Easter morning, I went to wake up Millie Janalee from her crib at my parents' house.  She was sitting in her bed bright-eyed and exclaimed, "Hey Ma!" (Yes, she calls me Ma.  I guess all those bonnets have her thinking we are Little House on the Prairie.)  I was so happy to tell her "Happy Easter" and take her downstairs to see her happies from the Easter bunny.  Easter is not at all about the bunny and baskets, but it is so fun to make these fun memories with my daughter in addition to teaching her the real meaning of Easter.

She was so happy to see her goodies.  I'm sure the hairbows made her squeal (or roll her eyes).  She went straight for the sippy cup and began being a "little mommy".  I love watching her take care of her "bebbies!"  Then, of course, she took each book out one by one and sat on the floor flipping through each page.  It took some coaxing to move her along so we wouldn't be late for church.  Ha!

She found a special surprise in the corner.  Susu and Pawpaw's Easter bunny came too!  There were some fun and sweet happies in that basket.  I immediately spied her Beaufort Bonnet bag, of course!  Happy Easter to Mama!  But the first thing Millie Janalee saw...was snacks.

Hidden under the snacks and goodies was a precious card that I will always hold dear.  When Mama and I were cleaning out Nonnie and Pops's house a few years back, we found a card with a note attached that Nonnie had written.  "Great granddaughter card - if we live so long"  How priceless for Millie Janalee to have a special card handwritten from her Nonnie.  Nonnie would have loved Millie Janalee, and Millie Janalee would have loved Nonnie!  Oh that I could visit with her one more time!  This card went straight into Millie Janalee's keepsake box when we got home.

The Easter bunny hid special treats inside the Easter eggs, and it didn't take long for her to find them!  "Fish" snacks!  Millie Janalee sat there stuffing those goldfish in her mouth as fast as she could.  A very healthy breakfast I know.

My mom left before we did for Sunday school, but she left a table set beautifully for our family.  As always.  Easter is the one time of the year that she pulls out the fine China.  She was even able to complete some of her crystal pattern for us to use this year.  Thanks to eBay!  I am thankful for the time and effort she puts into this family meal every year.  It is important to her, and we love it.  A special time for the whole family to gather around the dining room table set just for us.  Eating delicious homemade food.  And usually laughing til our sides hurt.

Beautiful tablescape

Even Millie Janalee had her own Lenox place setting (and friends)

My mom prepping the food after church

Russ worked until time for us to leave for church Sunday morning, so he rolled up in time to snap a few pictures before Millie Janalee and I left for Easter service.  We missed him, as we always do, but we are so grateful for his hard work to support our little family and take care of patients.

In her Easter bonnet

I love being this girl's mama!

After church, the family always gathers for a family picture.  Russ brought all his photography equipment, brushed down his bedhead, slipped on some church clothes, and captured my wonderful family.  Even baby Hughes is there...in his mommy's tummy.  Amazing how life can change so quickly.  We need an updated photo now.

My family

Oh, how thankful I am that Sunday came!  Jesus rose so that we may have life forever with Him.  No matter what troubles or fears or anxieties we have about our future...because He lives, we can face tomorrow!  These truths should be celebrated every day. 

Thank you, God, for sending your only Son to die for us so that we may live forever together in Your presence.  Praising You and singing, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus" and "Holy, Holy, Holy" and so much more!  Praising You forevermore.

From God's Arms to Her Arms to Mine

The Saturday before Mother's Day is recognized as Birthmother's Day.  It's not a day of celebration.  Birthmother's Day was created in 1990 as a day to honor and remember those women who mourn a great loss.  You can read what I had to say about this day last year here.  

"May Birth Mother's Day bring acknowledgement and recognition to every birth mother who ever loved a child lost to adoption.  May it honor and celebrate every mother who became childless after birthing a child, and was forgotten on Mother's Day."  -Mary Jean Wolch-Marsh

As I remember Millie Janalee's birthmother and pray for her today and everyday, I have a song in my heart.  I found this song while researching for a project I'm helping our adoption agency with.  I'm embedding the video of the song at the end of this post, and I urge you to listen to the words.  It will touch your heart I'm sure.  The song is sung from a birthmother's perspective, and the gist of it is in the chorus:

"And maybe you can tell your baby,

When you love him so that he's been loved before.

By someone, who delivered your son, from God's arms,

To my arms, to yours."

How perfect.  How true.  

This baby.  This girl.  MY GIRL.  She was loved.  Way before I knew her...even before I knew about her, I loved her.  But I wasn't alone.  

God knew.  He knew before she was conceived, and he loved her then more than we could ever comprehend.  He knew her beginning and he knows her end.  He created her for a purpose and has her life perfectly planned.

There was a woman who saw her worthy.  Worthy of a chance at life.  There was a woman who loved this unborn child enough to give her life...and even make a plan for her life bigger than what she was able to give.  The woman probably endured many sleepless nights with her hands on her growing belly.  She talked to her unborn daughter and called her by name.  This woman carefully looked through profile book after profile book for the perfect family to care for her precious treasure.  And when the labor pains came and first cry filled the air, I'm sure there were smiles and tears.  I'm sure there was joy and heavy hearts.  Because this woman knew she would soon place this 6 pound 13 ounce babe into another mother's arms.  My arms.

I'm sure she held her baby girl close and studied every feature.  I know she begged her baby to open her eyes so that she could memorize her look.  This woman shared her newborn daughter with family and friends as they all knew the coming days held heartache.  It must've been beyond anything I could comprehend.  Saying goodbye to this beautiful gift from God, and leaving the hospital empty handed.

Fast forward to nearly two years later.  My home is filled with singing, giggling, squeals, constant jabbering, and JOY!  My heart is so full it overflows daily.  God heard my cry.  He heard the cry of Millie Janalee's birthmother.  And he is faithful to complete this good work.

God placed this child into the arms of another mother.  A mother who walked a terrifying, difficult journey.  A mother who loved this child with all her heart.  And who chose the most loving, selfless plan...placing her into the arms of a woman she barely knew who was longing to share her love with a child forever.

So we will not be celebrating Birthmother's Day today.  I will pray for Millie Janalee's birthmother as I have since the day we decided to adopt...before Millie Janalee was even conceived.  We will not celebrate Birthmother's Day, because Millie Janalee's birthmother deserves more.  She was and will always be Millie Janalee's first mother.  Before there was me...she was there.

Mother's Day belongs to us both.

And dear birthmother, I give my word that I will tell my baby that she's been loved before.  Loved by you - the one who delivered her from God's arms to your arms to mine.

Happy Mother's Day to you, birthmother!  I thank my God every time I remember you.

Annual Johnson Egg Hunt

Each year, Russ's brother and family host an Easter egg hunt for their family and friends.  There is always a wonderful turnout.  Children of all ages, friends from their church , homeschool groups, work friends, and family.  Russ and I always love coming to watch the kids hunt eggs, and it gives us a chance to visit with everyone who is able to attend.  This year was Millie Janalee's first year for the egg hunt since it was rained out last year.

As you can see, she was a moving target for the traditional group pictures on the front steps.  Ha!

Once again, Russ had to work and missed another fun event.  We missed him so.  As soon as Millie Janalee and I walked up to the front yard she started pointing and saying, "Ess" (eggs).  But when the hunt actually started, she was much more interested in running around like the big kids.  Ha!  I tried to coach her toward at least one egg, but if you're not fast...you lose it around this group.  We settled for roaming the property and taking pictures.  It was a beautiful day for a hunt!

Her favorite full speed running area was the long driveway.  And the girl has serious speed!  She made her way down to the "big kid area" and found some sweet girls to play with for awhile.  Millie Janalee is like a real live baby doll to all these girls, and she eats it up!

Thankfully, Uncle Jimmy walked up with a special Easter egg for Millie Janalee.  She found one!  Ha!  She carried that egg around with her until we got back to the front porch, where it was placed safely in her huge basket.

Everyone brought a snack to share, and we enjoyed a light pre-lunch snack after the egg hunt.  Millie Janalee was on the go, so I didn't really get much of a chance to visit with everyone.  But we had our own kind of fun in the back yard.  I have learned to just let her play in the dirt...cute clothes and all! That's what the washing machine is for!  Millie Janalee loved playing in the sandbox - especially when her big cousin, Grace, joined her!

I love this big family!  She is never at a loss for a playmate.  Ever.  Unless she puts herself in timeout I suppose...

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with the boys.  Digging in the dirty dog bowl and pouring sand all over herself.  Hunter is one of her little cousins (second cousin actually), and she loved to see what he was up to at all times.  Hunter was unenthused about it.  Ha!

After spending a delightful morning outdoors and soaking in the gorgeous weather, Millie Janalee napped the entire car ride back to town where we met up with my family for lunch.  And what did you expect us to do when she woke up?  She played outside with Pawpaw and Brodie of course!

Millie Janalee loves to swing at Pawpaw and Susu's house.  And she really loves watching Brodie race across the back yard.  Just the force of that dog's tail could knock us all on our feet, but she dares to risk it.  She tried her hand at throwing the frisbee, but apparently Brodie isn't all that into it unless it goes further than the two feet she was throwing it.  Bless her!

We missed Farley.  We boarded him since he's an inside dog so that my sister's eyelids wouldn't turn inside out at Easter.  So Millie Janalee had complete focus on her favorite puppy cousin.  And Brodie seems to like her too.

A perfect beginning to our Easter weekend!  Slowly but surely I'm getting all our events and activities covered.  I have to remember that this blog is first and foremost for my family...a journal of our memories.  So I'm trying not to skip the details of our special weekend.

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Russ and I returned home two days before we left to be with our families for Easter.  I had a list of things to complete before our trip.  And high on that list was taking Millie Janalee to see the Easter Bunny.  I talked Russ into coming along before he took call that night.  He probably wasn't thrilled, but happily complied.

Millie Janalee was dressed in her sweet Easter attire.  When we arrived and excitedly walked up to the door, we saw the sign.  Oops.  Bad planning on my part.  Who knew that the Easter Bunny doesn't come out until 2 in the afternoon?  We were 40 minutes from home, so I suggested a little lunch break to pass the time.  At this point, Russ was less than pleased with my planning.  We enjoyed a family lunch at McAlister's and returned to be the first people in line.

I am so glad we were the first ones, because I'm pretty sure Millie Janalee wouldn't have waited in line very well.  She was itching and wiggling to get down from the second she saw him.  I put her down before the photographer even got set up.  "Hey!" she said.  She walked right up to the big fluffy bunny...and noticed the bucket of suckers next to him.  Ha! 

After grabbing her sucker, she let me plop her right up on the Easter Bunny's lap for some pictures.  In fact, she did exactly what she did last year!  Looked up at him like, "Well, hello there.  It's nice to meet you Mr. Bunny."

I don't know who has more fun making these memories...me or her.  But I know that she loved the Easter Bunny so much more than Santa this year.  Ha!  I know there are families who forego the whole childhood "magic" of the holidays, but for me the Easter Bunny is a fun addition to our celebration.  Seeing life through my daughter's eyes and maybe even reliving my own childhood some...it's the best thing ever!

Making family memories is one of my favorite things to do.  There's no such thing as "too silly" for this group!  It's just how we were raised. 

Relocating CAN Be Fun

So we have a big move ahead of us.  It is a temporary move, so I'm able to accept it a little better.  But it is a long way away from home.  I have never lived outside of Mississippi, so this will be an adventure for this small town gal.  In the middle of the Easter excitement and the anticipation of our nephew's birth anytime, Russ and I decided we better take advantage of the lull in family chaos for a mini vacay and apartment hunting.  I knew once the baby was here, my parents may be too busy to keep Millie Janalee while we were away.

Where are we moving?  Here's your hint...

Once we arrived, Russ and I spent the afternoon touring apartments and traveling all over the area (probably in no logical order!) looking for the best fit for our family before checking into the hotel.  We did more research once we were settled and began our search the next morning.  After a full and exhausting day looking at apartments and townhomes, we decided to have some fun.  Russ and I have never been to this area.  Well, I went when I was 18 months old.  Obviously, there are no memories of that.  Ha!  So we did what every tourist who visits St. Louis does...rode to the top of the arch.

In case you didn't already know, I'm terrified of heights (and snakes and needles).  When we bought our tickets, the clerk said, "No one is afraid of small spaces or heights are they?"  Ummm...YES I am actually!  To get to the top, you ride in a tiny little round cart that fits 5 people crammed.  The whole ride up, I refused to look out the window at the stairs or open spaces.  My whole body was stiff and I was extremely anxious.

When we got to the top, I thought I would pass out!  I walked as fast as I could past the crowd looking for an air vent and open space.  Russ was behind me trying to get my attention, but I was too busy holding my hair up and looking for AIR!  Ha! 

Of course, he went straight to the window to look out.

 

630 feet in the air, this was as close as I got to the window.  Did I mention when we approached the arch, I could look up and see it swaying when the wind blew!  

I will say that I was fascinated watching how the arch was built as we walked through a tribute/museum while we waited on our little cart to take us to the top.

Thankfully, we made it safely to the ground!  We spent the later part of the afternoon walking through an area mall, eating at Cheesecake Factory and discussing our final living arrangements for the upcoming year.  We made a tentative decision, and we made an appointment to see one more place the following day before leaving town.

We couldn't leave town without tasting some of St. Louis's most famous cuisine.  The Hill, the Italian district, is full of amazing restaurants.  So we decided to try a little lunch place before leaving town.  It was so good, and the atmosphere was even better.  A beautiful day taking in the sights.

We made our final stop at where we are sure will be our home before hitting the road for Mississippi.  What's life without a few adventures anyway?  Relocating has me stressed, nervous, and anxious.  But I'm thinking this relocation can be fun!

Here's to the changes ahead!