One Month

Sweet Millie Janalee,

The last time I wrote you a letter, I had only the hope of you.  What a difference a month can make!  One month ago, your daddy and I held a precious treasure, a long awaited miracle baby, an answered prayer of hundreds of prayer warriors.  One month ago, God gave us YOU!

As I think back to my thoughts, feelings, and prayers over the last year...I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving.  Thankful for all the days we waited.  SO incredibly thankful for God's beautiful plan.  Amazingly blessed and thankful for you...all 21 inches of you!  As I sit here with you sleeping on my chest, I am tearful and joyful and full of praise!  What a great God we serve, sweet girl!  Only He could have answered our prayers so beautifully!  Only He could have created this Party of Three!

Millie Janalee, I stare at you all the time.  I stare because you are beautiful...like a baby doll.  I also stare because I want to remember every detail of your itty bitty body.  I stare because I don't want to miss a thing as you change daily.  I stare because I'm scared that if I look away, I will miss a part of your life.  Your daddy and I have waited so long for you and we want to be a part of everything you do.  I stare because I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't witnessed it myself...that we would be so blessed with such an angel baby.  Immeasurably more is what God promised He could do.  And immeasurably more is what he did for us!

I also pray for you, little one.  I pray for His protection over you as you sleep.  I pray for your health.  I pray for your future.  I pray that when Jesus comes knocking, you will answer.  I pray that you open the door and let Him in at an early age.  I pray that you allow God to use you...just as He already has...to change the world.  Even if it's your own little world.  I pray you let Him lead you and use you for His glory.  He has already used you to change my world.  And countless others.  You are such a special young lady!  God has used your story in amazing ways, and I am so proud of you and how you point others to Him.  I pray that you always walk in the light.  And when your little feet are weary, I pray you let Him carry you.

I promise, my love, that your daddy and I love you more than you could ever imagine.  As I watch you sleep with your little mouth wide open...my heart is so full it hurts.  And I know that no matter how much I love you...God loves you even more!  He knew you before you were born.  He knew we needed you...and I pray we are the parents He wants us to be.  I pray that God gives us wisdom as we walk through this life with you.  I pray that He guide us through every phase of parenthood.  My prayer is that we always be guided by our Heavenly Father...the one who built our little family.  After all, you belong to Him! 

I must admit that I'm traumatized by how fast time is going!  I absolutely love watching every change.  I love that you are more alert and awake during the day.  I love that you have started grabbing me when i feed you.  I love that you lift your head to look at my face when you are on my shoulder.  I love your facial expressions.  I love how you are filling out.  I love it all!  But, I also miss things already.  I miss your baby face.  I miss your newborn screech.  I miss your 6 pound 13 ounce weight.  I'm sure I will spend the rest of your life soaking up and loving every phase of your life!  And I'm also sure I will spend the rest of your life looking back with a smile and missing these baby moments.  I don't dare look too far down the road!  My heart begins to ache and tears fill my eyes when I think too far ahead.  I want to be here with you.  In this moment.  Forever.  I want to always be present with you and live every good, bad, and ugly moment to the fullest!  I will spend the rest of my days thanking God for every second of this life He has blessed us with!  Oh, sweet girl, I'm so happy!  To God be the glory!

I love you!
Mama

"Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift!"  2 Corinthians 9:15