Going to the hospital to take our babies home is always such a bittersweet day.  We are thrilled and excited about taking our baby home.  And we are heartbroken over the thought of the loss that took place minutes before.  There are a mix of emotions, concern for the birthparents and how they were emotionally when they left, excitement for the chance to hold my baby boy in my arms as his mama, and thanksgiving for a journey just beginning.

Since we didn't know the exact time the birthmother would be discharged, and we were two hours away at my parents...we made plans with Nancy to be in Oxford by 11 the next morning.  October 15th.  My mom joined us as our official photographer, and we took some time to window shop and eat lunch on the Square in Oxford.  Oh my, y'all!  There were "Hotty Toddy" signs and "Go Rebs" everywhere.  As we parked our car with a Mississippi State tag.  We just tried not to look.  Ha!  Nancy texted us when both birthparents had said their sweet goodbyes and left the hospital.

We quickly finished our lunch and drove over to the hospital moments after the birthfather left the nursery.  Walking in together carrying the same carrier Millie Janalee came home in.  Holding his precious coming home gown.  With my diaper bag on my shoulder.  It all seemed familiar.  Like we just did the same thing yesterday anticipating picking up our firstborn.  Surreal.  Joyful.  

I was very impressed with the procedures put in place for adoptive families at this hospital.  They had a room they offered us free of charge if we wanted to spend the night the night before.  It is right by the nursery.  We chose not to take it so that Smith's birthparents could have this time to spend with Smith and not worry about distractions or handling more difficult emotions from our being there.  I also had my own hospital bracelet so that if we did stay in Oxford, I was able to stop by the nursery and see him anytime.  They treated me as his mama from the minute they met us.  It is a nice feeling. One many may take for granted.

Nancy met us once again in the waiting area and escorted us back to the nursery.  We were welcomed right in by the nurses.  Just in time for him to be fed.  The nurse handed me a bottle, and Russ and I fed our son for the first time.  My mom watched on through the window and snapped some first pictures while she was laying eyes on him for the first time herself.

The nurse allowed us to sit in a swivel chair in a side room off the nursery so we could sit while feeding him.  This we know...he has been a big eater from day one.  Such a sweet boy!

After Nancy and the nurses completed all the discharge paperwork, the nurse wheeled Smith into the room set aside for us to go over all the newborn guidelines.  She didn't test me by making me change a diaper in front of everyone like I had to do with Millie Janalee.  Ha!  I could have done it better this time though.  Although, diaper changes for baby boys is quite different and took some getting used to...and some drying off.

Then it was time to get our son dressed and ready for the road trip home!  It was a group effort.  As it was with Millie Janalee.

Within a couple minutes, he was ready to go!  Sweet and precious as could be.  His birthmother made a beautiful blanket for him and it was perfect for this day.  We strapped Smith in his carseat for the very first time and covered him with the special blanket made just for him for such a day as this.  He was perfection.

And that was it.  We walked in with an empty carrier, and we left with our second child.  Our first son.  We left as a family of FOUR!

It was such  beautiful day in Oxford despite all the red and blue.  Ha!  Russ pulled the car around, and we loaded our precious cargo.  We said our goodbyes to Nancy.  She really has such an incredible job as a birthmother counselor.  What a blessing she has been to so many and to us!  A treasured person with a heart for others.  And always the soft spoken, cheerful, and careful attitude.  We can't say enough about our experience with her!

Smith slept the entire ride home.  It still hadn't sunk in that he was ours.  That this whole thing was real.  How great is our God!  Mama was finally able to get her hands on him once we got home and started settling in.

Russ went to pick up Millie Janalee from his parents' house while I did my motherly duties of baby's first manicure.  I couldn't help it.  It had to be done!  Ha!  He was a trooper, and no one was injured.

For the next couple hours, Russ and I just soaked in the time.  Our first moments alone with our son.  Still trying to comprehend God's goodness.

Waiting on the official introduction to the rest of the family.

Love at First Sight

October 14th, Russ and I anxiously prepared to meet our newest love.  His birthmother labored long the day before.  She was induced on October 13th, and went in around 5:30 am.  He was born at 8:36 pm.  Because it was such an exhausting day for her, we waited until the next afternoon to visit.  She had asked Nancy, her birthmother counselor, about meeting Millie Janalee.  She really was hoping to meet her.  As we were walking out the door, we got this news.  We went into high gear getting Millie Janalee dressed and packed for the road trip to Oxford.  Since two-year olds are completely unpredictable and this was such an intensely emotional situation, my mom traveled with us to keep Millie Janalee in the waiting room until we were ready for her in the room.

There really is no way to prepare for this moment.  No matter how many times you go through it.  Each adoption is different with its own unique sensitivities and emotion.  It was a very quiet drive.  Only the sound of Millie Janalee chitter chattering in the back seat.  Nancy met us in the waiting room and walked us back.

To meet our son.

It is a difficult line to walk...meeting your son for the first time, caring for and loving the birthparents, guarding yourself from the possibilities, and balancing it all.  We gave our hugs and smiles to both birthparents.  And there he was.  Sleeping soundly in his birthmother's arms.  Wrapped up like a little burrito.  Tiny nose, sweet little chin.  All our hopes and prayers wrapped up in the love of four parents.  It really is amazing...adoption.  God never ceases to amaze me how he works and covers situations with His love and provision.

We spent some time loving on Smith, staring at his sweet features, talking with the birthparents, and listening to them take guesses as to which feature came from who.  It is always surreal.  We also had the honor of meeting the birthmother's mom.  Such a sweet blessing to see the support and love filling this difficult decision.  We have prayed for her as much as we have prayed for the birthparents.  We knew she, too, was struggling emotionally while staying strong and supportive of her daughter.  We brought gifts and exchanged them before Russ left the room to bring Millie Janalee in.

Millie Janalee entered the room and found me immediately.  She walked quietly over to the couch where I was holding her baby brother.  She leaned her sweet body against my legs and looked at this sweet bundle.  My heart was full.  I let her "pat" him and kiss his head.  I asked her if she could say "brother."  She shook her head.  Then she looked over at the birthmother and gave her sweetest and biggest smile pulling her little shoulders up by her ears.  Such a ham!

The birthfather captured these moments as he also enjoys photography.

The birthmother had a gift for her.  Millie Janalee loves presents and enjoyed unwrapping two thoughtful books.  One was a Big Sister book, and she handed it to Russ to "read it."  He began reading to her with her in his lap and our son in mine.  After the first couple pages, they just looked at pictures and talked about it.  Ha!  It was time for us to say our goodbyes and give the birthmother time to rest as she became more uncomfortable.  That "sisser" book is still one of her favorite books to read.

We passed our son back to his first mother as we said our goodbyes and nervously ended this precious time together.  It may be the only time we are all together...or not.  But I wanted to soak in every detail of this moment for Smith.  I want him to know how much love surrounded him from his beginning.

As we prepared to walk out, the birthmother's mom asked if we could pray together.   Absolutely!  We all held hands around the hospital bed as she led us in prayer.  Praying Jeremiah 29:11 over Smith's little life.  Talk about emotions!  On our way out the door I hugged her neck tightly and whispered, "We are praying for you too."  And we are.  She has touched me.  It was a joy to meet the woman who raised the birthmother to be the incredible young woman she is today.  Such a gift.

It was love at first sight.  Love.  It makes a family.

The Big Reveal

It's time to start sharing Smith's sweet adoption story.  Russ and received THE CALL on a lazy Saturday morning in late August.  Karen, the Bethany director, was on the other end of the line and said, "Megan..." in her low tone voice (which usually means big news).  "Yes?" I answered from the comfort of my bed.  Russ had woken up with Millie Janalee and let me sleep in that day.  "Is Russ there?" "Yes..." I answered a little more nervously.  I jumped straight up from bed and ran downstairs to where Russ was.  "Are you sitting down?" she asked.  Ummmm...at this point, my heart was racing and I had put her on speakerphone.  Russ's eyes were as big as saucers, and I was thinking "Surely not!  Not this soon.  What else could it be?!"  Then she told us.  We sat in shock staring at each other. She gave us all the information we needed about the birthparents.  We left the conversations with talks of meeting them sometime in September, since it would take some planning on our part for Russ to take off work and travel from Missouri to Jackson, MS.

September 20th was the day.  We left Millie Janalee with my dad and brother, and we traveled south bright and early that Saturday morning.  In case you thought it would be easier to do this the second time around, you were wrong!  I couldn't eat breakfast.  In fact, I couldn't eat much of anything that entire week.  We laid eyes on them, gave hugs, and spent the next 2-3 hours talking, laughing, and crying together.  It always amazes me how God places families together.  Binds hearts and forms extended families based on the common love for a child.  We finished the joint meeting without a clue as to the gender!  It was killing me.  Ha!

Russ and I had some time to digest everything and talk things through on our 3 1/2 hour ride back to our hometown.

When we found out it was a baby BOY, we came up with a quick, fun way to reveal the news to our family.  Of course, we needed to let Millie Janalee know too.

"Yay! A brother!"

It took a while for the reality to actually hit her I think.  Haha!

"What?? I won't be the baby anymore!?"

"I don't want a sibling! Give him back!"  LOL!

We made our rounds to the rest of the family.  Announcements during a halftime, a surprise visit to Maw Maw's, and a fun announcement before the mealtime prayer at Russ's parents' house.  There were cheers, shock, and smiles all around!  A baby boy was on his way to our family!

We loved him then just like we loved him before we knew about him!

And we love him even more now!  Precious in His sight indeed.

We're HOME!

Finally, after eighteen days away from home...we returned!  The reason Millie Janalee and I originally traveled to my hometown was for the big game against Auburn - #2 vs #3 in the nation.  More on that later.  Then, we had a baby that following Monday.  And the rest is history.

History I promise to share here.  For those of you waiting for the rundown.

We got the official call on Monday, October 28.  We were free to leave the state with our new baby boy!  Since Russ had already returned to Missouri for work, I really needed some help loading two babies and a dog and ALL our luggage and baby things.  Plus it wouldn't all fit in my car.  So my mom was available to follow me back in her Suburban the following day.  Tuesday it was!

We drove the 5 1/2 hours home.  Without any major event.

I think he likes it here!

Since I was so nervous and unsure of how everything would play out, I had not taken tags off baby clothes.  I hadn't bought much at all or organized a closet for Smith.  I took much care to guard my heart as adoption can always go either way.  Since I was so careful before his sweet birth, there was MUCH to do!  Thankfully, Russ had assembled and set the bassinet up before we came home.  And it looked so perfectly sweet in blue!

This bassinet is a family heirloom.  It has survived 60+ years of babies.  My mom, her brother, their cousins, our cousin, my siblings and me, Millie Janalee, Hughes, Selah Grace, and now Smith!  And all our names are printed on the bottom.  Such a special treasure!

Home sweet home!

Checking in on her "baby bruvver"

Smith wasn't the only one happy to be home.  I need to make a note here to let you know how incredibly thankful I was to have my parents put us up for the two weeks!  Thankful I didn't have to spend all that time in a hotel room.  Thankful to have everything I needed for a newborn at my fingertips, because my parents always had everything we needed for Millie Janalee there.  It makes life SO MUCH EASIER!  If you are a grandparent...do that.  Even so, it is comforting to have your family under the same roof.  Your roof.

With your own toys and playland...

And your daddy's arms to hold you tight...

Even more thankful for my mom and all her hard work helping me get organized, doing our laundry, ironing, changing diapers, shopping for necessities, and SO MUCH MORE!  Thankful for my parents for way too much to list.  I wouldn't trade them for anything!  We said our final goodbyes before my mom made the long drive home on Thursday night.

Yep.  It feels good to be home in our own routine.

Two Weeks

As you can imagine, things around here are in full swing these days.  I did have a chance to take Smith's two week pictures on the actual day. Amidst a crying toddler from her timeout spot and a frustrated baby upset by the chaos.  I just haven't had a chance to blog about it.  I'm working to do better.  Smith was two weeks old this past Monday!

Needless to say, some days I think it's impossible that sweet Smith has been in our family for two weeks.  Then other days I feel like he's been here forever.  We spent the first full two weeks and a day at my parents' home in our hometown.  Basically, our adoption was an out of state adoption.  So the Bethany offices had to complete paperwork (called an interstate compact) and send it back and forth to each other and to the state agencies that make the final decisions.  We could not leave the state with Smith until it was approved.  During that time, my parents were gone on a trip to the Grand Canyon during one week, and Russ had to return to work in Missouri the later part of the two weeks.  I'm sure you can guess that it was a little chaotic mothering two children alone in someone else's home while adjusting to a newborn schedule.  But we made it!  He survived, and so did I.  We were fortunate to have our friend, a local pediatrician, available to see us during our time there.

At Smith's two week checkup, he weighed 7.4 pounds (22%) and measured 20.5 inches long (60%).  Dr Fowler said he was perfect, and I agreed!  He came off the bill blanket earlier in the week, and his color is much better.  He is eating 4 ounces every 4 hours.  He even surprised us with a TWELVE HOUR sleeping stint the night before we left town!  It hasn't happened since, but we were all pretty amazed at the event.  He's pretty gassy...bless his little heart!  So we are adding gas drops to every bottle.  He still has his bouts of tummy pain (at least that's what we think), but he is such a delight!  We have nicknamed him "Mr. Serious" as we watch his little personality come out.  He keeps his forehead furrowed, and it's the cutest thing.  Ha!

We enjoyed lots of fun moments during Smith's second little week of life.  Bathtimes full of activity, and Millie Janalee even assisted in one.  Playtime with his cousin, Hughes.  Lots of visitors.  And special help from a friend who came and spent the day helping me get babies bathed and fed and entertained.  I am thankful for Kristin and Lee who kept us fed most days.  We even took a little field trip to Maw Maw's.  It was lively, but we did it!

I am still amazed at how quickly he changes.  Daily.  I look forward to so many more days and weeks watching his personality form and blossom.  What will his interests be?  What will make him smile?  Who will be his favorite - me or Russ?  Haha!  Whatever the future holds, I know that I will love this boy something fierce!  He's the perfect missing piece to our family.

And we are thankful and in disbelief each day.  Happy two weeks sweet boy!