family I have always wanted. I have a better understanding of my own adoption and have as much closure with my issues as I will ever have. God gave me the ability to give back for the gift I was given almost 30 years ago. Call it life, call it the cosmic universe, call it the work of God, whatever your beliefs, whatever your thoughts, there is one undeniable fact - that you will be tested throughout your life. What you make of the test and what you make of yourself is all up to you. My personal belief, God most certainly works in mysterious ways. It is up to you to open your eyes and see the gifts and the blessings brought to you. Appreciate them, love them but above all else, recognize them.

Amy's Story {God Gave Us Love}

Amy and I have a mutual connection.  She reached out to me years ago as we both struggled with our longing to grow our families.  God has been good to both of us...and in July, we both welcome precious baby girls into our families.  In very different ways.  Our girls are a constant reminder to us both of His faithfulness and perfect plan.  Amy is reaching out to you today as you long to grow your own families.  Please take a moment to read her story and connect with her!

I have not adopted a baby. I have not waited for "the call" or submitted mountainous dossiers. And I will certainly not pretend to know what it's like to walk that road. I mean...major respect, you guys. But I believe that God has called us to step into each other's stories, to imagine what it’s like to walk that road, and to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. 



My husband and I went through a season of infertility. Our journey through that deep darkness lasted almost three years. Not terribly short but not crazy long either. Time is so relative isn't it? During those years I was so heart sick. I wanted it to be over. I wanted my baby. I wanted God and I wanted heaven. We prayed long and hard about adoption. We knew that it was something we felt called to do. But when? When was our time? Should we foster?

"I would love a sweet South Korean baby" I told God.

I read the books. I stalked the blogs. I emailed Megan. It's all I could think about some days. But God never gave us peace to start the process. I was going through some infertility treatments and knew our time in that part of the journey was about to come to an end. God ended up allowing me to get pregnant on our third IUI. And I was a little bit floored. I was ready for the answer to be, "Start the paperwork to adopt" but it wasn't. 



Our little girl is 18 months old. She was born the day after Millie Janalee. I often think about our two girls. How our journeys were so different and why God didn't flip flop our circumstances. And the truth is, I don't know. But I trust Him. Because Millie Janalee needed her mama and Emma needed hers. The way our stories weave and intersect and display the gospel is so beautiful. God knew these two little people and how they would come to be placed in our families. And he is good. And his way is just right.  The fact that Jesus cares so much about the heartache we feel is breathtaking to me. He was crushed for us and He took our punishment so that as mamas and wives we can know Him, be comforted in our pain, and display his glory. And one of the ways he does that is through the way he grows our families. 



Going through infertility flipped a switch in me. It made me wide awake to suffering and it has caused me to want to pour my energy into praying for waiting families of all kinds. During the time I was going through all of this my best friend's little boy went to heaven at 41 weeks. I have been made so aware of what losing and missing a child feels like and my heart cannot forget it. And so I have a list on my phone of girls who are waiting for/missing their babies. I pray over this list often and try to encourage girls who are in the wilderness of waiting. I recently posted this post on Facebook:


I was amazed as message after message began to pour in. "Please pray for me" "we've been trying since..." "I know God has great things in store but please pray."



If you are waiting for your sweet baby I would love to pray for you. I love to see how God answers these prayers and it is the least I can do after so many prayed for me. I may not be in the trenches of the wait any more and I may have gotten pregnant and maybe that makes me seem unrelateable (or maybe not). Believe me, I totally get it. But sister, I want to lift you up because I know what it's like to cry out to God in pain. Our struggles are all different but pain is pain, you know what I mean?

 

Robert (my awesome husband) and I don't know what's next. We are praying about foster care. We are praying about International adoption. We are praying about more infertility treatments. Just all of it! So who knows! We are excited to obey God and we trust Him as we continue to grow our little family. 



Please email me if I can pray for you and add your family to my list! Amy_ekis@yahoo.com