FAQ Answered

Since announcing our decision to adopt, we have been asked numerous questions. Many of the same questions keep coming up as we talk to different people. We love answering these questions! We love that so many of our family and friends and some we don't know personally have committed to pray for our process, our baby, and the birthmother of our child! I want to answer any questions I can so that you know exactly what you're praying for. So, I've decided to post a Frequently Asked Questions answered blog post to answer questions you may have. I'm assuming you may have some of the same questions. So, here's my attempt at answering any questions you may have.

1. Where will this baby come from? We made the decision to adopt domestically. This means our baby will be born in the United States. We have researched international adoption for the past two years exclusively mainly because of fears associated with domestic adoption. Over time, our hearts turned to domestic adoption. There are many babies in this country who need loving families. We may, in the future, decide to adopt internationally when we are in a better place financially. We are working with the Mississippi office, so most likely our baby will actually be born in Mississippi! We could adopt out of state as well depending on circumstances. However, it is more likely to be a Mississippi adoption.
2. What agency are you using? We have talked with several agencies over the past couple of years. We narrowed it down to two agencies who do domestic adoptions. We first chose a facilitation center out of California because we have a couple of friends who were using them. We had even completed our orientation phone call and received our contract in the mail. Because of a series of events and timing, we never signed the contract and spent a little time really contemplating which direction we wanted to go. We had fears financially as all our money was due up front and that didn't include attorney fees, traveling, profiles, etc. Over time our cost could be over $22,000 for a two-year contract, and most of that was due up front. God intervened in a way that was similar to a big billboard saying, "I have a different plan!" So, we took time to research and make phone calls to our current agency, Bethany Christian Services. I completely trust this agency, and we have had a wonderful experience thus far in our orientation meeting and other correspondence.
3. When can we expect a baby? Well, that's a hard question. Some adoptions have an estimated time line based on a waiting list, which is the way it is with most international adoptions. However, we are pursuing an open adoption. The birthmother will choose the family for her baby. So, we could wait a short amount of months...or we could wait years. It all depends on her desires for her child, and what we have to offer as an adoptive family. We are also matched based on preferences. We are more open on our preferences and are praying and hoping for a short wait time once our home study is completed. Our wait time doesn't start until our home study is completed. We are hoping that will be finished by the end of the summer. Then, all we do is wait and pray...and wait and pray some more!
   
4. Where are you in the process? We filled out our preliminary application around March 8. We were pre-approved on March 14 and invited to attend the orientation meeting. We decided to attend the first meeting in Hattiesburg on April 15. We had ants in our pants and couldn't wait for a closer one! Ha! Since that date, we have been waiting on our social worker to begin our home study process. Just yesterday, I received an email letting us know that Bethany has worked something out for us! We will be working with a worker out of Oxford for our home study, and we will have another worker in our Bethany office with us while we wait. This was very exciting! I spoke with our worker today, and we scheduled our first meeting for Friday, June 3 at 1:00 in Oxford! I'm so excited to get this home study started. At that hour long joint meeting, our worker will give us LOTS of paperwork to work on. Lots of telling about ourselves, physicals, etc. We will work on that quickly and begin our last few meetings. She assured me that Russ and I would be a priority for her this summer, which means I expect a pretty quick process as long as we get our part done. Yay! So, that's where we are right now. While we wait on all this "hurry up and wait some more" stuff, I am getting the nursery in order. We have a crib and have repainted the dresser and end table we already had in our guest room. It's looking so cute! It's fun just to have something to work on while we wait. By the end of the summer, we will be ready, hopefully, for a call from a hospital if that happens! If we have months to prepare, we'll be even more ready. Ha!
   
5. How many t-shirts have you sold? I get this question a lot as people pick up their own shirts. I am incredibly amazed, excited, humbled, and overwhelmed with the response on t-shirts! We have sold over 250 shirts so far since the beginning of May! That's 250 shirts in less than a month! WOW! I reordered, and still have plenty left if you haven't gotten yours yet, or if you know someone else who would like one.
   
6. How can I get a shirt? You can order on our sidebar and I'll ship it right out! If you are from Corinth, shirts are available at Jilli B's downtown. Jilli B's is on the corner of Cass St. and Waldron St. Help yourself and tell others! I'm so thankful for the owner's willingness to sell them for us for no profit. Simply at our cost of $18! Such a sweetie! Of course, you can also contact me and pick up your shirt if you'd like.
   
7. Why do you want us to send pictures? If you have been reading our blog, you know by now that I'm asking you to send me pictures of you and your friends/family wearing your t-shirt. The newest order of shirts have a sticker asking for pictures and my email address. The reason is simple. I am amazed at how loved our sweet baby is already. I am overwhelmed at the number of people lifting him/her up in prayer. I want this precious baby to know and see how many people knew about them, prayed for them, and loved them even when there was just the HOPE of them. We are putting these pictures in a scrapbook for our child to look at over and over so he/she will know that they were wanted! We have already put some in our profile for birthmothers to see, so that they will know about all the love and prayers as well. Please help us by emailing your pictures to me at mssmith_14@yahoo.com. You can also send them to me by mail or in person. Thanks so much! Don't you LOVE my Van Winkle family....
8. How did you know you were supposed to adopt? This question is my favorite! I asked this question over and over to adoptive mothers. Some of their stories are as obvious as an overwhelming feeling while fixing supper, calling the agency right then, and having a super fast process. Some are much longer and involved. Everyone has a different story, and I love to hear them all. Throughout our infertility, we were prayerful. Prayerful for a child. Prayerful that a treatment would work. Prayerful that standing on my head would work! (Okay...not exactly like that. But pretty close! Ha!) But, I was never prayerful that His will be done. This could be a post in itself, so I'll just cut to the chase. After three years of treatments (this was after a year of trying before that), we decided to stop treatments. I wasn't at peace with everything, we were emotionally drained, physically drained, and it just wasn't what it was supposed to be about anymore. I was treating myself like a baby making machine. That's not what having children should be. All this time, we had researched international adoptions (even before we finished treatments) and were excited about that possibility in the future. But, we weren't ready yet. A year after stopping treatments, my heart had changed. You see, after a couple years of treatments, I began praying that God would change my desires. I truly wanted to want what He wanted for me. I just needed a change in my desires. "He is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!" Eph. 3:20 When I realized that I wasn't thinking about being pregnant anymore but dreaming about bringing home a baby, I knew my desires were changed. I really wanted to adopt. I don't remember the exact time or place, but I do know my desires were changed. I have never "given up" on being pregnant ever. I just have a desire to adopt a child right now and possibly more in the future. That's where my heart is. Russ's decision is a little different. It is his story to tell, but just know he came around at a different time than I. But, our timing was PERFECT!
9. What do you need right now? Right now, we are only asking for prayers and if you're able or felt led, to purchase a t-shirt. However, prayers are more powerful than any amount of money! Thank you for the prayers already lifted on our behalf. We are feeling them, and we canNOT wait to see how the Lord moves through our journey. Even if it is to help one family choose adoption or trust His plan more. That makes is worth it!

I know that this was a very lengthy post! Sorry! But, this will pretty much give you an overall idea of where we are and what's going on with this process you have been praying for! If you have any questions about adoption or our process or our journey we've been on or look forward to going on, feel free to email me at mssmith_14@yahoo.com. I'll be happy to answer whatever I can or find the answer if I don't know!