- Where are ya'll in the process? We are in the waiting stage of the adoption process. We have completed all the paperwork needed, turned in our profiles, and have our online profile on the agency's website. The only thing left for us to do is WAIT. Although I thought this would be the easier part, it turns out to be the most difficult. It's difficult to make future plans. It's difficult to watch other families get placements. It's difficult to see an unknown number pop up on your phone thinking it may be "the call." I have to say that it is also the most exciting part. It's exciting to see families getting placements knowing we could be next. It's exciting to wait for "the call." It's exciting to think that future plans may be interrupted. We are doing our best to wait on God's timing for our itty bitty. It's difficult for sure, but it is also exciting!
- Have ya'll heard anything? No. We haven't heard anything except answers to questions I might email here and there. We were told that we won't hear much of anything until we have been chosen by a birthmother. We should get periodic updates, but nothing major. We do keep up with placements on the Bethany website. There have been several placements the last couple of months. This is unusual but exciting for those families. Some of those families have been waiting over two years. Some had been waiting less than a month. Just goes to show that you never know!
- What is the cost of adoption? Well, that's a difficult question to answer. I can give you estimates based on my research and the agencies we have talked with over the last two years. International adoption can be very expensive...averaging between $30,000-50,000 including travel. Domestic adoption tends to be less, but it is still expensive. Luckily, we live in Mississippi. This is one reason we chose to go through Mississippi's Bethany office instead of Memphis. Mississippi's domestic adoption through Bethany ranges from $8,500-18,000...depending on your income. We have been blessed to have tremendous support from our family and friends (aka...all of YOU) to help minimize our cost. When we moved last year, we chose to live in an apartment to help save up for our adoption as well. There are many ways adoptive families choose to save money for adoption.
- How does a match work? Well, all adoption situations are very different. What will most likely happen is that a birthmother, or birth family, will look through many many profile books. Eventually ours will be chosen. We may be the only family chosen, or we may be one of two or three families chosen. Some birthparents like to interview couples to help choose the family that will raise their child. Some birthparents do not want to meet. Some will choose only us from our profile book. Either way, we will more than likely meet the birthmother, or birth family, at least once. Then, we will work out a plan for openness and communication. I've seen adoptions be so open as the adoptive parents go to doctor appointments with birthparents. I've also seen birthparents choose the adoptive family, but never want to meet them. It all depends on what the birthparents and adoptive parents are open to. We are pretty open, so it will depend on the birthparents. Once we are matched, we will be thrilled! However, this is not final. Nothing is final until the birthparents sign the papers. In Mississippi, this happens three days after birth. In other states, it can be longer. Once those papers are signed, the placement will be final. Adoption is certainly a journey of faith, risk, and unknowns.
- When will the adoption be final? Each agency handles this differently. With Bethany, the adoption is final about six months after the placement. Once the placement occurs and the birthparents sign the papers, our adoption worker will make visits to make sure all is going well. This is just policy. After they make the recommendation, the agency's attorney will begin the work to finalize the adoption. At that time, our names will be on the baby's birth certificate, along with the name we have given him/her. It will be as if the baby was born to us.
- Are you scared the birthmother will change her mind? Well, let's work on getting a match first. Ha! It is always a possibility that the birthparents will change their minds. It's their right. The child belongs to them. Although, there is always that fear. We know that if that happens, the baby was never meant to be ours anyway. We continue to pray for, what we call, "our angel" to allow God to guide her through this process...including allowing Him to guide her as she chooses the forever family for her baby. That's all we can do.
- When do you hope to receive the call? I always have to smile at this question. Of course, we are ready after over five years of waiting to grow our family. However, it is very important during the adoption journey to have realistic expectations. I think every family waiting for a match would love to have their baby in time to celebrate the holidays. And, if I'm honest, I'd have to say that I would love that too! But, I am trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up for anything. I wish my heart would follow my head. Ha! If our baby doesn't arrive in time for the holidays, there will be future holidays to celebrate.
Thank you all for your continued support and prayers!
Praying for more...
2 comments:
Thanks for this post! I've been wondering some of those exact questions! Can't wait to hear you've gotten that call!
:-). Love you!
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