"Tonight, Heaven gained a most humble, gentle, and precious angel. Our Pops went Home. We are heartbroken and so deeply sad. We are also filled with JOY as we imagine the welcome he received from Nonnie. I'm sure they danced together as she showed him the way to Jesus. They are holding hands, no doubt, wading in the ocean waves and enjoying the view of the Great Smokey Mountains from above. And I'm also pretty sure Pops told Nonnie alllll about our sweet Millie Janalee and the newest great-grandbaby on the way. What a reunion it must've been! Please keep our family in your prayers as we grieve and feel this empty hole..."

Those were the words on my Facebook status on the night of April 9. It was a heartbreaking night filled with tears, sobs at times, and lots of phone calls and silence. It was a night that we knew would come sooner than we wanted, and it was a night angels rejoiced I'm sure. April 9 was the night that my Pops was no more a part of this earthly, sinful world. He was experiencing the glory that is before all of us as believers. We didn't feel like celebrating...although, deep in our hearts we were. We were celebrating Pops' reunion with Nonnie, him seeing our Father face to face, and the healed and renewed body he now has.
It was a blessing. But, it's still hard. Very hard.
There were a couple of main things that helped us through a tender goodbye. One of those were our dear, sweet, precious friends. I don't know if you've ever had a family funeral hours away from home. All our family is from the Jackson area, so our family funerals are there. We've only had one that I remember well at all, and that was a few short years ago when my Nonnie passed away. But, when you are mourning the loss of a cherished and special family member and grieving terribly, there is just something so incredibly touching about the bear hug and eye contact of a familiar face. My grandparents have touched lives throughout their years, and the funeral home was filled with those men and women, high school friends, coworkers, church members. It means so much to see those people honor Pops and paying their respects. Many times, we forget that funerals are not for the deceased. They are too busy celebrating and praising God with the angels! Funerals are for the loved ones left behind. For my immediate family, I can tell you that seeing those familiar faces from "home" and those lifelong friends from near and far helped us through this tender goodbye.
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| Maw Maw's best friend with Millie Janalee |
My parents have been there for SO many. Too many to count. They have hugged, comforted, cried alongside, been there for crisis, stayed at the hospital for endless hours (in and out of town), and buried so many dear friends and even the families of those friends. Not because my dad is a pastor. Because he and my mom love people. He doesn't minister as a part of his job...they minister to
people because they love people. As a daughter, it was beyond special to see so many give my parents a turn to be comforted. Not by a small statement emailed, texted, or messaged. Although those are special too. But comforted with an actual hug, touch, and even some tears. Half the staff/ministers from our hometown church traveled the long distance to reach out to each and every one of us. They even sought me out in the corner rocking a sleeping baby hiding my heavy heart behind the stuffed animal giraffe and open-mouthed babe. One of them traveled the four hours after an all-night lock-in with the youth...with absolutely no sleep. One of them traveled the distance alone just to speak to us and turn right around to go back home so she could return before dark. Others hugged us, visited with us, and gave us a taste of comfort in being "home" with them. The always faithful group was there from 1:30 until after the 3:00 funeral...just to
be there for us. A mother and her daughter stopped by on their way to visit seminary in New Orleans. Several who wanted desperately to be there were out of town. Some who couldn't travel the distance sent plants or floral arrangements. Please know those kind acts are remembered. I can name their names right now, and I can tell you that we all went from plant to plant reading the cards. Even the special friends we have who live in town made arrangements to be there, and it meant so much. Leaving a once-a-year event to celebrate Pops' life with us...even all the way to the cemetery.
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| Millie Janalee, Clancy, Aunt Patsy, and Karen |
Let me say that these precious acts of comfort will always be remembered. Just as I remember them from my Nonnie's funeral. It is during times like these that you see the
real in people. The "I'll drop everything and be there for you" in people. True and lifelong friendships and relationships. People who you can count on to be there for you...not just in the fun times...but in the hardest of times. Those are the people I want to surround myself with. And that is the kind of person I want to be! Everytime one of these sweet friends touch my life, I am reminded of how I have failed in the "friendship department" so many times. I want to be better.
I want to be there when it counts. Not just when it's fun.
Thank you, dear friends! Thank you for helping us through this tender goodbye! Thank you for the hugs and tears shed for all of us, but especially for my Mama as she said goodbye to the last parent she had on this earth. Thank you for the beautiful plants or flowers sent to the funeral home. They are placed beautifully over Pops' grave now. We drove by the following day just to be sure. The plants have been dispersed among our family as a little "pick-me-up" for the coming days. Thank you for not underestimating the power of being there!
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| Russ, me, Jack, Clancy, Dustin, Kristin, and Lee |
If you know anything about this family, you know that we can laugh through the tears and love through the hurt. One of the biggest things that help us through a tender goodbye is memories. Memories. Something our family works daily to create! After the intimate graveside service, all the grandchildren pulled out some of Pops' prized caps. There is no telling how many of these he owned over the years. Dustin inherited most all of them, and he shared them with us for this occasion. I am certain that Pops and Nonnie were smiling down on us with JOY-filled eyes as they see us trying to make a memory to honor the memories.

When we are gone from this earth, the only thing we leave behind is our legacy and our memories. Nonnie and Pops were #1 in creating and making memories...purposefully or not! I challenge you to sit with my Mama for an hour and let her talk to you non-stop about family vacations and daily life. She will not finish, and you will be sore from laughter. Priceless. I pray that Russ and I create and leave behind these sweet memories for Millie Janalee one day. I pray that she learn how to laugh through her tears and love through her hurt. I pray that she, like my Nonnie and Pops, is joyful always!
"yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habakkuk 3:18
Pops, described as "the greatest man I know" by my Daddy during the funeral, left another precious memory that leaves a lasting impact on us all. Pops left the memory of unfailing, unconditional, and a rare love for his wife and his family. Pops heart has been in Heaven since my Nonnie left us. He has been so lonely. As a child, I never remember a time when Nonnie and Pops weren't holding hands, kissing, laughing together, or making inside jokes. They slept in the "spooning" position with Pops' arm wrapped around Nonnie. Pops sat next to Nonnie and held her hand non-stop the last week of her life. They had been reunited after a long time of separation due to Nonnie's health. Nonnie only lived a week before she passed. Almost as if she was waiting on him before she left.
Click here to read about Nonnie's passing.
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| Daddy, Mama, Millie Janalee, Uncle Howard, and Aunt Patsy |
Pops was a meek, precious, dedicated, loving, strong man. He was a loving husband who I never saw scold or talk down to Nonnie. He was a special Daddy who loved his children. He was a fun and precious grandfather who was there for every school play, dance recital, church program, awards night, and grandparent's lunch in school. He and Nonnie didn't miss a single thing that any of their four grandchildren were a part of. They were there with camera
and video camera in hand. Our whole lives are on tape. Even though we lived four hours away! They were both present until they were moved into assisted living when Nonnie's Alzheimer's became too severe. And after that, Pops was there. He came alone to things when he could...Mother's Day, weddings, etc. Nonnie and Pops (and my dad's parents too!) taught us how to
be there for family. Convenience doesn't matter, because family is what counts. I am so thankful for the memories we have because they were there.
Because of the life Nonnie and Pops led, and the memories they made, our family is very close. We are there for each other when at all possible. We drop what we're doing to be there. My Mama and Uncle Howard are the epitome of being there. They are there for us, and they have been there for Millie Janalee. Distance never matters...even when there are good and solid reasons why they shouldn't travel. We are there for each other if humanly possible, because Nonnie and Pops taught us that family means being there for each other no matter what. I am so thankful for these lessons! Because of these life lessons, Millie Janalee will have a better life...full of memories and family!
Thank you, Pops, for the legacy you left for us and the generations that come after us! Thank you for loving us and hanging on as long as your weary body could! Thank you for your life!
And thank you for helping us through a tender, temporary goodbye.