FAQ

Today, I've put together a little Question & Answer post to address some of the most common questions or comments we get from blog readers and friends.  But first, I'll give you a link to my guest post today at Mississippi Women Bloggers.  Our theme for May is "Women Who Inspire You/Mothering Advice."  It's all about moms!  If you have a guest post you would like to submit, please do!  All you have to do is sign up for our Mississippi blogging community (It's FREE!), and email your guest post to mississippiwomenbloggers@gmail.com.  We look forward to hearing from YOU!

Now to the Questions and Answers...

• Will y'all adopt again? or When will y'all adopt again?
  We get this question quite often.  In fact, as soon as we brought Millie Janalee home, people began asking when our Party of Three...Praying for More shirts were coming out.  The answer is YES.  We do plan to adopt again.  And again.  Of course, you know what happens when we plan.  God laughs.  As far as when we will adopt...it could be any time.  Russ and I are praying for wisdom to know when we can get started.  If I had to guess, I'd say we will start the process sooner rather than later.  But we expect to wait much longer than we did with Millie Janalee.  Childless couples are typically chosen sooner.  As we know from experience, it doesn't matter what our paperwork says, God will send our child when He is ready.

• What was the situation with Millie Janalee's birthparents?  Why did they choose adoption?
  This is a question we hear more often than you may think.  The answer to this is that it is really not your business.  And it's not that polite to ask this question.  We realize that those asking these questions mean nothing but the best for us.  But, let me explain why this question will not receive much of a response from us.  These questions are intrusive and a very personal part of our adoption experience.  Please never ask these questions in front of Millie Janalee.  Adoption can be confusing and emotional, and it always comes with some sort of loss.  There is no reason for her to ever think you are talking about her or her past.  A past she had no control over.
  

• Where do you shop for Millie Janalee's clothes?
  Now this is a loaded question.  Ha!  As soon as we found out about Millie Janalee, we began shopping.  Let me rephrase that.  I began shopping.  Russ graciously allowed me, in all my excitement, to purchase clothing that was unnecessary but oh so cute!  I have since been "grounded" from Zulily.  So, obviously, I shopped there a lot.  Millie Janalee received lots of great clothes from friends and family.  I also did a lot of shopping through Facebook retailers.  It's waaaay to easy to just order on Facebook with the size and your Paypal email.  Many many times, I would open packages in the mail and have no idea what was coming.  I couldn't remember!  Ha!

• Where does the name Millie Janalee come from?
  I think I've shared this before, but her name is very special.  Which is why I am so adamant that she be called by both names.  Millie is the name of my great aunt, Mildred.  She was really Nonnie's aunt, but they grew up like sisters.  She was Nonnie's best friend, I would guess.  When Nonnie had Alzheimer's and we moved her into assisted living from her home, the only thing she grabbed to carry with her was "Millie's" picture from the wall.  She stuck it in her purse, and we hung it on the wall in her room.  We called her Aunt Num Num (Which was born because of her great cooking skills! -"yum yum" came out "num num" by the babies) She loved us very much!  Janalee came from Russ's mom.  Her name is Mary Janalee, but she goes by Jan.  I have always loved Janalee.  Since Russ and I were dating.  I couldn't believe no one had used it yet, because it is so beautiful and unique!  I'm glad.  We used it!

• Will you tell Millie Janalee she was adopted?  If so, how/when?
  I have mentioned this several times as well.  Yes, Millie Janalee will know that she was adopted.  We have already begun sharing her story with her.  I created a storybook of her adoption story, and we read it to her occasionally.  I believe in normalizing her story, because it is a beautiful story.  And there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed and embarrassed about.  I believe that not telling a child he/she is adopted is asking for trouble.  Eventually, they will find out.  That is not a question.  And when they do, I cannot imagine the betrayal they would feel as they realize their parents (the ones who have raised them all their lives) have in essence been lying to them by omission.  I will always be honest with Millie Janalee.  And age-appropriate.

• I don't know how you have time to blog.
  I cannot even count how many times I have heard this.  Most of the time, it is said with a roll of the eye or a dismissal of my hobby.  The truth is that people make time for what is important to them...or what interests them most.  For example, I often feel like I have no time to sew, scrapbook, journal, create DIY projects, or read lengthy books all the time.  I could easily make time for all of that.  But, it doesn't interest me all that much.  What does interest me is blogging and keeping an online journal of our life to be published into book form at the end of every year.  It is very important to me to remember everyday life and special events in pictures and in written form.  So, while some may not have time to blog...I probably don't have much time for their hobbies either.  And that's okay.

• Will you homeschool?
  I'm actually surprised I get this question as much as I do.  In fact, someone asked me this at the Coke race last weekend.  It shouldn't surprise me, though, seeing as how both my sister-in-laws homeschool or have homeschooled.  My answer to this question is...I have no idea what I will do in the coming years.  Homeschooling has never been on my radar, although I'm always intrigued as I watch how wonderfully it works for others.  There are many amazing things that homeschooling offers.  I do not prescribe to the theory of taking children out of public school unless I truly feel the Lord calling us to do so...or the school system is really in bad shape.  Coming from a teaching background, I tend to be a public school advocate.  I know that where Russ and I plan and hope to settle, the schools are great!  I've worked in them.  Students are well-prepared, and we know many of the teachers.  However, if God calls us to homeschool...I suppose I would do it.  And I would try to do it with a self-discipline that is unnatural and a joyful spirit that would be tested.  Ha!  Maybe you should ask me again in five years!

• What is the most challenging part of becoming a mommy?
  Our social worker asked me this question during one of our post-adoption visits.  It actually stumped me.  Of course, there have been days when I was tired or unmotivated.  But, I feel like the mothering thing has been natural so far.  Not easy.  Just natural.  Mind you, my daughter is not even 10 months old yet!  So, go ahead and laugh at me.  Currently, the most challenging part is finding places to hide store all the baby paraphernalia.  And trying to convince my husband that clean flat surfaces make all the difference in my sanity!  Ha!

• Millie Janalee has traveled more in her eight months of life than I have in years.
  She does travel.  I have always traveled a lot.  Driving a few hours to visit with family or take a vacation is well worth the packing, unloading, and laundry.  In my opinion.  There were two pieces of advice I was given when I became a mother that have stuck with me.  First, have no regrets.  I blame this advice for my not sticking to strict schedules, rocking my baby to sleep, allowing her to sleep in our room for over six months, and not pushing independence very early.  When she's grown, I will never regret rocking Millie Janalee to sleep.  I will not regret letting her sleep in my room for those months.  I fail often, but I try to have no regrets.  The other piece of advice was from a friend who said to acclimate Millie Janalee to our life.  Especially since I'm staying at home and able, there is no reason she cannot participate in our regular pace of life.  She may go to sleep around 8:30 or 9.  But, she doesn't have to be at home to do that.  She can fall asleep on me at a restaurant or at a friend's house.  Or on the road!  We haven't slowed down that much.  The packing has taken a turn for the SCARY!  Ha!  But, we travel so much that I really don't even have to think that hard anymore.  It's an added bonus that her disposition is such that she can do all these things.  Our next child may reject our pace of life completely!  *Side note: There will come a time when she will need to be home at bedtime.  We just aren't there yet.  If we need to sleep late to catch up, we can.

• What tips do you have for making your own baby food?
  If you plan to make your own baby food, be prepared for those funny looks people give.  Be prepared for the comments too.  Just a warning.  I didn't have a strong opinion about making my own baby food...until I began making it.  It's super easy and takes very little time.  We used the Baby Bullet system, but it can be done in a regular food processor or blender.  The Baby Bullet system comes with a booklet that tells you exactly how long to steam, how to cut them, and how many ounces each food typically makes.  Everything is there for you.  And, since I don't cook much, I was very appreciative for the ease of it!  For me, I had no control over Millie Janalee's health and environment prior to her birth.  But, I have control over it now.  Making her own baby food felt right for me.  I will admit that when we travel a lot (like we have since Easter), I give her "fake baby food." 

Do you have more questions?  Ask away, and I will answer them the best way I can.