Welcome back to our "God Gave Us Love" adoption series. I am beyond excited and grateful for the opportunity to share Jamie's story with you! As a product of adoption, Jamie has been my go-to friend from the day Russ and I felt led to adopt. I bounce thoughts and ideas off of her (and her mom), and she has been such a blessing throughout our own journey. I pray that Russ and I are able to raise Millie Janalee to view her precious life story just as Jamie views hers. Be blessed friends. You will not want to miss this one!
I have always known I am adopted. I can still see the pictures in my baby book of my mom and dad holding me for the first time. The joy in their faces is immeasurable. We have walked through those pages countless times, and I have heard the story over and over since I was young. “Jamie, this was the best day of our life. This was the day we met you. This was the day we brought you home, and we were overjoyed. This is the day the adoption was official. We were so happy!” These captions, along with the pictures, are ingrained in my mind and will forever hold a special place in my heart. These memories helped me learn of God’s perfect plan for my life and the lives of two special families.
Our adoption journey begins with two couples and two places dear to my heart- Meridian and Starkville, MS. The Meridian couple started the adoption process two years prior and, after waiting a year, was told there were not many infants available, but not to get discouraged. They spent this time trying to live as normal a life as possible, waiting for God’s plan, and trying to not be consumed by the fact that they did not have a child – even though they both wanted one deeply. The Starkville couple, freshmen at State, ended up walking down a difficult road – an unplanned pregnancy. They told no one about this journey and hid everything from their parents, families, and friends. It wasn’t until Monday, June 6, 1983, that their families found out, and I arrived. The Meridian couple received a call Friday afternoon telling them a birth-mom chose them, and 3 days later they picked up their week old daughter.
Growing up I often thought about my birth parents, prayed for them, and wondered if they stayed together, or if I had more siblings. I wondered why my eyes were blue, where my blonde hair came from, did they like to read, were they good at sports, how were we alike, how were we different. My parents were so gracious and loving when I talked about these thoughts, feelings and questions. They knew the need I felt for answered questions, but they were also confident in the fact that I wasn’t looking to replace them. I loved my parents and adored them so much; I appreciated their openness and willingness to encourage these thoughts. I knew without a doubt they were my mom and dad, and they supported me no matter what.
I began the search for my birth family as a junior in college. I called the adoption agency in Jackson to find out the process and was assigned the most compassionate and precious social worker. She answered a million questions and helped keep me calm and grounded throughout the process. I started meeting with a Christian counselor – one session is required by state law – I met with him for 3 years! Through our conversations, I realized I was dealing with rejection issues and struggling with anxiety. Our conversations helped me see that no matter what my sins were, how anxious I became, or my deeply rooted rejection issues – God loved me, would never leave me, and created me to be His! I am sure some of those issues stemmed from the unknown of being adopted and unanswered questions. I was never angry or resentful at my birth parents; I just always wanted to know why. At that time I didn’t know anything other than the fact they were 19.
My social worker made contact with my birth-mom. I was told it was the fastest birth search find she witnessed. I received a voice mail from my social worker a few days later while student teaching. I will never forget! I was in the drive-thru at Taco Bell and hearing for the first time, “Hi, we have made contact, and they definitely want to meet you. You also have a brother and sister. “ YES! Imagine getting that news at Taco Bell. I drove back to my classroom and told my supervising teacher – “Umm, I need to leave. I am adopted, and I just found my birth mom. “ Needless to say, I was in shock, and she was in shock…she let me leave.
I then wrote a letter to my birth-mom to be delivered by the agency. What do you say to a woman you have never met but owe your life to? To someone you most highly respect for selflessly giving the most precious gift to an unknown family? I decided I wanted to reassure her I had an amazing life, I loved the Lord, and I was so grateful for her love for me. I also wanted to make contact with her personally if she were willing. After a few months – YES, MONTHS – 7 to be exact (the longest months ever!), I received a hand-written letter on my birthday from this most special woman - One of my most treasured birthday presents! We then began emailing back and forth and then, Labor Day weekend we planned to meet.
That special day is locked in my memories forever. I first met my birth mom at a park, and then we made our way to her church. We shared stories, questions, prayers that we had for each other for the past 23 years. I then met my sister and grandparents – talk about emotional. This strong Christian family welcomed me in with open arms, took me as one of their own, and loved me since day one! I was overflowing with love for this new family of mine, my sweet forever family, and my glorious God who knitted this all into being.
It has been 6 years since that meeting. My birth family attended my wedding, we spend holidays together, and visit often. Not only have I grown close with this precious family – but my parents have, too. The love and respect that they share for these “new” loved ones is abundant, and God’s perfect plan is evident through every detail.
Amidst all of the excitement of the birth search journey – I met my husband. We weren’t the traditional MS couple that met at college and were married that first summer after graduation. For that, I am so grateful. Our time after college was precious. He was able to walk through this process with me, hold my hand when I was fearful, offer a shoulder when I was upset, or engage in my excitement and take it as his own! One of the first questions I asked him was, “What do you think about adoption?” His reply – “Well, my sister is adopted, my sister-in-law is adopted, and my cousin is adopted…so, I pretty much love it.” I will NEVER FORGET that conversation. I thought from the time we started hanging out that we would get married, and after hearing that, I knew! We both have a heart for adoption and have talked about wanting to adopt someday.
That dream is still a desire for us. We LOVE the process, the stories, and the intricate details that God arranges for His perfect plan to come about.
The wonderful thing about our adoption story is that it’s still evolving. The relationships made through this process have forever changed our lives. It’s amazing to see how much alike I am with my birth family, and much I resemble my parents. I do know how blessed I am to be a part of all of these families, and I praise God for orchestrating every little detail.
I am the product of adoption. I am the baby who at some point the birth-mom couldn’t believe was coming. I am the dream of two parents who desired to have a child. I am the perfectly planned, intricately detailed, divinely appointed daughter of the King!
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