**Update: I decided to run! I've gotta get this breathing thing under control!

Since Russ is on call today, I had to do a little medical research alone. I have asked all around about this discomfort I've been feeling since yesterday. It felt like the back of my hipbone, but I knew it had to be a muscle. It only hurts when I'm laying on my side. I can feel it at other times, but I wouldn't call it a "pain." This morning, I wondered if I had already injured myself like I have been warned time and time again! I have been told to "go slow to avoid injury." I would be so mad if I already injured myself without even running more than 30 seconds to a minute at a time!

My research found that my problem lies in my piriformis muscle. Basically, my butt hurts! The above picture shows where the discomfort occurs, and you can see it is on my boo-tay! Of course! The perfect injury for me! As if I'm not feeling silly enough trying to make sure my arms are swinging, hands unclenched, feet hitting correctly...basically looking semi-normal while running - in my cute new running wardrobe of course! Anyway, I have researched several stretching exercises I will be doing for the next few days. What I'm not sure about is if I can still run on it today. It's not hurting, and I'm going to continue stretching it. I only walked yesterday. I'll ask my "coach" about that one. Roan? Hopefully the worst of that piriformis problem is "behind" me!!!

Now, the other issue I have found may make you laugh after hearing about my bottom. After my SHORT bouts of running, I have been wheezing for a little while. It doesn't last long, but it's there. There was one time when it was worse than the others, and I felt constricted in my chest. Russ is considering the possibility of "exercise-induced asthma." Seriously?! Have you ever seen a runner run in a 5K with an inhaler!?!? What a dork I will be! Although, I have been informed of some remedies. One bit of advice was to take a Claritin before running. Russ said not to take any pain meds before running, and perhaps use the inhaler before and after.

So, here I go - training for my 5K with an injury to the buttocks and breathing like a fat lady in Spanx! Oh wait! I DID wear Spanx just last week! Perfect!!!

Day of Rest

Run/Walking!

Today is Day 7 of my "training." So far, so good...I think. I began running some on Wednesday, and I'm doing better each day. I started on the treadmill, but I just knew I was going to fly off the back! So, I began walk/running in my very HILLY neighborhood! Today, it was so beautiful outside, I could hardly wait for Russ to get home and get out and walk/run. Russ just got a new camera that he has been talking about since last summer! So, we walked the trails around the Natchez Trace. It was very pretty, and the weather was perfect! I was the only person in sleeveless and shorts, but that's okay. By the time I finished, I was burning up! Yes, Russ did walk and run with me on my cue. He definitely carried his backpack with his camera to take a few shots. Most of them are terrible! Not because of his photography skills, but because I had no makeup and an awful "running face." I'll have to work on that! Ha!

My hair was greased down on my head since I had not washed it before running. Thankfully, Russ had his cap in the car.

After our run/walk, we went downtown to eat lunch at Rooster's. Then, we walked around the capital, and Russ took some pictures with his new camera.



It has been a very fun and gorgeous day!

Take that out of your vocabulary!

Some days school takes everything out of me. Some days I wonder WHY in the world I'm torturing myself so. Some days I'm so tired that I take a nap in my car in the garage just because I can't move one more muscle to get out of the car. And, then, some days are just plain fun! I'm not saying that today was a "fun day" due to the school-wide MCT2 Mock Testing we've been doing. But, it did have a fun part.

As buses were being called this afternoon, I still had a couple of buses that had not come yet. One student said, "Man, our bus always be late!" One of my fellow teachers was in the room and did like all good teachers do...said, "Excuse me?" The kids kept talking, and out of habit, continued to say things like, "We be riding home..." "They be saying..." "Who be out there..." Finally, Mrs. Taylor told the kids to take the word "be" out of their vocabulary all together. She joked saying that even when they see a bee flying around, they should just call it a buzzing insect. I told them even when they are talking about the letter "B," they should just say, "You know. That letter with a top hump and a booty." The kids got a kick out of that. A few minutes later, I had the kids tell Mrs. Taylor how well they did on their nine weeks tests. Shanora (literally 3 feet tall probably!) says, "I got all A's and a top hump with a booty!" She was so happy about her A's and [B's]. Of course, we were doubled over with laughter! I love moments like that!!

Shanora is the one in the middle.

In fact, I think I'll walk/run outside today just because of that comment!

He Is With You

I don't know how many of you follow MckMama's blog, but I have been following it since before her youngest child was born this winter. Stellan was diagnosed with major heart problems in utero. His doctors assured MckMama that he would not live. However, after thousands of prayer warriors joined the MckMama family in prayer, Stellan was born without a trace of problems with his tiny heart. He was perfect...a normal baby boy. This week, Stellan was taken to the ER for respiratory problems. These problems, along with treatment, led to Supra Ventricular Tachycardia. His heart has been going in and out of SVT ever since. The doctors have been unable to regulate his heart for any length of time. Today, Stellan flipped into V-Tach, which can be deadly...especially in babies. As I think about and pray for this little life, I am in awe of his mother's unwavering faith and peace. You absolutely MUST go over to MckMama's blog and read this story. Add this family to your prayer list for sure!




After downloading the new Mandisa album last night, I have listened to it several times already. My sister-in-law texted me tonight to point out one particular song. She told me that it really puts things into perspective. I'm sure she told me this to encourage me in our infertility journey. However, when I played it while reading the lyrics, I immediately thought of MckMama and Stellan. How amazing to have the faith and know that He is with you no matter the situation! We can ALL relate to this song. Please take a listen and read the words as you do. It's incredible!


---------Sorry! This is the only video I could find!


He Is With You

There’s a time to live
And a time to die
There’s a time to laugh
And a time to cry
There’s a time for war
And a time for peace
There’s a hand to hold
In the worst of these

He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can’t even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn’t kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby’s gone
And your house is still, and your heart’s a stone
Cryin’ God, what’d You do that for
He is with you

There’s a time for yes
And a time for no
There’s a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There is a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don’t know you anymore
He is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don’t know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light

He is with you when your kids are grown
When there’s too much space and you feel alone
And you’re worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes He is with you when you’ve given up
On ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left
And you take your final breath
He is with you

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

"I will never leave you, nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

I'm Still Going!

Okay...I'm still going strong with this training thing. I am still walking, but my speed is getting faster. I'm walking 30 minutes and trying to increase my speed each day. My goal is to be jogging some next week following the 30/30 Plan. Now, take note that I have only ever jogged to my car. And even then, only when it rains! So, this jogging thing may sound easy to you...but not to me. In fact, I asked one of my coworkers today and Russ tonight, "What do I do with my arms when I run?" So silly! I think I did run some when I cheered in Jr. High - 12 years ago! I'm pretty sure that was only around the basketball court once or twice! I am very excited about it though! For the first time I am actually enjoying it and looking forward to my 30 minutes. I wanted to keep going tonight, but realized that it was bedtime. (And, here I am on the computer!) I have invested in running clothes - special thanks to Roan's suggestion in a very literal (for beginners) email! Russ is taking me to get fitted for running shoes tomorrow. I am a little nervous about that because I understand I may have to run for them to see what I need. Hopefully, my arms will know what to do!


In the meantime, I've been getting my iPod prepared each day for motivation. Russ's sister texted me today to let me know that Mandisa has a new album out. I love her! So, I immediately got on iTunes to check it out, and I LOVED it!!! I uploaded the entire album. It is perfect for running/walking! Most of the songs on the album are upbeat and just make you feel good. Another one of my favorites is "Ooh Ahh" by Grits. I always love when this one comes on the radio...I turn it up and shake what I can while driving. Now, for the rest of my music, my students would be so proud! I've picked up on some of the songs I've heard them singing - with the exception of "Stanky Leg!"

What's on your iPod? Any good ideas to keep me goin'?

New Recipe

Well, I was blog-hopping (as Roan calls it) yesterday and came across a new recipe that looked good, and it looked simple enough for me to try! What do you think?

Teriyaki Tenderloin

Ingredients:
• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 1/4 cup Domino® or C&H® Granulated Pure Cane Sugar
• 2 tablespoons ketchup
• 1 pork tenderloin (1 pound)

Directions:
In a large resealable plastic bag, combine the soy sauce, sugar and ketchup. Add the pork tenderloin; seal bag and turn to coat. Refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight. Drain and discard marinade. Place pork in a greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking dish. Bake, uncovered, at 425° for 35-40 minutes or until a meat thermometer reads 160°. Let stand for 5 minutes before slicing. Yield: 4 servings.

Taking off the Mask

I am taking someone else's words today. I read this at Beth Moore's blog. I related to this story so well...except the "I'm a mother" part. Sometimes I wonder if I should share my struggles with others in such a public format - or one on one, for that matter. This story reminds me of times when I felt alone in my struggles, longing for someone who understands. I have decided to "get REAL," and by doing so, maybe I can help someone else feel like there is someone else. You are not alone! We can learn from and lean on each other. Please take the time to read this!

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When I was a teenager, I would look at the other kids at church and think I had absolutely nothing in common with them. They must all love being there every Sunday and Wednesday and never fight their parents about going. They must never wish they could do all the things their friends at school were doing. They must never sit on the row and be insecure because they weren't sure if their church friends were going to talk to them that day. They must have it all together.

There was even one day in Sunday school in 10th grade when we divided into stations to talk about issues teenagers faced. I went to the station on peer pressure and to my absolute shock, I was the only one! That further reinforced my belief that I alone was being pulled in by the undertow. Over time, with no one I felt I could relate to on the shore, I gave in to the strong current.

What grieves me now is that other kids were going through some of the same stuff I was, at least to an extent, but no one was talking about it. I didn't know. Many of us felt isolated in our secret struggles, whatever they might have been. Late in my senior year (which was the low point for me), I was at a party with some friends and a girl from my church was there. I didn't know her very well at the time. She told my boyfriend to spill some dirt on me because it was killing her to think I could be so perfect. Are you kidding me? Partly because of who my mom was, and partly because it's in our nature to think everyone else has it altogether but us, she had this very, very false perception that I didn't struggle.

Her words haunted me for the next year. I felt so bad that she had the wrong idea and that I had allowed the masquerade to persist. Eventually, the guilt got to me and I invited this friend to meet me for lunch. During our time together I was finally able to take off the mask. At that point I was a freshman in college and the Lord was delivering me out of the pit I had been in. Thankfully, I was also able to share the work He was currently doing in my life.

That friend was one of the first people I ever shared those struggles with. It was not easy for me, but it felt so good to be real with her. It marked a turning point in my life toward authenticity. I've found that it does me no good to surround myself with pretenders and it does others no good for me to be a pretender.

Two weeks ago Curtis and I were at a very low place in our parenting experience. Jackson's behavior had brought us to our knees and we felt hopeless. Annabeth was at my parents' house and we were driving in the car with him to Wednesday night church. Both of us were in tears because we were so frustrated. I asked Curt if this is how it was going to be for the next 15 years - us hating ourselves because we feel like failures and not even recognizing who we'd become. Neither one of us wakes up in the morning hoping we can spend the whole day disciplining our three-year-old, you know? We were seriously at our wits end.

Curt, trying to console me a bit, told me that his best friend had recently asked him how things were going with our two. Curt had told him that things were fine. His friend's reply was, "Thank God. If you'd told me things were good, I don't know what I would have done." Our friends are also in the trenches with their newborn and their two-year-old son. What if Curt had told him everything was great even though it wasn't? All four of us would have felt alone and like failures.

That night after Bible study, our Sunday school teacher and his wife summoned all the couples from our class over to a table. In tears, he shared a struggle they were having with their three-year-old daughter. They were at their wits end. They felt hopeless. Like failures. He literally said they wondered if this is how it was going to be for the next 15 years.

So we're not the only ones? We're not the only ones!

Curt raised his hand and said, "Us too!"

We were able to spend some time praying for one another. I can't tell you how encouraged Curtis and I felt. We had walked into church that night in despair and we left with hope.

You know what's crazy? That very night we saw a change in our son. And since then, his heart has been a little softer and a little quicker to respond to discipline. We saw the hand of God move in our situation - from our friends' vulnerability that let us know we weren't alone to our kid's softened heart.

People need us to be real. Of course, I don't mean "real" to the point that we're trying to shock others with our sin nature. We don't need to let it all hang out. I have struck out many times on this. We must be Spirit-filled to walk the fine line.

When we're authentic, two things happen. One, we encourage others who are struggling in the same way. And two, we allow ourselves to be encouraged by others who have been there.

I was once an incredibly self-righteous person. I was proud of being good. Then God let me eat it and I saw what was really in my heart. There was nothing good there. I learned to surrender my weak self to Jesus every single day and let Him change my heart. If I stopped doing that, I'd turn right back into my old self. That is the scariest thought ever. The stakes are especially high now that I'm a wife and a mother. So I no longer care to portray a false sense of goodness or perfection. I want to show others that He is good and He has is all together. He can take a heart that craves sin and make it thirst for righteousness. He can take a Failure and make her a Victor. He can take our struggles and turn them into strengths. That's what He's done for me, what He's doing for me, and what He'll keep doing for me until He takes me home.

For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. (2 Corinthians 4:5-7)

I'm Committed!

You may remember the day last week when I left Old Navy with a much larger pant size and went to join a gym immediately. Well, I have been trying to stay true to my commitment. I soon realized that I have very little self-discipline! I needed a goal or something to work for that will commit me to this daily gym routine. Russ is on call today, so I went to the gym alone - he will be shocked to find this out. When I was on the treadmill, it dawned on me. When I left the gym, I was happy to have found a solution to my lack of self-discipline.

Me leaving the gym...after finding the solution to my problem. Happy!

I can register for a 5K! That is something small and attainable for me. Who knows? It might even be fun! The only 5K races that I found nearby were during vacation weeks. I was looking for summer races. We are going to San Francisco with Russ's brother and family. I knew that could not be moved. I just made reservations for Russ and I to go to Seaside this summer also. One race fell on the day we were scheduled to leave. I called the Cottage Rental Company and moved our vacation back one day so I could register. This is serious! I texted Russ, and he was very excited. I registered us both in the G.I. Associates 5K. It is a new addition to the Renaissance at Colony Park Half-Marathon, which was Mississippi's largest race last year.

So...I'm committed!

I went to Roan's blog because I remembered her having "beginner runner" advice. I found a website that will get me to beginning runner status. That's correct. I'm definitely NOT a runner yet! I can run to my car and be completely out of breath! I am currently working on the 30/30 plan. Then, once I've gotten used to jogging or running short distances, I plan to move onto Training for My First 5K. If you're interested in joining me on this journey of running for fitness, maybe those websites will be useful to you.

And maybe...just maybe...I'll be able to fit a swimsuit over this big booty by the time we leave for Seaside! That's the goal anyway!

"Walking in Memphis"...just not immediately!

That's right! Match Day has come and gone! Thank goodness!! As my mother would say, "Whooooo whooooo!" Our day began with a nice breakfast at River Hills Country Club. It was wonderful! However, I was too nervous to eat much at all! By the time everything was over, I was starving!!! While we were at breakfast, my mom went on over to UMC to save seats. I'd say she got there around 8:00 and made friends, as usual! We came on over around 9:45. Russ seemed to be enjoying himself while I sat with knots in my stomach, unable to breath due to the Spanx, and an incredible urge to make a quick bathroom stop but couldn't bare the thought of taking the Spanx off and than back on! Way too difficult! So, I sat and waited...tapping my foot the entire time. Of course, while we waited I took a few pictures to remember the day!

Russ and me when we first found our seats

Almost the whole crew - Russ, me, my mom and Russ's mom

Me and Mama - she loves getting places early and saving the BEST seats available! Thanks Mama!

The proud parents

Felicia, Pat, Russ and me

Then, it was time to begin! Now, let me just give you the rundown so that you can better understand my anxiety! After showing a fifteen minute video about the history of UMC, several people spoke. I think they were very nice speeches. However, I could not tell you what any of them were about because I wasn't really listening. I just wanted to know WHERE we were going!!! When the results finally began, we all just took a deep breath.

This is how Match Day works: One person draws a name for the first person to walk up to the front. Each person drops $5 in a doctor bag, draws another name (to follow), takes his results, walks up to the microphone, and reads the results to over 500 people! Oh my! I would die if I had to do all that! All the while, not knowing where you will be matched. After that person reads their results, they walk over and place a pin in the map where they will be doing their residency. Then, the next person (who was drawn) is called. This goes on for all 96 people! Now...in case you're wondering what in the world the $5 is for, let me tell you. The person who has sat patiently through all the other 95 names wins a consolation prize, I suppose, of nearly $500!! Not a bad deal, right? Well, that wasn't Russ, Thank goodness! I could not have sat that long.

So, Russ's name was called. Mama and me took a deep breath - fairly audible, I would say. Russ did great! He dropped his money, drew another name, took his placement, and walked to the microphone to announce his results. I'll give you one clue.

"Walking in Memphis

Walking with my feet 10 feet off of Beale

Walking in Memphis

Do I really feel the way I feel?"

Yep! Russ was matched for his radiology residency at Baptist in Memphis!!! Yay! That was our first choice! We won't go immediately to Memphis. Russ will do a preliminary year in internal medicine here. Then, it's off to Memphis! After Russ's turn, I was really able to enjoy the day! I was cheering and laughing as everyone read off their results.

Class of 2009

A happy couple after Match Day

I think Russ's parents are really excited about us being closer to home! His dad even said they were going to finish up the guest room for us! Check out their blog for more pictures.

Congratulations, Russ and Class of 2009!!!

Hallelujah!!

A couple of weeks ago, during the chaos of testing at school, identifying the person who forged $750 on my account, finishing the floors, dealing with the early miscarriage, and having house guests...my phone mysteriously separated. When I say separated, I mean completely broke into two pieces - attached only by a thin cord. It still worked for a day or two. Then, all of a sudden - nothing! Eventually, it completely broke into two completely different objects! I mean, I feel NAKED without my cell phone!!!


I couldn't text or receive messages! I was miserable! What if Roan needed to ask me a question?! What if Dustin gets lost on his way to my house!? Russ did let me use one of his old phones in the meantime. However, I was still frustrated because it was much more difficult to use. Thankfully, one of our phones in our plan was due an upgrade and I was able to order a new phone! When you order online, you receive FREE shipping, a rebate, and a discounted price - not to mention the fact that you don't have to enter and WAIT in an AT&T store. Not fun! Well, it came in today!!!!!!!! Yay!!! I'm so happy!!!



Yes, I broke down and ordered a Blackberry. My mom got this phone a few weeks ago, and I made fun of her so bad because - well - you just should have seen her trying to work it! Then, I go off and order one for myself! Yes, she just rolled her eyes. I spent the evening trying to figure out the buttons. Namely, how to turn it on and make a call! I talked to my mom and told her I was still trying to figure out how to work this phone. She busted out laughing, saying "Oh really!?"

I have now figured out the main functions and am ready to text the minute we find out the results of Match Day. Which of the five places we ranked will it be? Results will be announced at 11:00 tomorrow morning! Stay tuned....

Wonderful Wednesday

I was inspired by Kelly over at Kelly's Korner to post about some of my PRAISES. There is so much negativity going on these days, and we need to continually remind ourselves of our blessings. I'm giving Him PRAISE today!


For a wonderful, Christian husband and best friend...



For an incredibly supportive, loving, and FUN family...



For being a Bulldog fan when they became SEC Champions...


And, I certainly cannot end this post without PRAISING Him for such a beautiful day!! It's amazing to watch the changing of the seasons! Thank you Jesus!

What are you PRAISING Him for today?

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

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I DID NOT allow my 8, 9, and 10 year old students to show me how to do the "Stanky Leg!" I would never allow children to move in such a way. That is totally inappropriate! And I most certainly wouldn't let them show me the dance as we listened to 99 JAMS. Do you really know any teacher that would allow that behavior in their classroom?!

I DID NOT leave Old Navy, where I discovered my new and much larger pant size, and race to the nearest gym to purchase a membership! There is no way that I would let myself go that much! And it would never be so bad that panic would ensue. Absolutely not!

After finding the gym was closed, I DID NOT drive straight to the grocery store to purchase yet more food. And, while I was NOT at the grocery store, I did not take the advice of a new blog friend, Abby, and purchase these! I don't need to watch my weight! I didn't eat one pack of three cupcakes only to find myself wanting to eat the whole box, either! (Seriously, I didn't eat the whole box...just wanted to!)


I DID NOT lay in bed Saturday until 10:00! I would never sleep that late! Teachers always wake up early - even on the weekends - right? And, I most definitely DID NOT get out of bed only to lay on the couch and watch one of the 3 movies I rented Friday. Me? Lazy? Never!

With only two days until my in-laws visit, I DID NOT spend the beginning of my Spring Break washing and folding two weeks' worth of laundry. I would never let dirty clothes pile up so! Besides, I NEVER freak out and go on a cleaning spree, becoming impossible to live with, when we have house guests! I am not that "anal."

I AM NOT worried about taking Farley to the groomer's this morning because his parents have failed to brush him since his last bath - whenever that was! I am NOT hoping that they have mercy on us and don't call the Humane Society! I would never neglect my baby in that way!


I DID NOT spend Sunday afternoon with my eyes glued to the television when the Dawgs beat Tennessee during the SEC championship, securing a spot in the NCAA tournament. And, during the last 20 minutes of the game, it was NOT so exciting that I gradually moved closer and closer to the television so that I could make sure not to miss a single play. And for pete's sake, my dad and I would NEVER text back and forth during such a game. He did not text "Dang right!" and "Shoot!" My mom would never take the effort to figure out how to text on her new blackberry to text "Whooooooo whooooooo!!!!!!" My parents are too old to text! That would never happen!

And, finally, it is absolutely, positively NOT Match Day on Thursday! I am certainly NOT a nervous wreck as I wait to see where Russ and I will spend the next five years of our lives during his residency! I am NOT the kind of person that needs a plan for my future. I've never been that way! Not me!

What have you NOT done this week?

Fun Friday

I want to express my thanks for all the emails, phone calls, and precious comments on my earlier post. I feel blessed beyond measure, and I know God hears our prayers. He answers those who call to Him according to His will. Your prayers mean more than you know!

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Since I'm so excited about Spring Break (Woo hoo!), I decided to post some Fun Friday pictures! Enjoy!

Even teachers need a fun day! Ha!

Not exactly sure what's going on here!
Smith Panama City Beach Vacation

I never knew I could have this much fun with MY MOM and her friends! This is our first "Ya Ya Bachelorette Party." Natalie and I are official Ya Ya Juniors now! Ha!

My parents have still got it! A little frightening, I know!

We have the coolest kid ever!

What are some of your Fun Friday memories?

Praying for More...

"There is no way to learn of faith except through trials. They are God's school of faith, and it is much better for us to learn to trust Him than to live a life of enjoyment. And once the lesson of faith has been learned, it is an everlasting possession and an eternal fortune gained. Yet without trust in God, even great riches will leave us in poverty."

Faith. That is what I'm learning. God has worked in my life so much this last year. This is going to be a very personal post, but one that I feel God wants me to share. Russ and I began trying for a baby in May of 2006. We did not share our decision with anyone. Still, almost three years later, only a handful of people know. In the last year and a half I have had surgery, began seeing an infertility specialist, taking meds, been tested, poked, and prodded, and been through five aggressive additional treatments. So far, all has been unsuccessful. In February, we were thrilled to see a positive test...only to find out five days later that I had apparently had a "biochemical pregnancy" (something tried to happen, but failed) and an early miscarriage.

During the last year and a half of actually seeing a specialist and getting help from "modern science," I had become extremely discouraged. I went from hope when we first saw Dr. Hines, to disappointment when the meds didn't work, to depression when the next five treatments failed. All of these feelings are universal, I'm sure, for those who have plans for their life that happen to be different from God's. If I were completely honest, I would have to say that for a while I was bitter - almost angry - with God. I just didn't understand why He would not grant me the one thing I've wanted all my life! What had I done to make God want to punish me so? Being the stubborn person that I am, it took a year and a half of these feelings for me to FINALLY come back to the only One who can give me hope again. The only One who sacrificed His very own son to cleanse me of my sins. The only One who knows the number of hairs on my head and understands my pain. You may remember my earlier post about Becoming a Woman of Prayer. This was the beginning of me giving it completely over to God. Yes, I'd like to think I had done that before. But, I had not. As I got on my knees for those 28 days of February, I was giving it to Him and praying with persistence for Him to grant me this request.

After this last month, it was almost like God was saying, "You're doing better. But, I want more." Through a new commitment to my quiet time with Him and reading His Word more, I am understanding more and more the importance of faith. I am comforted by His Word, and I am comfortable laying it all at His feet. Don't get me wrong. I'm still completely heartbroken each time I discover that it's "not time yet." But I know in my heart that His plan is perfect and SO much more than I could ever imagine. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.

I gotta have faith!

So, for now....

We are Johnson Party of Two

...praying for more!

Please keep us in your prayers as we continue on this journey God has set before us. Pray that we cling to one another for comfort and enjoy the time we have with just the two of us. Pray for our patience and understanding as the emotions of the journey take over. And, most of all, please pray that we continue to have faith that God hears our prayers, and he will give us what we ask if we pray according to His will.

“And this is the confidence that we have toward Him,

that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us.

And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask,

we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.” 1 John 5:14-15

I can't wait to see what God's plan is for our lives!

"God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine." Eph. 3:20

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

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I DID NOT wake up this morning only to find out that it was 8:00, when my students enter the classroom at 7:30!!! I would never do something so irresponsible as to forget to set my alarm. And, I certainly WAS NOT on the interstate by 8:15 and at school by 8:30! It would be insane to move that fast! If that did happen, which it DID NOT, I would have at least taken a shower! I would never start my week off so terribly stinky! Nope! Not me!

Russ and I DID NOT eat out every single night last week and this weekend because of a lack of groceries! I am a much better wife than that! I would never procrastinate on such a trip!

Kelly and I DID NOT sleep on a mattress on the floor this weekend. My roommate DID NOT pack up her entire house only to find out the day before she moved that the sale fell through, causing her two roomies to sleep on the floor. That would never happen!

I DID NOT upload Spice Girls onto my iPod, along with "Mmmm Bop" and "No Diggety." I would never listen to those songs and actually enjoy them - singing and dancing to every word! Not me!

MSU DID NOT beat Ole Miss 82-80 Saturday. And, I'm certainly not rubbing it in to any Ole Miss fans. I would never do that!

I DID NOT put all six of Farley's toys away only to walk back into the living room seconds later to find ALL six toys back out. He didn't carry his dog bed in there just to top it off! He would never do such a thing!

And, I most certainly DID NOT vote for four of my favorite dancers on Dancing With the Stars! I would never waste precious text messages on something like that! No way! Not me!

What have you NOT done this week?

A Night With the Roomies!

Last night, one of my college roommates was in town. So Kelly, Nikki, and I went out to dinner and had a fun night! We met at Mint, a newer restaurant in Renaissance Mall. It was very good! We hung out there for a while before heading over to my house to pick up some pajamas, a pillow, blanket, and Farley (of course!). Russ was on call last night, so we shacked at Nikki's. Her husband just got over the flu, so I'm pretty sure I'll be coming down with it soon. Ha! Hope not! Anyway, we had a great time catching up and just being, well, CRAZY!! It was like old times ...except that there was a boy there! Growing up is just plain awful! Ha! Kelly and I enjoyed and are used to being alone since our husbands are still in law and medical school. Husbands? Where? Ha! Just kidding! I love my husband who will be in college for a total of 13 years. Of course, we took MANY pictures! I've posted some of the less embarrassing ones here:

Me, Nikki, and Kelly at Mint

Me, Kelly, Farley, and Nikki at Nikki's

Roomies!

Who needs boys when you can spoon with your roomies!?!? Typical of our apartment in Starkville!

I had a great time girls! Can't wait 'til that beach trip! Get busy on that Kelly! Love you!