Like infertility, adoption is one of those things you really can't totally understand unless you are in or have been in the process yourself. Although adoption is different from how many people grow their families, it is how we choose to begin to grow our family. I want to use this blog as a place for others to watch our journey, pray with us and for us, and also to educate others on the adoption process. During the four (I don't count the last year because we were no longer "struggling") years Russ and I struggled with infertility, there were always well meaning comments that just hit me wrong. Of no fault of anyone else. But, once again, unless you've been there...you can't totally understand how words can affect people. I have found that many others feel the same way, and I came across a great resource that I feel is worth sharing. Especially to those who are a part of our daily life. So, I'm passing it on...

Positive Language - Negative Language

Birthparent - Real Parent
Biological Parent - Real Parent
Birth Child - Own Child
My Child - Adopted Child
Born to Unmarried Parents - Illegitimate
Terminate Parental Rights - Give Up
Make an Adoption Plan - Give Away
To Parent - To Keep
Waiting Child - Available Child
Parent - Adoptive Parent
Child Placed for Adoption - Unwanted Child
Court Termination - Child Taken Away
Child with Special Needs - Handicapped Child
Child from Abroad - Foreign Child
Was Adopted - Is Adopted

Words not only convey information, they also evoke feelings. One of our required readings is Dear Birthmother. This book talks about misconceptions of adoption. Many times, the language we have heard on TV dramas or movies have contributed to these misconceptions. We use positive language to educate others and help alleviate these misconceptions over time. I'm sure no one is ever ill-meaning when using negative language. I have been guilty of it in the past. They may not be educated on true adoption. I hope this helps to encourage others and help some as they educate themselves, and in turn educate about adoption. Using positive language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as giving birth is...one no more important than the other.

"The Legacy of An Adopted Child"

Russ and I have been reading Dear Birthmother as we prepare for our adoption. This is a requirement with our agency, but it is also such a moving book. The focus of the book is to recognize the four main myths of adoption. The book is laced with letters written to birthmothers and by birthmothers.

The more I read the letters, the more my heart ached for the birthparents. I could never imagine having to make the decision to make an adoption plan for a life growing inside of me. I'm so thankful that these women have chosen life when there are certainly "easier" options now. I respect the women and their families who watch as the doctors check ultrasounds knowing that they may or may not see them after their birth. Such sacrifice. Such love. Children who enter families through adoption are blessed with two different loves. That of their birthmother, the one to whom God gave them first. And that of their "Mama," the one who longed for, prayed for, cried for, and begged for the chance to mother one of God's children. Scouring other adoption blogs, I came across this poem, and I love it!

"The Legacy of An Adopted Child"

Once there were two women

Who never knew each other.

One you do not remember,

The other you call Mother.

Two different lives,

Shaped to make yours one.

One became your guiding star,

The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,

The second taught you to live in it.

The first gave you a need for love,

And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,

The other gave you a name.

One gave you the seed of talent,

The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions,

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first smile,

The other dried your tears.

One gave you up,

It was all that she could do.

The other prayed for a child,

And was led straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,

The age-old question through the years:

Heredity or environment - which were you a product of?

Neither, my darling, neither -

Just two different kinds of love.

Sweet Dreams

Dreaming of a baby lying here...


Dreaming of sweet giggles and cries coming from here...


Dreaming of reading one of these...


Dreaming of a baby in these...


Dreaming of curtains/pillows made from these...

Dreaming of putting tiny laundry in this...

Dreaming all the time...

Dreaming while we wait on this long and involved process known as adoption. And, the only thing I know for sure is that He is able to do even more than I've ever dreamed! How amazing!

Sweet Summertime

School's out! It's officially summertime! And, I can think of no better way to celebrate the beginning of summer than with a little vacay on the water! Russ came home from work a couple of weeks ago to let me know that he was told he still had six days of paid vacation left that he will lose if they aren't used before June. So, he quickly scheduled a little vacay from work, and I got started planning something FUN! Russ and I have only traveled as a "Party of Two" once since we were married, and since we don't know when a little one will come into the picture, we thought it would be fun to take a small trip. We are saving money like crazy right now, so we opted for a three day Pickwick vacation. We rented the cutest little cabin on the water! Jenny and Jeff spent all day Monday, spent the night, and hung out Tuesday with us. We had a blast!

Our cute cabin!

Monday, we rented a pontoon boat and spent the entire day out on the lake. It was forecast to rain, but the weather was perfect! Since school was technically still in session, we were pretty much the only ones on the water. So relaxing and FUN! It was fun to have an "adult day" with Russ's sister and Jeff. There were lots of stories that will stay on the boat (Ha!) and lots of laughs!

Jenny and me hanging out at the waterfall soaking in the sun

Jeff and Russ under the covering

Russ and Jeff swam some to cool off. Jenny and I only dipped in on occasion when needed. Ha! The water was very refreshing!

Jump!

Loving my ice cream bar after a quick stop at Grand Harbor!

Jenny and Jeff

We came back to the cabin, showered, and headed to Broken Spoke for supper. Very yummy! Sorry, there are no pictures from our evening. When we came back for the night, we spent a few hours on the back screened in porch talking and listening to music. The next morning, we were up with swimsuits on, and ready to spend the day out on the dock and around the cabin. Russ took a few pictures too.

Such the photographer!

Some snapshots of our Tuesday...

We got Will to come up on Tuesday and bring his kayak for the boys to play, and Grace surprised us by hiding in the kayak as they carried it out to the dock. Will and Grace got there in time for a quick lunch at Rib Cage! My favorite Pickwick eating place!!

Me and Grace at Rib Cage

Back at the cabin, the boys took turns kayaking while Jenny and I sprayed our sunscreen and laid out on the dock. Grace, of course, had a blast running the length of the dock from the "beach" to where we were!

The guys discussing the kayak while Russ drools over wanting his very own!

Grace running around while the girls prepare to get some sun

We enjoyed watching the boys paddle around, and we even lost sight of them a few times. They had a blast! I think Will ended up pretty sunburned from his fun kayaking adventure!

Will (our nephew)

Russ's turn

Jeff let Grace paddle a little

We all enjoyed the rest of our day doing all kinds of things around the cabin. It was a lovely day for hanging out outdoors! One of the things that made it even more heavenly....

A fabulous hammock!

By the end of the afternoon, the peer pressure was too much! I even got out in the kayak! Quite a moment!

My first kayaking adventure

Jenny, Jeff, Will, and Grace went home Tuesday night. Russ and I stayed one more night before heading back home. After a frantic one hour search and a series of events, we found out that our car keys made it home with Jenny and Jeff. So, Will and Seth graciously offered to bring them back the next morning. It turned out to be a good deal. They spent the day fishing off the dock and kayaking some more.

Will and Seth fishing off the dock

It was a great mini vacay on the lake! Ahhh....Sweet summertime!

FAQ Answered

Since announcing our decision to adopt, we have been asked numerous questions. Many of the same questions keep coming up as we talk to different people. We love answering these questions! We love that so many of our family and friends and some we don't know personally have committed to pray for our process, our baby, and the birthmother of our child! I want to answer any questions I can so that you know exactly what you're praying for. So, I've decided to post a Frequently Asked Questions answered blog post to answer questions you may have. I'm assuming you may have some of the same questions. So, here's my attempt at answering any questions you may have.

1. Where will this baby come from? We made the decision to adopt domestically. This means our baby will be born in the United States. We have researched international adoption for the past two years exclusively mainly because of fears associated with domestic adoption. Over time, our hearts turned to domestic adoption. There are many babies in this country who need loving families. We may, in the future, decide to adopt internationally when we are in a better place financially. We are working with the Mississippi office, so most likely our baby will actually be born in Mississippi! We could adopt out of state as well depending on circumstances. However, it is more likely to be a Mississippi adoption.
2. What agency are you using? We have talked with several agencies over the past couple of years. We narrowed it down to two agencies who do domestic adoptions. We first chose a facilitation center out of California because we have a couple of friends who were using them. We had even completed our orientation phone call and received our contract in the mail. Because of a series of events and timing, we never signed the contract and spent a little time really contemplating which direction we wanted to go. We had fears financially as all our money was due up front and that didn't include attorney fees, traveling, profiles, etc. Over time our cost could be over $22,000 for a two-year contract, and most of that was due up front. God intervened in a way that was similar to a big billboard saying, "I have a different plan!" So, we took time to research and make phone calls to our current agency, Bethany Christian Services. I completely trust this agency, and we have had a wonderful experience thus far in our orientation meeting and other correspondence.
3. When can we expect a baby? Well, that's a hard question. Some adoptions have an estimated time line based on a waiting list, which is the way it is with most international adoptions. However, we are pursuing an open adoption. The birthmother will choose the family for her baby. So, we could wait a short amount of months...or we could wait years. It all depends on her desires for her child, and what we have to offer as an adoptive family. We are also matched based on preferences. We are more open on our preferences and are praying and hoping for a short wait time once our home study is completed. Our wait time doesn't start until our home study is completed. We are hoping that will be finished by the end of the summer. Then, all we do is wait and pray...and wait and pray some more!
   
4. Where are you in the process? We filled out our preliminary application around March 8. We were pre-approved on March 14 and invited to attend the orientation meeting. We decided to attend the first meeting in Hattiesburg on April 15. We had ants in our pants and couldn't wait for a closer one! Ha! Since that date, we have been waiting on our social worker to begin our home study process. Just yesterday, I received an email letting us know that Bethany has worked something out for us! We will be working with a worker out of Oxford for our home study, and we will have another worker in our Bethany office with us while we wait. This was very exciting! I spoke with our worker today, and we scheduled our first meeting for Friday, June 3 at 1:00 in Oxford! I'm so excited to get this home study started. At that hour long joint meeting, our worker will give us LOTS of paperwork to work on. Lots of telling about ourselves, physicals, etc. We will work on that quickly and begin our last few meetings. She assured me that Russ and I would be a priority for her this summer, which means I expect a pretty quick process as long as we get our part done. Yay! So, that's where we are right now. While we wait on all this "hurry up and wait some more" stuff, I am getting the nursery in order. We have a crib and have repainted the dresser and end table we already had in our guest room. It's looking so cute! It's fun just to have something to work on while we wait. By the end of the summer, we will be ready, hopefully, for a call from a hospital if that happens! If we have months to prepare, we'll be even more ready. Ha!
   
5. How many t-shirts have you sold? I get this question a lot as people pick up their own shirts. I am incredibly amazed, excited, humbled, and overwhelmed with the response on t-shirts! We have sold over 250 shirts so far since the beginning of May! That's 250 shirts in less than a month! WOW! I reordered, and still have plenty left if you haven't gotten yours yet, or if you know someone else who would like one.
   
6. How can I get a shirt? You can order on our sidebar and I'll ship it right out! If you are from Corinth, shirts are available at Jilli B's downtown. Jilli B's is on the corner of Cass St. and Waldron St. Help yourself and tell others! I'm so thankful for the owner's willingness to sell them for us for no profit. Simply at our cost of $18! Such a sweetie! Of course, you can also contact me and pick up your shirt if you'd like.
   
7. Why do you want us to send pictures? If you have been reading our blog, you know by now that I'm asking you to send me pictures of you and your friends/family wearing your t-shirt. The newest order of shirts have a sticker asking for pictures and my email address. The reason is simple. I am amazed at how loved our sweet baby is already. I am overwhelmed at the number of people lifting him/her up in prayer. I want this precious baby to know and see how many people knew about them, prayed for them, and loved them even when there was just the HOPE of them. We are putting these pictures in a scrapbook for our child to look at over and over so he/she will know that they were wanted! We have already put some in our profile for birthmothers to see, so that they will know about all the love and prayers as well. Please help us by emailing your pictures to me at mssmith_14@yahoo.com. You can also send them to me by mail or in person. Thanks so much! Don't you LOVE my Van Winkle family....
8. How did you know you were supposed to adopt? This question is my favorite! I asked this question over and over to adoptive mothers. Some of their stories are as obvious as an overwhelming feeling while fixing supper, calling the agency right then, and having a super fast process. Some are much longer and involved. Everyone has a different story, and I love to hear them all. Throughout our infertility, we were prayerful. Prayerful for a child. Prayerful that a treatment would work. Prayerful that standing on my head would work! (Okay...not exactly like that. But pretty close! Ha!) But, I was never prayerful that His will be done. This could be a post in itself, so I'll just cut to the chase. After three years of treatments (this was after a year of trying before that), we decided to stop treatments. I wasn't at peace with everything, we were emotionally drained, physically drained, and it just wasn't what it was supposed to be about anymore. I was treating myself like a baby making machine. That's not what having children should be. All this time, we had researched international adoptions (even before we finished treatments) and were excited about that possibility in the future. But, we weren't ready yet. A year after stopping treatments, my heart had changed. You see, after a couple years of treatments, I began praying that God would change my desires. I truly wanted to want what He wanted for me. I just needed a change in my desires. "He is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!" Eph. 3:20 When I realized that I wasn't thinking about being pregnant anymore but dreaming about bringing home a baby, I knew my desires were changed. I really wanted to adopt. I don't remember the exact time or place, but I do know my desires were changed. I have never "given up" on being pregnant ever. I just have a desire to adopt a child right now and possibly more in the future. That's where my heart is. Russ's decision is a little different. It is his story to tell, but just know he came around at a different time than I. But, our timing was PERFECT!
9. What do you need right now? Right now, we are only asking for prayers and if you're able or felt led, to purchase a t-shirt. However, prayers are more powerful than any amount of money! Thank you for the prayers already lifted on our behalf. We are feeling them, and we canNOT wait to see how the Lord moves through our journey. Even if it is to help one family choose adoption or trust His plan more. That makes is worth it!

I know that this was a very lengthy post! Sorry! But, this will pretty much give you an overall idea of where we are and what's going on with this process you have been praying for! If you have any questions about adoption or our process or our journey we've been on or look forward to going on, feel free to email me at mssmith_14@yahoo.com. I'll be happy to answer whatever I can or find the answer if I don't know!

Happy Mother's Day

Me and Mama

On Mother's Day, my mom has only one request...we DON'T eat out! Ha! The crowds and lines on Mother's Day are not her favorite. In the past, she has cooked a meal for Mother's Day. But, this year, Kristin and Lee gave her a Mother's Day feast for Mother's Day. It was delicious! Unfortunately, I didn't get a single picture of them or the meal. But, trust me...YUMMO!

Daddy and Maw Maw

All of our family was home, Lee's mom was there, and we enjoyed a nice meal of chicken cordon bleu (not sure if I spelled that correctly), ham, loaded mashed potatoes, rolls, grilled asparagus, etc. Oh, how I would love to eat that meal right now! Russ and I, well, we gave my mom some new clothes. Maybe one day, I'll cook a big, extravagant meal! Ha!

Me and Russ

It was a lovely day to celebrate mothers...old and new and soon-to-be! Crazy to think that this could be my last Mother's Day without a little one. Or I could have more to come before Baby Johnson joins our family. But, the HOPE is overwhelming! So thankful to have such wonderful influences from my mother and other mother figures throughout my life!

Happy Mother's Day!

Unexpected "Expectant" Mother's Day Surprise

Last weekend, after the Coke race and Green Market, Russ and I went to his parents' house to visit with family and friends for the afternoon. We spent the day talking, laughing, and playing as we watched the kids run around and have a blast. Around suppertime, there was a huge surprise in store! I saw my family walking up the sidewalk, and paired it with some whispering I had noticed earlier in the day. I began to get nervous! I had no idea what was in store - a surprise Mother's Day shower!

Loving this owl baby book from Mama

Russ's mom decided to put something special together for my first "expectant" Mother's Day. She and Jenny worked together on the surprise, and Jenny even made a cake identical to our Praying for More t-shirts! So special!! I probably would have started crying if I weren't sweating so bad over the surprise! Ha!


It was wonderful having both sides of the family there to celebrate with us! Everyone watched me open gifts. For those who know me, you know how nervous I was opening gifts in front of people! Ha! I get very nervous doing that!


But everyone was SO generous, and it was SO special to have sweet gifts for Baby Johnson! It made it feel real!


Adoption is so different from being pregnant. No one knows the estimated birth date. There is not the constant reminder of a growing belly. So, to have our family recognize us as "expectant" parents was super sweet! I still smile thinking about it, and I go in the baby's room at least twice a day to look at the sweet gifts!

LOVE the wording on this frame...
We loved you before we knew you even when there was just the hope of you - we loved you!

Obsessed with this diaper bag from Jenny, Roan, and Lynn!

Kristin made us a painted window to match our t-shirts...except there is actually a baby in this one! Can't wait to hang this in the nursery!

The yummy cake made by Jenny

It was a true party for this "Party of Two...Praying for More!" Those who had their t-shirts wore them in our honor. Sorry I didn't get everyone's picture! Remember, though, to send me pictures of you and your friends/family wearing the shirts so that we can show our baby just how prayed for and wanted he/she already is!

Kristin and Lee

Lynn and Roan

It was a completely unexpected "expectant" Mother's Day surprise!

Thank you to all our family and friends who came and celebrated with us! We truly are blessed!

Green Market and Coke Race Recap

We did it! Kristin and I set up our first tent at Corinth's Green Market to sell our handmade items. And, it was super cute and quite successful! Unfortunately, we won't be able to make it to the next market. Maybe we'll see about July. We woke up early and were at the depot to set up at 6:30. We got a great spot with plenty of room behind us to hold larger items for shoppers and for our "moral support" to sit around and visit! Ha! Take a look in our tent...

Look at that huge summer wreath and beautiful hand crafted cross board!

Bright colored goods and unique items!

My aprons were a hit!

Loved these crosses! I bought one for a Mother's Day gift and one for the nursery!

Cute frames and glasses!

Canvases, shadow boxes, and my shirts in that wine rack...

Our tent

We set up an explanation for the t-shirts on our check-out table to tell our story. Lots of people purchased shirts without even knowing what it was for because they were so cute! Kristin did a great job on those! She even got a t-shirt design job for a local salon out of the deal! Ha!

Party of Two...

We are so thankful for all of our friends and family who came to help us set up and drum up business early! We had customers from 8:00 am until we closed up! Thank you so much Cynthia, Teri, Lee, Daddy, Kathryn, and Lizzie!

Lee, Kristin, me, Cynthia, and Teri

Sisters Smith

Daddy, Kathryn, and Lizzie offering moral support behind the tent! Ha!

Lizzie ended up helping at the check out table for the rest of the day. Thanks girl!

The Green Market was at the same time as the big Coke race. There were over 1,200 runners this year, and I was dying to see it. We couldn't be in two places at once, but I was so proud of Russ! He came by after he finished to lend a helping hand. He finished in 1 hour with no training. Great job, babe!

Me and Russ

We were also thankful for all those who wore their t-shirts to Green Market as walking advertisements! I stopped one lady and said, "I don't know you but you're wearing my shirt! Thank you!" It's awesome! I'm sure they helped us SELL OUT!!! That's right! We sold almost completely out! I had a handful of small sand shirts left, and that was it! I'm reordering this week, and I'm still taking orders! There is NO limit to how many you can buy or we will sell! We'll sell them until we raise all we need. Thank you! Thank you! Your support is overwhelming!

**My next favor I'm asking is for anyone who bought a t-shirt to send me a picture of you or you and your friends/family wearing the shirts. I'm keeping pictures of all those who supported and prayed for our baby so that he/she can see just how loved and wanted he/she already is! I'd be so grateful if you would send me those pictures! Thank you! You can email them to me, give them to me in person, or mail them to me.**

Jenny and Elle

It's just so fun watching people love things that you made with your very own hands! I was so nervous at first, but once we got going and saw everyone's faces...it was fun!

Judy shopping for an apron, and Teri helping her choose.

It started raining about 12:30, and we put sides on the tent and moved stuff inside. Of course, some people thought that meant playtime! Ha!

Daddy

Teri hanging out in the rain!

It was a great day! Thank you to all who stopped by, bought a piece of our handmade work, and for those of you who helped out!

Since I missed the 10K, Roan sent me some pictures as a recap of the morning.

Russ getting ready to walk to the starting line from his parents' house.

Approaching the finish line!

Russ and some of his friends: Cory, Cole, Russ, and John

The "other" Johnsons finished in great time as well! They all made personal records, and we are very proud of them! I'm sorry I missed it, but I'm glad I have the morning in pictures!