Love at First Sight

Since we all expected Millie Janalee to come early, we were on pins and needles for the remaining days and weeks.  Her due date was July 16, but we were sure she would enter this world earlier.  Every doctor's appointment, the agency called us to give us an update.  Still...waiting.  The closer to her due date, the more anxious I became.  Finally, we received the call that gave us an ending date...The birthmother would be induced July 19th if she didn't go before.  Russ and I were already off work the week of Millie Janalee's birth, so we decided to drive on down to Jackson and stay with friends to keep our minds busy and ease our anxiety.  To be honest, I had what I consider to be a nervous breakdown before leaving town.  It's hard to put into words the emotions, feelings, and doubts that flood your mind when you are waiting on news like this.  In Mississippi, birthparents cannot sign papers until 72 hours after the birth, so we knew nothing would be 100% until those papers were signed.  We also knew these birthparents from our meeting and started praying for them by name that day.  We grieved for them, we smiled for the possibility of parenting such a precious angel, and we cried and fretted over the possibility of "what if."  Just like our journey to become parents...it was completely out of our control.  And totally in His hands!

We stayed with Pat and Felicia, dear friends from med school, Tuesday night.  We intended to have a fun night the following night as we waited on the induction date.  However, Millie Janalee had other plans!

"God made everything beautiful in His time." Ephesians 3:11

Wednesday morning around 8:45, Karen called from Bethany and said, "Megan...It's time."  She told us that the birthmother went in at 6:30 that morning and already had her epidural.  We began texting family for prayers.  By 10:00, Karen called back to say that Millie Janalee was born at 8:58.  She was 6 lbs. 13 oz and 20 inches long.  WOW!  That was fast!  Russ and I were in a state of shock and excitement and prayer.  It was such a surreal feeling.  The rest of the day, the birthparents and their families and friends spent the day meeting their sweet girl.  We would wait until Thursday afternoon to meet her for the first time.

Thursday morning, we loaded up our gifts for the birthparents and our nerves.  We left in time to stop by Sonic for a big sweet tea.  That's all I could do to calm my nerves!  Ha!  We met Karen at the agency and rode together.  Walking up to the hospital room, my mind whirled with what I would say...how I would react.  There is no manual to meeting your child for the first time and balancing your emotions and being there for the birthparents.  But, just like our last meeting, it was a-ma-zing!  Russ and I truly feel so connected to this couple, and we have such a respect for their decision.

As we walked in the room, Millie Janalee threw her arms in the air as if to cheer while the birthmother laughed and said, "Yay!  They're here!"  It was a moment only captured in my heart and memory, but one we will never forget.  There...lying on the hospital bed between her birthmother's legs was a perfectly precious angelic baby girl.  My baby girl.  Love at first sight!

We spent the next two hours holding her, staring at her, passing her back and forth, and talking with the birthparents.  We heard all about her waking up at 4:30 am and coming to the hospital.  We heard about her visitors and all the information she had been given from the hospital.  She was making a stack for us.  So surreal.  We listened to the birthfather play the guitar and sing.  Russ played some too. 

We cried overwhelmed with this sweet moment.  A moment very few will experience, but a moment I wish all people could.  I stared at this sweet face while the guitar played in the background.  We took pictures, and the birthmother took some too.  We exchanged gifts and tears and hugs and kind words.  We left the hospital room...leaving that precious angel with her birthparents.  Not knowing if or when we would see them again.  Whispering prayers as we walked down the halls.

The bottom fell out while we were visiting, so we decided to sit with Karen and get a cup of coffee while waiting for the monsoon to pass.  We received word from the pregnancy counselor that the meeting went great, and the birthmom loves us.  Let me say that Bethany Christian Services made our adoption journey more than special.  Karen, Nancy, Peggy, and Margaret made our journey immeasureably more than we could have ever asked or imagined.  They have such a precious job.  They truly touch the lives of ALL of us involved in adoptions.  I cannot express how much this experience has meant to us and our families.  Immeasurably more. 

"God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!"  Ephesians 3:20